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Alpo

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Posts posted by Alpo

    I need a joke explained

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

    Yeah I know

     

    Another board somebody posted a riddle, saying they would give the answer later.

     

    WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HIPPO AND A ZIPPO?

     

    And several people have guessed. None of the answers are particularly funny, but they all made sense. For example:

     

    What is the difference - the first letter

     

    What is the difference - one is heavy and the other is a little lighter

     

    See those two would actually be the correct answer to that riddle. Especially if it was a dad joke.

     

    But one guy's answer was --- 18.

     

    What is the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? 18

     

    That makes absolutely no sense to me. Does it make sense to anybody here? Or is this just an example of somebody throwing out some words?

    • Haha 1

    I wonder if he's doing it on purpose?

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

    2 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

    Never attribute it malice what is more  easily attributed to stupidity

    There is a lot of truth to this.

     

    Couple weeks ago I ordered a tin sign. It was shipped in a paper sack. You know because that's greener. Takes less material than a box. Mailman curled it up to fit it in the mailbox.

     

    So when I told them I wanted to send it back, I told them about the mailman bending it to put it in the mailbox and that if maybe they had put it in a box it would not be bent.

     

    The replacement arrived today. In a box. A very heavy box. And the very heavy stuff in the box shifted. The replacement sign is bent.

    • Haha 1
    • Sad 4

    I wonder if he's doing it on purpose?

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

    A month or so back we had a blizzard. Snowed for 2 days. Snow stayed here for a week.

     

    My house is on the south side of the street. Since the sun is in the southern hemisphere, my yard is in perpetual shadow during this time of year. So I had snow for a lot longer than most.

     

    But finally it has warmed up and the snow and ice is melting. And on the driveway, in front of my front door. Is an inch deep puddle of melt. The snow on the roof is also melting and dripping off, right in front of the door, in that puddle.

     

    A package is delivered. In a cardboard box. He sets it in that inch puddle of water, with water dripping off the roof on top of it. And it said there for about 15 minutes before I happen to check and saw the email that said my package had been delivered. Fortunately nothing was damaged because everything in the cardboard box was also wrapped in plastic.

     

    But I thought that was quite stupid. And I got in touch with the company that this came from and I complained.

     

    Ever since then, if it is at all possible to put my package in a puddle, it is sitting in a puddle. And today, although there was no rain so there was no puddle, my package weighed about 50 pounds.

     

    House front doors open inward. So if you have a screen door or a storm door on your house, it opens outward. It has to. I have a storm door. Instead of putting this heavy ass package up against the wall to the side of the door, he put it right in front of the door. I could not get the door open to go outside. I had to go out the back door and go around the house.

     

    So I can't decide if they have hired a moron, or if he's doing it deliberately because I complained about him putting the box in the puddle.

    • Like 2
    • Sad 4

    Useless fun fact-ish type stuff

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

    He dies in blood work? Guess I'll have to watch it again.

     

    Let me make sure I got the right movie in mind.

     

    We got this bad guy. Clint's a cop. He's been trying to catch a bad guy for a while. And the bad guy's enjoying the game of "catch me if You can".

     

    Then Clint has a heart attack. He needs a transplant. If he dies, the bad guy won't be able to play the game anymore. So the bad guy murders somebody that matches Clint's profile, so there will be a fresh heart for Clint.

     

    That's the movie, right?

    • Like 1

    The world is getting stranger and stranger

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

    35 minutes ago, Dantankerous said:

    Since I was born in America does that make me a Native-American?

     

    Or is that reserved only for Senator Elizabeth Warren?

    Anytime I see a block that says Native American, I check it. Last time I looked, since I was born in America I am native.

     

    According to my father-in-law, his mother was Cherokee. Which made him half, my wife 1/4, my daughter 1/8, and my grandchildren 1/16. I told my daughter and told her to tell her kids that if they ever are filling out a form and one of the blocks for race was American Indian, to check it.

    • Like 2

    The world is getting stranger and stranger

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

    There is (or was - I don't know if it's still in existence) a huge rodeo in Pendleton Oregon. Roundup.

     

    The first ever Roundup had three competitors for saddle bronc.

     

    The guy that wrote One flew over the cuckoo's nest wrote the novel about that first Roundup. There was a girl singing group - Cowboy Envy. They had a song about that first Roundup. THE BALLAD OF JONATHAN SPAIN.

     

    Their song seemed based mostly on the novel. So I did some research (yes I know - Alpo did research????? I look stuff up all the time) to see how close the novel and the song came to reality.

     

    While looking I came upon this black site. You know they have different types of websites. They have pro gun websites where they say how wonderful guns are. They have anti-gun websites where they say how terrible guns are. They have white supremacist websites where they say how wonderful white people are. They have homosexual websites where they say how wonderful homosexuals are. And they have black websites where they say how wonderful black people are and how terrible everybody else is.

     

    And this was a black website.

     

    Talking about the three competitors for saddlebronc, they said there was Jackson Sundown, a Native American. That term would probably have come to a shock to him, since I'm fairly certain he considered himself a Nez Pierce. There was George Fletcher, an African-American. Except that he wasn't. He was colored. Possibly negro. He wasn't black, because black was an offensive term back then. But he couldn't have been African-American because there was no such thing.

     

    And the third competitor was John Spain, a European-American.

     

    A what?? European-American???

     

    That website was the only time before or since that I have seen that idiotic term. I can't believe that any white guy would use that term to describe himself.

     

    In case you're interested, apparently prejudice reared its ugly head at the rodeo. The judges said that John Spain gave the best ride. The audience violently disagreed. They said that George Fletcher did. They raised so much hell that the judges agreed to let George ride again. And they still said Spain did best.

     

    Sundown lost control of his mount and went out of bounds - I believe it went up into the stands - and so was disqualified.

    • Like 2
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