Tip of the day

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

 

• If you ever get caught sleeping at your desk at work just say "they told me at the Blood Bank that this would happen."

[Pat Riot]

I caught one of my guys sleeping on a train he was supposed to be inspecting. He was sitting in the operators seat with his head down. I said his name and he woke up and said “Amen”. I laughed so hard I got light headed. 
 

No, I did not write him up. Third shift is a tough shift for some people to get used to. I never did. 
 

 

Otto deleted a word, apparently. 

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

 

• If your coworker ever calls in sick for work, you can do the same 1-3 days later. Your boss will think you have the same thing and it's "going around the office."

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

• When buying bedsheets, look for striped ones. It will make it much easier to find the long and short sides.

[John Kloehr]

Make a cut end-to-end in empty TP rolls. Use them to "clip" wrapping paper rolls tight. No more crumbling rubber bands next Christmas.

 

On the unethical side, if you need a pair of sunglasses, ask at any store customer service counter if someone turned in "your" lost sunglasses some time ago... They may have dozens to choose from.

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

14 hours ago, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said:

• When buying bedsheets, look for striped ones. It will make it much easier to find the long and short sides.

Mine have labels in the seams: SIDES, TOP OR BOTTOM on the fitted lower sheet, BOTTOM THIS SIDE UP on the fancy top sheet.  My wife bought six sets before she died  I'm just now sleeping on the third one.  At this rate they'll last 15 more years.

[T.K.]

During my  32 years as a Nuclear Security Officer, we (the officers not management) always said if you do fall asleep and are woken up, Make the sign of the cross!

However, The best trick was to learn to sleep with your eyes OPEN!

 

I never, never ever SLEPT ON THE JOB!

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

          

 

• Don't save your banking information on online stores. Makes impulse buying much more difficult if you have to track down your wallet.

[Subdeacon Joe]

23 hours ago, Forty Rod SASS 3935 said:

Mine have labels in the seams: SIDES, TOP OR BOTTOM on the fitted lower sheet, BOTTOM THIS SIDE UP on the fancy top sheet.  My wife bought six sets before she died  I'm just now sleeping on the third one.  At this rate they'll last 15 more years.

 

It's a good idea.  Now the manufacturers need to make the tag bigger than 1mmx2mm.

[DocWard]

5 hours ago, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said:

          

 

• Don't save your banking information on online stores. Makes impulse buying much more difficult if you have to track down your wallet.

 

You don't have your information memorized?

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

 

• Whenever you accidentally set off your smoke alarm, give your pets a treat so they learn to come to you when there actually is a fire and you need to escape.

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

13 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

It's a good idea.  Now the manufacturers need to make the tag bigger than 1mmx2mm.

Thes

 

13 hours ago, DocWard said:

 

You don't have your information memorized?

 

13 hours ago, DocWard said:

 

You don't have your information memorized?

 

Hell, son, I was eighteen years old before I memorized my name.  The Army forced me to learn my serial number (O5 711 238) and the Marines made me memorize my SSN because they had stopped using MC numbers before I joined them.

 

I have my cell phone (nearly a year old now) number taped to the back of the phone.

[Pat Riot]

1 hour ago, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said:

 

• Whenever you accidentally set off your smoke alarm, give your pets a treat so they learn to come to you when there actually is a fire and you need to escape.

This is an excellent idea. My dog Maddie would run and hide. We once found her in our closet buried under clothes that were in the laundry basket. She apparently knocked it over to utilize the clothes for cover. She would not come out for a few minutes after we got the alarm shut off. 

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

• If you have somewhat of a double chin or you want your jawline to be more defined in a picture, put your tongue on the roof of your mouth.

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

If you remove the spoon from your morning coffee ....... your eyes won't hurt as much.

 

🙃

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

On 8/27/2024 at 7:35 AM, John Kloehr said:

On the unethical side, if you need a pair of sunglasses, ask at any store customer service counter if someone turned in "your" lost sunglasses some time ago... They may have dozens to choose from.

When  was a kid, every now and then, when I needed a watch, I'd go to the Lost and Found in the school, and see if somebody had turned in "my" watch: A Timex with a black band. They usually did.

[Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001]

don't eat , YELLOW Snow 

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

 

• If you don’t know whether you should use the word effect or affect, simply use impact.

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

 

• When the power goes out search for wifi networks on your phone to see if everyones power is out.

 

NOTE: This tip is primarily used to see if others have a power outage, not as an alternative to getting a message out.

 

 

[Texas Joker]

In the event of an emergency voice lines may be overwhelmed on cell towers but sms/text uses a different bandwidth. Send a text 

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

Quelling road rage by pretending that they really have to poop.

 

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

 

• Remember that one 18-inch pizza is more pizza than two 12-inch pizzas.

 

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

[Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001]

don't bet on the ponies 

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

Establishments of Higher Education have established that fools can be educated to a higher level;

   ........... and still be fools.

🙃

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

29 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

Establishments of Higher Education have established that fools can be educated to a higher level;

   ........... and still be fools.

🙃

Quite correct. Education and intelligence are not interchangeable. I've recently heard it said that some degrees, say Transgender Studies, only qualify one to teach the subject, since the subject is useless anyway. 

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

 

• If your car is overheating, turn your heat on full blast. When you turn the heat on in a car, it pulls heat from the engine into the cab, thus cooling the engine.

 

It will also make you sweat! 

 

[Pat Riot]

22 minutes ago, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said:

 

• If your car is overheating, turn your heat on full blast. When you turn the heat on in a car, it pulls heat from the engine into the cab, thus cooling the engine.

 

It will also make you sweat! 

 

Actually water from the cooling system is routed through a coil in the passenger compartment where a fan or fans push air through vents sending heat into the passenger compartment.  The action of the fans cools the water for it’s return to the engine and cooling system thus helping to cool the overheated engine. 

[Pat Riot]

17 hours ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

Years ago I asked a doctor if “an apple a day keeps the doctor away”? He said “Not if he or she is tenacious.” then changed the subject. As I was driving home it dawned on me that he had made a joke. 

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

5 minutes ago, Pat Riot said:

Actually water from the cooling system is routed through a coil in the passenger compartment where a fan or fans push air through vents sending heat into the passenger compartment.  The action of the fans cools the water for it’s return to the engine and cooling system thus helping to cool the overheated engine. 

 

Thanks.
I keep forgetting in trusting the Internet. 

 

 

[Texas Joker]

9 minutes ago, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said:

 

Thanks.
I keep forgetting in trusting the Internet. 

 

 

You both said the same thing in different ways.

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

3 hours ago, Texas Joker said:

You both said the same thing in different ways.

 

          

It's all in how you look at it.

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

[Pat Riot]

Tip of the Day, Sept. 5, 2024

 

Using feed corn and carrots to appease hungry deer so they won’t eat your birdseed does not work. They bring friends then eat all the corn and carrots then move on to the birdseed. 
 

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]