Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted January 27 Posted January 27 (edited) 2 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said: It's gonna be one very bad vowel movement. If there is no vowel movement, would that spell "cnstptn" ? Edited January 27 by Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 1 5 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 27 Author Posted January 27 1 hour ago, Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 said: If there is no vowel movement, would that spell "cnstptn" ? Lucky it wasn't lego, or it would be #$%^&^$% bricks! 5 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 27 Posted January 27 Why does Donald Duck have feathers on his butt. It covers his quack. 2 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 27 Posted January 27 ME to wife: I’ve been wearing this for ten years, it still fits. WIFE: It’s a scarf! 4 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 28 Posted January 28 Three mates have a night out. Two walk into a bar. The third guy ducks. 2 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 29 Author Posted January 29 What ever happened to that famous Italian chef? He pasta away. May his soul rest in pizza! 5 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 29 Author Posted January 29 (edited) My grandfather died peacefully after drinking a gallon of varnish. It was a slow way to go, but he had a beautiful finish. Edited January 29 by Buckshot Bear 2 2 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 29 Author Posted January 29 I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. 4 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 29 Author Posted January 29 I’ve finally started investing in herbs. My thyme has come. 3 3 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 29 Author Posted January 29 I’ll never forget my grandfather’s last words. “Don’t point that the thing at me ya idiot, point it at the deer! 4 Quote
Rye Miles #13621 Posted January 29 Posted January 29 Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? He thought he might have a hole in one 3 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 30 Author Posted January 30 ME to wife: I’ve been wearing this for ten years, it still fits! WIFE: It’s a scarf! 1 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 30 Posted January 30 Garbagemen don't get any training. They have to pick up things as they go along. 3 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 30 Posted January 30 What does a grape say when it gets stepped on? Nothing, it just makes a little wine. 3 2 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 30 Posted January 30 I dated this stunning girl once. She was a communist, originally from from China, but I met her while working in Switzerland. We lived in Dennark first then moved to Turkey and went on holiday in Canada. Then she cheated on me. I was devastated, but I really should have known better There had been a lot of red flags 3 4 1 Quote
Sedalia Dave Posted January 30 Posted January 30 What's the difference between virgin olive oil and extra virgin olive oil? Uglier olives 3 6 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 31 Author Posted January 31 What do midwives do? They help people out 3 4 Quote
Alpo Posted January 31 Posted January 31 49 minutes ago, Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L said: If they were accompanied by the usual noxious gases when you passed them, it is no wonder the street was empty. 2 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 31 Posted January 31 I pawned my mother's scrabble tiles. I left her an IOU. 1 3 Quote
Rooster Ron Wayne Posted January 31 Posted January 31 Pete and Repete was jumping on the bed. Pete fell off and bumped his head. Who is left ? ( Repete ) Pete and Repete was jumping on the bed . Pete fell off and bumped his head. Who is left ? ( REPETE ! ) Pete and Repete was jumping on the bed. Pete fell off and bumped his head. Who is left ? ( Repete ) 1 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 31 Posted January 31 I turned down a job that would have paid me with vegetables. The celery was unacceptable. 3 1 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted February 1 Posted February 1 Where is the worst place to hide in a hospital? The ICU. 2 2 Quote
Rye Miles #13621 Posted February 1 Posted February 1 I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger…. Then it hit me! 2 1 Quote
Rye Miles #13621 Posted February 1 Posted February 1 A termite walks in a bar and asks, “ Is the bar tender here”? 2 Quote
Shepherd Book Posted February 2 Posted February 2 (edited) 11 hours ago, Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L said: The wife says "Because it was too chili...." SB Edited February 2 by Shepherd Book 1 1 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted February 3 Author Posted February 3 Told my wife I was going to see the doctor. She said “which doctor?” I said, “no, a regular one.” 2 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted February 3 Author Posted February 3 I want to buy a new boomerang. But how can I get rid of the old one? 2 Quote
Rip Snorter Posted February 3 Posted February 3 6 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said: I want to buy a new boomerang. But how can I get rid of the old one? Let them flight it out? 1 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted February 3 Posted February 3 What do you call a lawyer who becomes a priest? Father in law. 1 2 1 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted February 4 Author Posted February 4 Why can't men run fast in a dress? Too much drag. 1 4 Quote
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