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Alpo

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Posts posted by Alpo

    cocked and locked with an empty chamber

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

    Okay. Everybody get ready to make jokes about mushrooms. I had a dream.

     

    In my dream me and this other guy had gone shooting. After we were done he meets up with somebody somewhere and they have a discussion and then we go out in the desert. I'm just going along for the ride because the other guy is driving.

     

    Once we get out in the desert the other guy sells this third man 10,000 cartons of marijuana cigarettes. Yep, 20 to the pack, just like Marlboros. 10 packs to a carton, 10,000 cartons for a dollar a piece. And the third guy - the buyer - paid with a check. The second guy had those 10,000 cartons of reefer in the trunk of his Corvette.

     

    So now we're driving back, at a fairly high rate of speed through the desert, and go around a curve and there's a cop car. The other guy manages to avoid running into the cop car, but of course the cop comes over because we were speeding (are there speed limits off road??)

     

    And like every cop you hear about, the first thing he asks is do we have any guns. We both are carrying 1911s and J frame 38s. Both 1911s are cocked and locked, with loaded magazines, but empty chambers.

     

    Even while I was dreaming I realized that was stupid. The cop was kind of surprised.

     

    The check for the marijuana have been lying on the back seat (do Corvettes have back seats?) and the other guy had tried to hide this - I don't know why it was just a check said pay to the order of John Smith $10,000 - but this made the cop suspicious, and I woke up. It was morning.

    I wonder how the law reacts to trained fighters?

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted · Edited by Alpo
    otto

    You see that every once in a while in fiction. Sometimes it's something is stupid as, "I have to warn you that these hands are registered with the FBI as lethal weapons", but sometimes it's something as simple as a trained fighter getting into a fight. Putting the other guy (or guys) in the hospital.

     

    So there I am. I'm a heavyweight boxer, or a mixed martial artist, or a third degree black belt in some esoteric Oriental martial art or other. And I'm attacked.

     

    If the attacker ends up in ICU and "we're not sure he's going to make it", do they just consider it self-defense? Or do they say that because I'm so well trained and unarmed combat that I should not have fought back, and instead she has stood there and got the crap kicked out of me?

    Lets see some dogs

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

    Saw this in the Reader's Digest, many many years back.

     

    A bunch of army recruits in basic training. They are out on their first bivouac. They had discovered that many of them were from New York City, and sitting around the fire they were reminiscing about the things they miss, which mostly included food from various delis.

     

    This boy from Tennessee was just sitting there listening to them for a while, and finally he spoke up.

     

    "Fellers, I know 'bout bagels. My daddy had a pack. We used them to run deer. But what kind of dog is a lox?"

    • Like 1
    • Haha 1

    Oh! That's Cruel!

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

    I don't get it.

     

    I hear about stuff all this time but I've never experienced it.

     

    Lived in the South almost all my life. I have eaten at the Waffle House in Florida, Alabama, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Virginia, and Tennessee. All times of the day. I have never seen a fight. I have never seen anyone obviously drunk.

     

     

    Possibly otto is drunk. I listed seven States, and the only one he capitalized was Tennessee. I had to go back and fix the others. He capitalized house but did not capitalize waffle, he capitalized the word "states". And he capitalized North and South. Even if I didn't, he did.

    • Haha 3

    question about cooking with dried beans

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted · Edited by Alpo
    otto

    3 hours ago, Ozark Huckleberry said:

    Early Christmas present?

    Sorta. Lady down the street was givingGIVEN some food from the food Bank and this was the stuff that she didn't want and would I like to have it.

     

    Yeah, except for the can of green peas and the three cans of garbanzo beans. I have eaten those before and definitely do not like them.

     

    There were a couple of things I don't know what to do with - tomato sauce. My recipes use tomato paste and they use canned tomatoes but I've never used tomato sauce. I seem to recall reading one time that if your recipe calls for a 6 oz can of paste you could use a 12 oz can of sauce, so that seems to mean that sauce is diluted paste (or paste is condensed sauce). But it's an 8 ounce can which would make it a 4 oz can of paste and my recipes use 6 oz cans so - I'm not sure what to do with this.

     

    And there was a can of salmon. As I mentioned in the salmon thread last week, the only time I have had salmon was as salmon croquettes in the Junior High School lunchroom. Not sure what to do with it.

     

    And the dried beans which I plan on using, I just need to figure out how.

    • Like 1

    question about cooking with dried beans

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

    I was given a pound of dried pintos. I'm attempting to figure out what the equivalent 15 ounce can would be from this pound of beans.

     

    I looked here

    https://www.chefsresource.com/faq/how-much-do-beans-expand-when-cooked/

     

    Where it says

    The answer: Beans approximately double in size when cooked. THAT SOUNDS LIKE I WILL GET TWO 1 POUND CANS

     

    But then further down the page it says

    6. How much cooked beans can you expect from a certain amount of dry beans?

    As a general guide, the volume of cooked beans will be approximately three times the volume of the dry beans. THAT SOUNDS LIKE I WOULD GET THREE 1 POUND CANS.

     

    So at the top of the page it says twice as big and then halfway down the page it says three times as much.

     

    I'm confused.

     

    I'm used to cooking with that standard 1 pound (only 15 ounces because shrinkflation) can of beans. Never tried dry beans.

     

    Help.

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