Buckshot Bear Posted January 18 Author Posted January 18 “Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent. 2 1 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 18 Author Posted January 18 just watched a programme about beavers, and you know what it was the best dam programme I’ve ever seen. 1 2 Quote
Rye Miles #13621 Posted January 18 Posted January 18 Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field! 2 Quote
Rye Miles #13621 Posted January 18 Posted January 18 Did you hear about the wig thief who escaped from prison? Police are combing the area to find him. 2 Quote
John Kloehr Posted January 19 Posted January 19 3 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said: just watched a programme about beavers, and you know what it was the best dam programme I’ve ever seen. Well, they are the best dam builders. BTW, you spell funny. 1 2 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 19 Author Posted January 19 A Gen Z kid and a boomer walk into a bar They sit down and the Gen Z kid orders from the gluten free vegan menu and the boomer orders a T-Bone steak. They start chatting and the Gen Z kid says that social justice issues are the biggest problem facing the world, and that the white supremacist patriarchy is a plague on society. > The boomer waves this off and says the kids these days are just too sensitive, and that he fought for civil rights in the sixties and did his part. They go back and forth on this for a while, and finally the Gen Z kid says, "we're just not gonna settle this. We don't see eye to eye. You're too old and out of touch and I'm too young and inexperienced. What we need to do is ask a Millennial with a PhD in sociology for their opinion." The boomer says, "that's a great idea!" And yells, "HEY BARTENDER, C'MERE!" 1 6 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 19 Author Posted January 19 47 minutes ago, John Kloehr said: just watched a programme about beavers, and you know what it was the best dam programme I’ve ever seen. Well, they are the best dam builders. 47 minutes ago, John Kloehr said: BTW, you spell funny. Not funny, just correctly 2 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 19 Author Posted January 19 What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1 2 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 20 Author Posted January 20 My kid came out to me as trans and asked if I still accepted them for who they are. I told them quite clearly that I loved them no matter what they chose. I was being transparent. 1 3 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 21 Author Posted January 21 Did you hear about the baguette at the zoo? It was bread in captivity. 1 2 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 21 Author Posted January 21 Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired. 1 2 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 22 Author Posted January 22 Did you hear about the two baked beans that hitchhiked around Australia? They ended up in Cairns. 1 1 Quote
Alpo Posted January 22 Posted January 22 1 hour ago, Buckshot Bear said: Did you hear about the two baked beans that hitchhiked around Australia? They ended up in Cairns. That's one of them - if you don't speak Aussie it doesn't make sense - jokes. According to the pronunciation thing on wiki, that town - which looks like it should be pronounced carens - sounds like multiple Barbie boyfriends. Kens. 2 Quote
John Kloehr Posted January 22 Posted January 22 25 minutes ago, Alpo said: That's one of them - if you don't speak Aussie it doesn't make sense - jokes. According to the pronunciation thing on wiki, that town - which looks like it should be pronounced carens - sounds like multiple Barbie boyfriends. Kens. From AI: " Cairns (the Australian city) is generally pronounced as one syllable, sounding like "Kanz" (rhymes with "fans"), with the 'r' being silent and the 's' having a 'z' sound, though some locals and older speakers might say "Cair-nz" or "Care-nz". Think of it like "cans," but with a slightly longer 'a' sound as in "hair," dropping the 'r' sound. " So there should be a lot more beans in there to keep them company, plus the joke puts them in separate "cans" / "Cairns"), they would both fit in one but that would completely ruin an otherwise weak joke. But then, my heritage is German, not Aussie. Oh, Now you want a German joke? Sorry, we don't joke, we are German. 1 1 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 22 Author Posted January 22 54 minutes ago, John Kloehr said: From AI: " Cairns (the Australian city) is generally pronounced as one syllable, sounding like "Kanz" (rhymes with "fans"), with the 'r' being silent and the 's' having a 'z' sound, though some locals and older speakers might say "Cair-nz" or "Care-nz". Think of it like "cans," but with a slightly longer 'a' sound as in "hair," dropping the 'r' sound. " So there should be a lot more beans in there to keep them company, plus the joke puts them in separate "cans" / "Cairns"), they would both fit in one but that would completely ruin an otherwise weak joke. But then, my heritage is German, not Aussie. Oh, Now you want a German joke? Sorry, we don't joke, we are German. Bingo.....cans ! Quote
John Kloehr Posted January 22 Posted January 22 6 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said: Bingo.....cans ! So ... weak joke! But most of your posts are good. Keep doing them. 1 Quote
John Kloehr Posted January 22 Posted January 22 Then for fun: And for more, potentially not stuff to post on this forum: https://www.youtube.com/@abandonedfilms 2 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 22 Author Posted January 22 You should always knock on the fridge before opening it just in case there's a salad dressing. 1 2 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 23 Posted January 23 What does an escalator do when it stops working? Nothing, It just stairs. 2 2 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 23 Posted January 23 What kind of doctor was Dr Pepper? He was a Fizzician. 1 2 Quote
Lawdog Dago Dom Posted January 23 Posted January 23 What happens if someone slaps you at a high frequency? It Hertz. 1 5 Quote
Rye Miles #13621 Posted January 23 Posted January 23 Why was the math book sad ? It had so many problems 1 2 Quote
Alpo Posted January 24 Posted January 24 If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims 1 2 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 25 Posted January 25 I can't believe I got fired from the clock factory. I put in so many extra hours. 3 2 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 25 Posted January 25 A man was pushing a wheelbarrow full of horshoes up a hill. He was really pushing his luck. 2 2 Quote
Rye Miles #13621 Posted January 25 Posted January 25 I WAS SKEPTICAL OF MY CHIROPRACTOR BUT I STAND CORRECTED 2 Quote
Cypress Sun Posted January 25 Posted January 25 I bought some spot remover. Now I can't find my dog. 1 1 Quote
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted January 25 Posted January 25 My son told me he had a conundrum. I said " well that's a problem". 2 2 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 25 Author Posted January 25 On 1/23/2026 at 10:38 PM, Lawdog Dago Dom said: What happens if someone slaps you at a high frequency? It Hertz. Megahertz ! 1 Quote
Rye Miles #13621 Posted January 26 Posted January 26 This one guy swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles, his bowel movement could spell disaster! 1 1 Quote
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted January 26 Posted January 26 5 hours ago, Rye Miles #13621 said: This one guy swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles, his bowel movement could spell disaster! Any word yet? 1 6 Quote
Buckshot Bear Posted January 26 Author Posted January 26 8 hours ago, Rye Miles #13621 said: This one guy swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles, his bowel movement could spell disaster! It's gonna be one very bad vowel movement. 5 Quote
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