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Subdeacon Joe

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Posts posted by Subdeacon Joe

    Of Viands and Victuals

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

    3 hours ago, Linn Keller, SASS 27332, BOLD 103 said:

    == A FAST SNACK ==

    Peenie Bubber an' Jelly has long been a standby.

    Bacon is a perennial favorite.

    Here's what I just made (and devoured):

    Bread, slices, 2 each

    Peanut butter, your choice of the brand and texture. I prefer crunchy.

    Jelly, your choice. My wife prefers Concord grape exclusively (probably because of her strawberry allergy)

    (this is a true anaphylaxis, it'll-kill-you reaction)

    Bacon, precooked, four slices, torn in half

    Prepare the sandwich as you prefer: half the slice with peanut butter, half with jelly, fold over; or one slice with peanut butter, the other slice with jelly, lay together.

    Microwave precooked bacon for 30 seconds.

    Add bacon to sandwich and close.

    The ubiquitous PB&J is wonderfully versatile and can employ honey in lieu of jelly, or honey and cinnamon.

    Powdered chocolate milk mix can be added as well, or chocolate syrup.

    Sliced bananas, I understand, were a favorite addition to Elvis Presley's PB&Js.

    Its many combinations and permutations are too numerous to discuss here.

    I found PB&J with bacon to be very much to my taste!

     

     

    That does sound good.   Concord Grape Jelly....I  don't think I had it until I was in my teens.  Grew up with pomegranate jelly,  apricot jam, mixed stone fruit jam, and sometimes strawberry jam that mom made.  When/if we ran out we bought a 3pound can of Empress brand Apricot Jam.

     

    I bet apricot jam or orange marmalade would be good on your PB&J.

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    Ba-Dump Tissssh - Memes

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

    On 5/1/2024 at 9:12 AM, Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 said:

     

     

    RIFLE RANGE!  I found out over the years that I shot better when I went out and got drunk the night before Qualification Day. Muscles were more relaxed.

     

    Screenshot_20220910-115443-200.thumb.png.da1ce72efb54e91c6a348d8d264de57c.png

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    It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

    Reading the news reminds me of my favorite HL Mencken quote (circa 1925):

    “Here, more than anywhere else that I know of or have heard of, the daily panorama of human existence, of private and communal folly – the unending procession of governmental extortions and chicaneries, of commercial brigandages and throat-slittings, of theological buffooneries, or aesthetic ribaldries, of legal swindles and harlotries, of miscellaneous rogueries, villainies, imbecilities, grotesqueries, and extravagances – is so inordinately gross and preposterous, so perfectly brought up to the highest conceivable amperage, so steadily enriched with an almost fabulous daring and originality, that only the man who was born with a petrified diaphragm can fail to laugh himself to sleep every night, and to awake every morning with all the eager, unflagging expectation of a Sunday-school superintendent touring the Paris peep-shows.”

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    Of Viands and Victuals

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

    At first glance this seems weird, and to my taste it's way under seasoned.  But if you look at some of the "traditional" pasta sauces it's not that far off.  Think about the ingredients in catsup.  Yes, sweeter, and fewer seasonings, but with some tweaking it's a passable base.

     

    Pasta Sauce.jpg

    It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

     

    • An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars. 

    • A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

    • A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

    • An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

    • Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

    • A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

    • Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

    • A question mark walks into a bar?

    • A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

    • Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

    • A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

    • A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

    • Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

    • A synonym strolls into a tavern. 

    • At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

    • A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

    • Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

    • A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

    • An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

    • The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

    • A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

    • The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

    • A dyslexic walks into a bra.

    • A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

    • A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

    • A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

    • A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

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    It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

    15 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

    You don’t have this?

     

     

    895C7143-03C5-476B-88A8-031194D6C088.jpeg

     

     

    I had a ~12 oz. version of that that I used at reenactments.  One evening, Friday set up, I got there early, got my tent set, got the fire area cleared, pit dug, and fire going for my evening meal.  A young man showed up - he had worked a graveyard shift and driven from Bakersfield to Camp Meeker (near Jenner) in northern CA.  He was dog tired, smelled my coffee, asked if he could have a cup.  So I brewed one for him, even scrapped some sugar from the piloncillo for him.  I don't think he had every had a cup of COFFEE, just Starbucks stuff.  His eyes flew wide open..."That's STRONG!"  I took the cup, sipped, "No, that's just coffee, about normal strength."

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    Motorcycles

    in SASS Wire Saloon

    Posted

    1 hour ago, Blackwater 53393 said:

    I’d like to see that thing run!  I’d be interested to see how it turns..

     

     

    Probably not well:

     

    "The tractor-cycle is a motorcycle equipped with a belt instead of the conventional wheels. Even though it looks kind of unstable standing on its belt, the "tractor-cycle" is said to have superior climbing and crossing capabilities compared to a normal motorcycle. It was invented in 1938 by J. Lehaitre in Paris, France.

    Here's the original text describing this unusual machine from Modern Mechanix, issue: February, 1938 :

    "Belt Drive Replaces Wheels On Novel Motorcycle

    DEVELOPED primarily for operation over rough ground, a new type of motorcycle invented by J. Lehaitre, of Paris, France, features a tractor-type drive belt as its means of locomotion in place of conventional wheels. Named the “tractor-cycle” by the inventor, the novel vehicle is said to be superior to an ordinary motorcycle in its ability to climb steep and rough grades, although its speed on level ground is limited to about 25 m.p.h. Steering is accomplished by handlebars which control a sideways motion of the drive belt.

    The tractor-cycle could easily be adapted for military use, as depicted on the cover of this issue by a Modern Mechanix artist. Fitted with a machine gun, the cycle could be used by dispatch riders or entire military units to travel over shell-torn terrain. "







    [Source: Modern Machanix]

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