[Ba-Dump Tissssh - Memes]

[Ba-Dump Tissssh - Memes]

[The Aussie Humour Thread]

1 hour ago, Buckshot Bear said:

You know, that sort of says something about the hunting prowess of the Aboriginal Australian.

[Ba-Dump Tissssh - Memes]

[Support, don't judge.]

37 minutes ago, Shawnee Hills said:

mind your own damned business" would feel better but that's not very nice.  😄

Several years ago I discovered this really neat two-word phrase.

 

When you say something about your pistol, and someone says, "that's a revolver". Or you say something about a silencer and they say, "that's a suppressor". Or my absolute favorite - when you say something about a clip and this guy pops up out of nowhere to tell you, "that's a magazine".

 

There's this nice little two-word phrase. Short words. The first one starts with an F and the second one starts with a Y.

 

I bet it would work real good when somebody started telling me that my guns were garbage because they hadn't been worked on, or if they started telling me that the only reason I was doing good was because I had spent all that money to have my guns worked on.

 

Just a simple two words.

[Does wearing hoods make people stupid?]

30 minutes ago, Blackwater 53393 said:

Don’t forget Buffalo!  That’s still part of New York!!  AND!! The Jets and Giants both play their home games in New Jersey!!

 

 

I've only been up there one time (and once was enough), so I could absolutely be confused on this.

 

But it's always been my understanding that if you just said "New York", you meant the town. Like if you just say "Washington", you mean the town. If you're talking about the state you refer to it as New York State, or Washington State.

 

Buffalo is a all together different town than New York.

 

[Support, don't judge.]

41 minutes ago, Eyesa Horg said:

I've won category on rare occasion

I've never won, but I came in second one time.

 

Of course, there were only two of us shooting classic cowboy in that match.

[Support, don't judge.]

36 minutes ago, Eyesa Horg said:

Some need to understand that we're not all there to win. A lot of us just want to have fun

I haven't shot in several years, but back when I did I would tell people that I was not there to compete. I was there to participate.

 

I have bad knees and a fair size table muscle. Between the two of them, I do not run. Frequently there would be a stage where you were supposed to shoot here and then run over to there. Since I do not run, I knew there was no way that I was going to win, so I didn't try.

 

I was at a big match - Mule Camp, I believe - and this big name shooter - I'm pretty sure it was Lassiter but that's been probably 20 years so I could be wrong - watched me shoot a stage and then told me that if I did this and that and the other thing my times would improve.

 

And I thanked him, because I knew he was trying to be helpful. But I didn't do any of the things he suggested because I wasn't there to win. I was just there to play.

[Ba-Dump Tissssh - Memes]

[Does wearing hoods make people stupid?]

How many football teams are there in New York?

 

I'm thinking two - the Jets and the Giants - but that was like 30 or 40 years ago so I don't know if they're still around.

[When did prison start?]

There is an online story. A paw story - post-apocalyptic world. A pandemic kills about half of the population of the world, which totally destroys the infrastructure, some people are back like the 1800s. Mostly farmers. Some skilled tradesmen that trade their product for food so they don't have to grow it.

 

And in one chapter - this story was posted on a forum, a new chapter every 3 or 4 days - somebody decides they don't like the protagonist. I don't remember why. But they decide they're going to burn down her place. She shoots both of the arsonists. Doesn't kill them but she shoots them. And a posse shows up and takes them away.

 

She is talking to her husband - what are they going to do with them? Do we have any kind of prison?

 

And I posted and said that to have a prison they would have to have a prison guard - actually to have the prison guarded 24/7 they would need at least three guards - and this little community did not have three people that could give up their day job to become prison guards. So they would probably just have a quick trial and string them up.

 

And 3 days later when the next chapter posted, they had a quick trial and they hung them.

 

Yeah Dave, I thought about that barless jail when I was making my post. In the Louis L'Amour book THE IRON MARSHAL, they did not have a jail, so he shackled them to a hitching post. Said it was probably going to get hot around noon time, and if it rained they was going to get wet.

[Ba-Dump Tissssh - Memes]

8 hours ago, Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 said:

Arguably the best Citroen ever, the Deux Chevaux~! 

That is an amazing car. At one point it rolls down the hill sideways. At 3 minutes you can see that this rolling down the hill has completely destroyed the right hand headlight.

 

At 3:58 the headlight has reappeared.

 

Does Deux Chevaux possibly mean STARFISH in French? Because that car regrows pieces that got knocked off.

[When did prison start?]

You ever wonder about that?

 

Somebody does something bad, and the rest of the community gathers together and catches him. What they going to do with him? They put him in jail? Who builds the jail? Who watches him while he's in jail? Who feeds him while he's in jail? You got to have a building and you got to have a jailer and you got to have a cook, at the bare minimum.

 

But what if you are a small community, and everybody already has a job - farmer, doctor, blacksmith, whatever.

 

It seems like the simplest thing to do with your criminal is either physically punish him harshly - whip him - or kill him. Because you probably don't have a place to imprison him and you certainly don't have somebody that can stop what they're doing normally to watch him for however long you're going to keep him locked up.

 

But eventually towns got big enough that they could do that.

 

I just wonder when "eventually" was.

[Can they do that?]

Nope, I was wrong. A few paragraphs later, and the CPS lady is narrating.

 

>Most of my days are paper-work drudgeries, and I get REALLY tired of all the lame excuses from lousy parents about their lousy child-care efforts. One of ‘em was from (can’t say her name here) a woman who’s in jail, along with her boyfriends. Meth is NOT your friend.<

 

That last sentence. So it was drugs.

[Can they do that?]

12 hours ago, Alpo said:

I think it was drugs. I'll have to go back and reread the story to be sure, but I think it was drugs.

They don't specify.

 

Meeting between the girl (Kelly), the DA (Jerry) and the CPS lady (Ruth). The DA is narrating.

 

>She nodded and didn’t say anything. I said, “Kelly, I want to tell you that you’re not in any trouble at all. Do you understand that?” Again, she nodded.

 

I continued, “However, we DO have a problem, because your Mom is in jail. She’s physically fine, but she isn’t able to care for you right now, which leaves us with the responsibility to take care of you. Do you understand that?”

 

She nodded and asked, “So, what happens to me now?”

 

Ruth started to speak, but I held up my hand and asked, “Kelly, let me reverse that question. What would you like to happen?”

 

She said, “I don’t know, but I don’t like living the way we do now. I don’t like Mom’s boyfriends, and I don’t like living in our trailer. The best food I get is lunches at school, and people always point at me and make fun of me. They laugh at my clothes, and they get mad at me because I make better grades than they do. It sucks.”

 

I asked, “One more question, Kelly -- how old are you?”

 

She said, “I’m almost ten!”

 

Ruth interrupted, saying, “Jerry, we suspect gang involvement, so we need to get her out of town quickly, for her protection.”<

[Frances Octavia Smith]

9 hours ago, watab kid said:

i did not realize she was french 

Where do you get that from?

 

Her name was Frances, but that's the only thing of "France" about her. She was born in Texas.

 

French?

[Hunting deer at night, legally]

What was he charged with? Shooting from the road? I know most places, these days, that is illegal.

 

Shooting a fake deer? Is that illegal?

 

It just seems like that would be easy to beat in court. Be like buying drugs from an undercover cop, but the "drugs" you bought were actually baking soda, not cocaine. I can see getting tried for "attempting to buy drugs", so maybe he was arrested for "attempted poaching"?

[Ba-Dump Tissssh - Memes]

[Hunting deer at night, legally]

Logic says that if I don't like Billy Bob, then Billy Bob also don't like me, so why would he let me borrow his truck?

[Hunting deer at night, legally]

2 hours ago, Badlands Bob #61228 said:

  The DNR take a pretty dim view of hunting the Govenor's deer at night

Where were you 25 years ago? I got in a massive argument with somebody online. He insisted that the deer that was on his property was his deer.

 

I told him that the cow that is on his property is his cow. And he can kill the cow in the middle of winter or in the middle of summer. He can kill it it three in the afternoon or 11:00 at night. He can kill it by sneaking up on it and slitting his throat or by shooting it with a machine gun. He can kill a boy cow, or a girl cow, or a baby cow. It does not matter. It is his cow.

 

The deer, on the other hand, can only be killed like 3 months out of the year. They can only be killed in a certain time of day. Normally you can't kill girl deer, and I don't think there is any time where you're allowed to shoot baby deer. You are only allowed to kill them certain ways, using certain types of implements. Why is this? Because they're not your deer. The deer belong to the state.

 

 

He just would not believe me.

[Can they do that?]

2 hours ago, DocWard said:

If mom were arrested for child endangerment, child abuse, drug charges,

I think it was drugs. I'll have to go back and reread the story to be sure, but I think it was drugs.

[Court reporter]

I am watching My Cousin Vinny. For those that are unaware, or possibly have forgotten, the public defender had a massive stuttering problem.

 

And it made me wonder how the court reporter would take that down.

 

"Ladies a-a-and g-g-g-gentlemen of the j-j-j-j-jury"

 

Would they actually put all those stammering consonants in there, or would they just write "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury"?

 

Added: or maybe the witness has an accent. Let's say the witness has a heavy German accent, and every word he says that starts with a w he pronounced it as if it starts with a v. Would the reporter write down what the witness actually said - "I vas goink to da house uf mine fodder" - or would he put it in actual English - "I was going to the house of my father"?

[Ba-Dump Tissssh - Memes]

[Can they do that?]

This is in a fiction story, and I know they can do whatever they want to in a fiction story.

 

I'm just curious if they could do this in real life.

 

We got a little girl. 9. No father in the picture. Just mama and her assorted boyfriends.

 

Then mama gets arrested. With no family to take her, little girl gets taken by child protective services. And they give her to Cindy and Dan as a foster kid.

 

Cindy and Dan and the little girl bond immediately, and Cindy and Dan want to adopt the little girl.

 

Can they do that? Can the state take and give the woman's kid away to another couple? I know they can take the kid away from the woman. Especially since the woman's in prison. But I thought the state had to keep her if they took her. Have her in CPS and put her in a foster home, yes. But adopt her out?

 

I can see that happening if the woman was dead, so the kid had no family nowhere, CPS could give her to this other couple that wants her.

 

And I suppose that if the mother had no objections to the child being adopted - gave up all rights to her - that would work.

 

But the state just taking her? Can they do that?

[Ba-Dump Tissssh - Memes]