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  1. I am almost sure I should hang my head in shame and that I should wear a (paper) grocery sack over my head when in decent company! After re-enacting as Brother William, calligrapher and scribe and Cistercian monk of the 10th century, I write out of habit in a calligraphic font. This means I could never make a living robbing banks ... a holdup note would be instantly recognized! I'm told I still have a Suth'n accent (I can't hear it but apparently these Northern Ohio Yankees can) so I can't make a living as an obscene phone caller! Went to Urgent Care last night and was told among other things to lose weight, stop smoking, stop drinking and stop wenching ... I smoked once, as a five year old I swiped one of Pappy's Marsh Wheeling stogies and a Lucifer match and disappeared around the corner of the garage ... I staggered back the color of spring grass. Only time I ever smoked. Never since. Granddad, rest his soul, was a moonshiner and a moonrunner ... and I don't drink. As far as wenching ... was I to call my wife a wench, my face would be suddenly big and round and the exact shape of her hard swung frying pan! Not only have I failed as a bank robber and as an obscene phone caller, I've failed in stopping smoking, drinking and wenching!
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