OK, I'm Officially Old

[Calamity Kris]

I stopped by Target after work today to pick up some prescriptions.  Just inside the first door, a mother was buckling her two young sons into one of those race-car shopping carts.  The older one looked up at me and waved "Hi".  I waved and said hi back to him.  He turns to his mom and said "That old grandma just said hi to me." I giggled and the  mother told him "you shouldn't say things like that".  She then apologized to me. I said "I'm not a grandma but that's OK"and walked into the store.  When I got to the pharmacy counter, I recounted the story to the pharmacist and his assistant.  We all had a good laugh.  

[Subdeacon Joe]

The first time I felt old was just after I turned 18. I was working at a Saturday matinee at the Avo Theater. A girl, maybe about 7 years old, came up to me and said, "Excuse me,  sir, can you please tell me where the payphone is?"

 

"Sir."

At the ripe old age of 18 I  became "sir."  

 

Sir was for men my dad's age and older. 

[Blackwater 53393]

Every once in a while, someone addresses me as “boy”! 
 

I’ve thanked a few of them recently!! 🤣

[Eyesa Horg]

Yup, I became a Sir at about the same age 😊. 

I got in a car accident when I was 30, when the cops got there they went to kids in the front vehicle that I rear ended! They refered to me in the story as the "old guy". Guess I'd be considered a "geezer" now 😁.

Oh by the way, they got the ticket and their insurance payed for a frontend for my year old truck!

Edited Wednesday at 09:59 PM by Eyesa Horg
Missing word!

[J-BAR #18287]

Celebrating July 4, 2014, with friends and their grandsons.  The boys, ages 5 and 8, asked me how old I was, and I told them "70".  The 8- year old looked at me, frowned, and said, "You should be dead by now, right?"  I began laughing and I'm still laughing at age 82!

[Chantry]

I knew I was in trouble when police officers, doctors and nurses all looked like freshmen in high school.

 

Getting older is much like puberty, you wake up one morning thinking I didn't know hair grew there.

 

(And at 57, I realize I trend younger than most here)

[Blackwater 53393]

Just now, Chantry said:

I knew I was in trouble when police officers, doctors and nurses all looked like freshmen in high school.

 

Getting older is much like puberty, you wake up one morning thinking I didn't know hair grew there.

 

(And at 57, I realize I trend younger than most here)

YOU DON’T LOSE HAIR!!

 

it just migrates to places where you don’t need or want it!  🤨

[Horace Patootie, SASS #35798]

The problem with hair is; when you're young, you don't have it where you want it and when you're old, it's everywhere that you don't want it.

Horace

[H. K. Uriah, SASS #74619]

I officially become old on October 17th of this year, when I turn 60.  I have been getting random senior citizens discounts for about 10 years.

[Calamity Kris]

The pharmacist told me a story.  His family threw a birthday party at a restaurant for him.  The little boy in the booth behind him asked how old he was.  The pharmacist said "30".  The little boy got wide eyed and said "wwwooooooooooowwwwww"

[Rye Miles #13621]

When all the young pretty girls call you honey, you know you’re old.🙄

[Dantankerous]

I always figured that "old" had some graduating ages involved.

 

AARP starts sending their crap in the mail when you're ready to turn 50. 

 

At age 55 you can move into a retirement facility.

 

At age 59 1/2, collect money from qualified retirement accounts.

 

60 just sounds a lot older than 50.

 

Age 62 one can begin collecting Social Security. 

 

65, medicare mandate is here.

 

72 to 75, age dependent is RMDs.

 

After that, just keep celebrating every day. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

1 hour ago, Dantankerous said:

I always figured that "old" had some graduating ages involved.

 

AARP starts sending their crap in the mail when you're ready to turn 50. 

 

At age 55 you can move into a retirement facility.

 

At age 59 1/2, collect money from qualified retirement accounts.

 

60 just sounds a lot older than 50.

 

Age 62 one can begin collecting Social Security. 

 

65, medicare mandate is here.

 

72 to 75, age dependent is RMDs.

 

After that, just keep celebrating every day. 

I'm 72, and am striving to KEEP getting older as long as I can.

[Cypress Sun]

This is the exact moment I knew I was old.

 

My youngest brother, who is 11 years my junior, came to visit me and we went to get some beer. While we were at the store, a cute girl came up and asked "Excuse me Sir, can I ask what your cute son's name is"? I really didn't know what to say so I just said "Matt".

 

 

Edited Thursday at 12:46 AM by Cypress Sun

[Highwall]

I'm 75 and if your lower back holds up you just might make it to the next Senior level.

 

[Blackwater 53393]

2 minutes ago, Highwall said:

I'm 75 and if your lower back holds up you just might make it to the next Senior level.

 

X-rays of my lower back look like some kid left his Erector Set in there.

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

I know I'm olde 'cause for the last year,and a bit, I've been receiving the "olde age pension" since my 68th birthday.

[Highwall]

You now you are old when you open your tool box and a spider is there to defend it's territory.😳

[John Kloehr]

Was at a class, perhaps more of a workshop, this weekend for Personal Protection In The Home. Gave in to admitting to a friend (the instructor) I need to get bifocals. Had to keep flipping between readers for the book and distance glasses for the projection screen. Why have I not got them until new? "I don't want to look old!"

 

She told me "Too late." Ordered them today. Will get them in a couple weeks assuming I live that long.

[J-BAR #18287]

43 minutes ago, John Kloehr said:

Was at a class, perhaps more of a workshop, this weekend for Personal Protection In The Home. Gave in to admitting to a friend (the instructor) I need to get bifocals. Had to keep flipping between readers for the book and distance glasses for the projection screen. Why have I not got them until new? "I don't want to look old!"

 

She told me "Too late." Ordered them today. Will get them in a couple weeks assuming I live that long.

About 1990, age about 46, fly fishing for McLoud rainbow trout in Crane Creek, Missouri.  Sunset, my pupils dilated, lost the pinhole camera effect, and had to quit fishing because I could not see well enough to tie a size 20 midge on a 1 lb. tippet.

 

I wore my first pair of bifocals two weeks later.

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

There IS a way to stop growing older!

But I don't personally recommend it.

 

Mind you, a younger girl friend will help!

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

1 hour ago, John Kloehr said:

Was at a class, perhaps more of a workshop, this weekend for Personal Protection In The Home. Gave in to admitting to a friend (the instructor) I need to get bifocals. Had to keep flipping between readers for the book and distance glasses for the projection screen. Why have I not got them until new? "I don't want to look old!"

 

She told me "Too late." Ordered them today. Will get them in a couple weeks assuming I live that long.

 

1 hour ago, J-BAR #18287 said:

About 1990, age about 46, fly fishing for McLoud rainbow trout in Crane Creek, Missouri.  Sunset, my pupils dilated, lost the pinhole camera effect, and had to quit fishing because I could not see well enough to tie a size 20 midge on a 1 lb. tippet.

 

I wore my first pair of bifocals two weeks later.

I've worn glasses since 7th Grade. I first got Contact Lenses at 30. I started having the "far or near but not both" problem in my mid 40s. After a few years of carrying Reading glasses, I started cheating. I got my Optometrist, (who's also a shooter), to prescribe contacts a power lower for distance than was optimal. I can see distance well enough, but unless I'm reading a book or medicine bottles, I can see close up fine too. I can read okay, it's just a book requires more attention. 

[Barry Sloe]

I was recently filling out an application for my better half and myself. I got to the part for "age" and I told her - oh, you are going to be a Grand Dame for this match. I definitely got the evil eye!

 

BS

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

13 hours ago, H. K. Uriah, SASS #74619 said:

I officially become old on October 17th of this year, when I turn 60.  I have been getting random senior citizens discounts for about 10 years.

(60!  Dang snot-nose kid!)

 

My son is 61 and my daughter is 59.  I have socks older than 60!

[Gracos Kid]

I'm frequently getting mail wanting me to pre-pay for cremation or burial, and more often trying to sell me hearing aids.......

[Linn Keller, SASS 27332, BOLD 103]

It was a signal day indeed when I got my first set of bifocals.
I looked at my wrist watch and thought "Whoa! I can actually READ this again!"
I was doing home health nursing in my late 40s/early 50s, taking care of a special needs child (ventilator dependent since birth, mainstreamed into a regular school. 

I rode the school bus with him, and when an adult rides the bus, kids talk.
I heard a boy a few seats back say "I dunno. Some ooold guy!"
 

[Rye Miles #13621]

I remember sometime in my 40’s I was reading the local rag paper and I thought they must be trying to save money because the print was getting smaller and smaller. Yea I bought some cheater glasses and I’ve been using them ever since! 

[Brock]

For me, "I'm old" came when I found out I was old than POTUS.

[PaulH]

People told me 'You'll feel old when you turn 40'. I didn't. 

Then they told me 'You'll fell old when you turn 50.' I didn't then, either. 

I did start to feel old, though, when my daughter turned 21🙂. (I was 51 then.)

But  I still woke up above ground, so I'm happy for that.

[Cypress Sun]

While taking my dog out to do his business, I noticed that there was some paper with writing on it in it.

I had to go in and get my glasses...I can't read crap without my glasses on

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stolen from a comidian.

[Alpo]

Not me. My father.

 

We go to the golf course, he pops the trunk then tells me to go get a cart and put the bags in it and bring it up to the clubhouse. And he walks over. 

 

I go get the cart, put the bags in it, shut the lid, and drive up to the clubhouse. I go in and start to sign in and the lady behind the counter says, "it's okay, your grandfather already signed you in".

 

I was around 22 so he was around 55. "Your grandfather". I gave him grief about that for a while.

[Rev Willy Dunkum, SASS # 61027]

My grandmother once said she knew she was old when all her kids were in their 60's.  Actually when she said it they were all in their 70's...  

[Hashknife Cowboy]

I honestly don't believe i'm old, just high mileage. But I do remember seeing the Eagles open for Linda Ronstadt.....

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

1 hour ago, Hashknife Cowboy said:

I honestly don't believe i'm old, just high mileage.

Indiana Jones said it best, "It's not the years, it's the mileage." Of course, in my case anyway, it's a combination of the two.

[Highwall]

41 minutes ago, Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 said:

Indiana Jones said it best, "It's not the years, it's the mileage." Of course, in my case anyway, it's a combination of the two.

It's not the years of. mileage, it's the years of marriage! LOL