Christmas Traditions

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

 

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

And, of course......

 

With the holidays fast approaching, I want to take this opportunity to share with you my mother's famous fruitcake recipe. I certain hope you enjoy it. 
Fruitcake Recipe

1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 gallon whiskey 

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
Pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off mixer.
Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven.
Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the whiskey again.
Go to bed.
Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?
 

[Texas Lizard]

I was hoping for grandma got run over....

 

Texas Lizard

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

13 hours ago, Texas Lizard said:

I was hoping for grandma got run over....

 

Texas Lizard

 

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

You all know, I'm sure, that Santa Claus is so happy and joyful because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

 

[Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001]

I want that list 

 

   🤣

[Subdeacon Joe]

19 hours ago, Texas Lizard said:

I was hoping for grandma got run over....

 

Texas Lizard

 

I HATE that piece of music. 

[Yul Lose]

 

[Alpo]

I'm not a fan of Grandma, but I do like Dominic the Italian donkey.

 

 

 

 

[Blackwater 53393]

6 hours ago, Yul Lose said:

 

DANGIT!! Ya’ beat me to it!!

 

BUT!! The contrarian in me demands that I also post this one…

 

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Stump Water]

 

[Rye Miles #13621]

 

[Trailrider #896]

Nice song. Thanks, Mel Torme, who, until his ex took it in the divorce, had one of the greatest Colt's Single Action collection.  Personally, I like White Christmas sung by Bing, Rosey, et al. 

[sassnetguy50]

12 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

I HATE that piece of music. 

How about the parody?

 

 

Edited November 14 by sassnetguy50

[Subdeacon Joe]

1 hour ago, sassnetguy50 said:

How about the parody?

 

 

 

Same.  It's a "funny once" novelty song. 

[J-BAR #18287]

 

Christmas tradition:

 

Waking up the household on Christmas morning with Percy Faith's Joy To The World blasting on the stereo! 

[Alpo]

Every Christmas when I was little Daddy would have Christmas music playing on the stereo while we opened presents.

 

One of the albums that was played every year was this album. And I really loved this song.

 

 

[Abilene Slim SASS 81783]

https://babylonbee.com/news/bose-introduces-new-mariah-carey-canceling-headphones-for-christmas

 

(Satire from the Babylon Bee)

 

Edited November 14 by Abilene Slim SASS 81783

[Sedalia Dave]

 

Part of what fascinates me is that this was originally written and sung in German. It has since been translated into many different languages yet the melody hasn't changed. 

 

 

 

Edited Thursday at 08:08 PM by Sedalia Dave

[Sedalia Dave]