"Planetary Defense, Guardian Aimless speaking, Sir!"
"Guardian, this is the Deep Space Observation site! We have indications that the Romulans are about to land at Site Bravo-Two-Six. I've tried calling the President, but he's on vacation. The Veep is unavailable! I tried calling the Secretary of Defense, but he's in the ICU. Who's your duty officer?"
"Uh, that'd be 2LT Jones. Just a minute an' I'll get him."
(Pause) "Second Lieutenant Jones, here. You told Aimless the Romulans are about to land at Site Bravo-Two-Six? I'm not sure where that is...Wait, I'll check my map!"
(Deep breath on the other end of the line.) "Say, lieutenant, who's minding the store?"
"Store? What store?"