Subdeacon Joe
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Posts posted by Subdeacon Joe
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14 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:
A head without a body floats into a bar.
Hovering above a seat, the head orders a whiskey.
The bartender obliges, and the head slurps it up.
Poof! The head suddenly sprouts a torso!
The head (now a guy with a torso) orders another, “and make it a double!”
The bartender pours a stiff one and the head-guy slurps it up.
Poof! The torso now has two arms!
Again, the head (now more of a person) asks for another drink.
The bartender pour the drink, and the guy tosses it back.
Poof! The former head sprouts two legs!
He asks the barkeep for one last whiskey, and drinks it down.
As soon as he’s finished the drink, poof! He disappears entirely.
The bartender remarks to those who have now gathered around, “he should have quit when he was ahead.”
5 free drinks.
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On 6/6/2024 at 3:35 AM, Alpo said:
You do that anyhow, when you eat any liquid. Bowl of cereal. Bowl of soup. Stew. Chili. Oatmeal.
You take your clean spoon and you stick it in the food and you pick up a spoonful and you stick it in your mouth. Getting your mouth germs all over your spoon. Then you stick it back in the bowl of food, getting your mouth germs all mixed up in the liquid in the bowl. And the more you eat, the more you stick your spoon in your mouth getting it dirty, and the more you stick your dirty spoon back in your bowl getting your bowl full of mouth germs.
But you aren't putting it back in the fridge to ferment overnight, taking a bite the next day, putting it back in the fridge with more contamination to again ferment overnight, and doing it several times.
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This has possibilities.
MAHOGANY SAUCE
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1/2 cup sugar
11/2 cups Welch's Welchade Grape Drink
1 tablespoon instant coffee
1/4 cup butter or margarine
1/4 cup rum
In a saucepan, combine cornstarch and sugar. Gradually stir in grape drink and instant coffee. Add butter and cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until sauce bubbles and thickens. Cool slightly. Stir in rum and serve warm. Spoon over ice cream, peaches or cake squares. Yield: 2 cups.
I'm thinking, reduce the corn starch, reduce it more, and use as a glaze on grilled meat or baked ham.
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6 hours ago, Alpo said:
How about cereal bowls?
You eat your cereal with a fork?
Even I'm not that weird.
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In the FB group where I found this one of the people made it and posted photos. Cut it looked like meatloaf. She said that it was pretty good.
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When John Wayne informed Bruce Dern that Dern's character would shoot Wayne's in "The Cowboys" (1972), he told Dern that audiences would hate him for it. Dern responded by saying, "Yeah, but they'll sure love me in Berkeley." Shortly after the film's release, Dern received death threats for his character shooting Wayne in the back.
"I remember the day I shot John Wayne in 'The Cowboys.' He had never had a bullet hit put on him. Never! And he leaned into me and said, 'Is this gonna hurt?' And I said, 'Absolutely it’s gonna hurt! You should get one of those big USC Marching Band Roman shields that you put on the front of you, ’cause they’re gonna blow a hole in your chest!' And he knew that, but he’d never had it done. Mark Rydell was the director, and we decided that the only way the scene could really work for an audience is if Wayne was surprised. So unbeknownst to him, we put a bullet hit in the back of his jacket. And I shot him in the back the first shot. And he did not know that was gonna happen. He played it like a pro, went all the way through it and everything, got up, and told Mark Rydell and I we were both pr!cks."
"(Wayne) was just great to me. He did something to me that was the most welcoming, inviting thing in my career. He said to me on the first day, 'I want you to do me a favor.' I said, 'Yessir?' He said, 'I want you to pick on me all day, every day, and be absolutely careless with your attitude toward me, so that these little kids that are scared sh!tless of me, if you can treat me like that, then what might you do to them?' And it worked! And had he not given me that blessing, so to speak, I’d have backed off a lot. But I didn’t." (IMDb/AV Club)
Happy Birthday, Bruce Dern!
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Few people know that before he was famous, the late Johnny Cash tried a chip full of salsa served backstage in Possumneck, Mississippi that changed his life. It was spicy and tangy and smoky and so good that he just couldn't get it off of his mind. Unfortunately, there was no jar, no label.
Now, there have been rumors that Johnny had kind of an addictive personality. He would sometimes disappear for days on end. People attributed it to drugs or alcohol. The truth is that he would roam the country searching for the special hot sauce of his dreams. He heard rumors and whispers of the deadly condiment and followed them to countless dead ends. He stopped at every Tex Mex restaurant, truck stop, and Mexican grocery in the South without finding what he sought.
One day he heard tell of an old woman, a witch down in the Mayan peninsula in Mexico whom it was said, made the best salsa in the world! He cancelled his next five gigs and headed south. He rode donkeys, Jeeps and horse drawn wagons. He traversed deserts, mountains and jungles before finally reaching the fabled village where the old bruja lived.
He found and entered the old woman's hut. As luck would have it, she was one of his first big fans, having caught one of his shows at that Holiday Inn in Possumneck, Mississippi while attending a Salsa Aficionado convention where one of her jars of salsa mysteriously disappeared and somehow made its way to a bowl backstage. She consented to sharing her secret recipe with him only after he agreed to write a song for her.
She shared the special Tomatillos grown in Mayan soil. She gave him the seeds from a rare Mexican pepper and showed him the special pan with a rounded bottom, similar to those used in the Far East that she would use to simmer "la lima" or "lime," the source of the salsa's tanginess. He asked her if he could just use his regular flat-bottomed pan but she insisted that he must use the round-bottomed pan.
From this came the inspiration for the lyrics: "Because you're Mayan, I'll wok the lime!"
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3 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:
Sweetbreads, pancreas, is no where near that large. It looked to me like suet when he was cutting it. But from there it made no sense if it was suet. I have never cooked suet though. I does match the appearance of sweetbreads, just huge.
There had to be more food than that from a 100kg bull dressed.
As was told to me, shawarma is best if the cook is not Russian.
I had thought of suet, but it didn't look firm enough, hence going to organs or glands. Also that's one heck of a big chunk of suet, if that's what it is.
I think they are Azerbaijani.
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18 minutes ago, Calamity Kris said:
Please pardon my ignorance. In the second half of the video, he is seen chopping up something and preparing it to boil. What is 0he chopping up?
Ignorance is correctable, usually by asking questions.
My guess, and it's only a guess, is sweetbreads.
It's not liver, heart, tripe, brain, or kidney. So that's about the only other thing I can think of.
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3 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:
.............. at least one of them is cooked .....
And the other is overcooked.
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Ba-Dump Tissssh - Memes
in SASS Wire Saloon
Posted