Dad Jokes (Groan)

[Alpo]

[Brock]

If you accidentally drop an ice cube, just kick it under the refrigerator.

 

Soon it'll just be water under the fridge.

[Buckshot Bear]

My dog got into our scrabble box and ate a whole bunch of word tiles, we rushed her to the vet and are still waiting. 

 

 

No word yet. 

[Buckshot Bear]

At dinner, I told my date I was trying to figure out what her favorite hobby might be. She leaned in, pounded her fist on the table and yelled, “I MAKE JAM AND PUT IT IN TINY GLASS CONTAINERS!”

 

 

 

It was jarring. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 25 by Buckshot Bear

[Buckshot Bear]

1 hour ago, Buckshot Bear said:

My dog got into our scrabble box and ate a whole bunch of word tiles, we rushed her to the vet and are still waiting. 

 

 

No word yet. 

 

Hopefully just a vowel obstruction.

[Brock]

What did the drummer name his twin girls?

 

 

Anna 1, Anna 2.

[Buckshot Bear]

My doctor told me he has to amputate both my arms...

 

 

I don't know how i'll handle that.

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

A Mexican Fireman, whose wife had twin boys, was asked their names.

 Jose` and Hose B.

[Alpo]

[Eyesa Horg]

4 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

A Mexican Fireman, whose wife had twin boys, was asked their names.

 Jose` and Hose B.

I used to work with their brother "Hose-C" at the phone company!

[Brock]

What do you call a chicken looking at a vegetable garden.

 

Chicken Caesar Salad

 

[Buckshot Bear]

What do you call a woman who lights fire to all her bill? 

 

 

Bernadette.

[Buckshot Bear]

5 hours ago, Brock said:

What do you call a chicken looking at a vegetable garden.

 

Chicken Caesar Salad

 

What if it wants to water that garden.....Then it Chickpeas

[John Kloehr]

I see some trying in these last posts. Very trying.

[Texas Joker]

On 8/24/2026 at 10:38 PM, Buckshot Bear said:

 

Hopefully just a vowel obstruction.

His next movement could spell catastrophe 

[Brock]

what do you call two witches who live in the same apartment?

 

broommates
 

 

 

Edited August 28 by Brock

[Brock]

I tried to catch fog yesterday.

 

Mist.

[Buckshot Bear]

What did Sean Connery say after he built his bookshelf wrong?

I’m ashamed of my shelf.

[Buckshot Bear]

Now that an executive order has been signed to make Lake Ontario Lake America…
Does that make Canadian Geese Donald Ducks?

[Brock]

I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.

[Buckshot Bear]

 

Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot.

[Buckshot Bear]

 

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?

Sofishticated.

[Brock]

I had a date last night.  It was PERFECT.  Today I'll have a banana.

[Brock]

I took a job as a personal trainer. The weights were too heavy so I gave my too weak notice,

[Buckshot Bear]

Why do squirrels float on there backs?

To keep there nuts dry.

[Buckshot Bear]

How do you console a sad English teacher?

 

There, Their, They're

[Brock]

The bishop sent his usher, Pax, to distribute the collection plates. After noting unusually large collections and hearing comment from the congregation, he called Pax into his office.  
 

“I did not say ‘Pax go frisk ‘em.’”