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Posted

Help! My dog just swallowed some coins!

 

 

I'm monitoring him, but there's still no change.

  • Like 4
Posted

What does a baby computer call his father?

 

 Data.

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Posted

RIP boiling water,

 

 

 you will be mist.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

I don't make jokes about vegans.......

 

 

I feel it would be tasteless.

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Posted

How many overthinkers does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

Wait… should we even change it? What if darkness has a lesson for us?

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Posted (edited)

Who were the five most constipated men in the Bible?

Cain - He wasn't Abel.

King David - Heaven and Earth couldn't move him.

King Solomon - He sat on the throne for 40 years.

Moses - He took two tablets and went up on the mountain.

And Noah - He spent 40 days and 40 nights in the Ark, and passed nothing but water.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Buckshot Bear
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Posted

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

All they said was “ Bach, Bach, Bach….”

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Posted

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way

 

 

Maybe a career as a Tour Guide wasn’t the right choice.

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Posted

What do you call an Irishman who’s constantly bumping into and bouncing off things?

 

 

Rick O’Shea

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Posted

If you receive an E-mail and in the subject box it says Knock Knock. Do not open it as it’s from the Jehovah’s Witness’s working from home.

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Posted

Don't you just hate it when people answer their own questions?

 

I do.

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Posted

Why was the barista wearing a mask?


It was a coughy filter.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

The early bird gets the worm

 

but the second mouse gets the cheese.

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Posted

It was raining cats and dogs

 

and I almost stepped in a poodle

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Posted

I tried stand up comedy once but I got exhausted and had to sit down 

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Posted

I'm having a garage sale this weekend!
Please don't come if I've ever borrowed anything from you. 🤠

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Posted

image.thumb.png.b0c20216d6cc79ab941a5ca84f26e1a7.png

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Posted

What type of doctor has the most no-show appointments?

 

 

Their patients tend to be flaky.

Posted
34 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

What type of doctor has the most no-show appointments?

 

 

Their patients tend to be flaky.

Did you forget the punchline?

 

Anyway, I'm sure it is a statistical problem, could be:

  • Optometrist, patients could not see showing up
  • Anestheioslogist, patients could not wake up in time
  • Dermatologist, patients made rash decisions when scheduling
  • Orthoedist, patients considered the appointment "humerous" rather than taking it seriously 
  • Thanks 1
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