Aug 1 Dad Joke

[Alpo]

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

 

 

He needed more space.

[Alpo]

Scientific studies have proven that it is awful for you to brush your teeth with your left hand.

 

It's much better for you to use a toothbrush.

[Sedalia Dave]

What's Blue and not very heavy?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Light Blue

 

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?

 

 

 

 

A pouch potato/

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

• You don't need a parachute to go sky-diving. You need one to go sky-diving twice.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

It's not easy being a mom. Otherwise, dads would do it.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

I'd love to have kids one day. But that's as long as I can handle them.

[Sedalia Dave]

 

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

• What did 20 do when it was hungry?
•  
•  
•  
• Twenty-eight.

[Sedalia Dave]

 

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

[Sedalia Dave]

Why did the Chicken cross the road?

 

 

 

 To prove to the Armadillo that it could be done. 

Edited November 21, 2025 by Sedalia Dave

[Sedalia Dave]

Why do Geese fly in a V?

 

 

 

 Because a G is too hard to make. 

[Black Angus McPherson]

6 hours ago, Sedalia Dave said:

Why do Geese fly in a V?

 

 

 

 Because a G is too hard to make. 

 

 

But. do you know why one side of the V is longer than the other?

.

.

.

.

.

.

'Cause there's more geese on that side.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Mt brother was a professional russian roulette player. He only lost once.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

How much does it cost to run Santa's sleigh?

 

 

8 bucks, nine if the weather is bad.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

7 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

How much does it cost to run Santa's sleigh?

 

 

8 bucks, nine if the weather is bad.

NAME THEM.

 

 ...... there's actually 10

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

3 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

NAME THEM.

 

 ...... there's actually 10

You mean Olive?

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

yes ......... that's one

[Alpo]

Dasher, dancer, prancer, vixen (with the name like Vixen this should be a doe), comet, cupid, donder, blitzen, Rudolph and Olive.

 

Also I'm pretty sure that I read that caribou bucks lose their antlers in the winter. Both bucks and does have antlers, but only the does have antlers in the winter.

 

Which would make all 10 of the reindeer female.

 

Somewhere in there is a "doesn't get lost because she asks directions" joke, I'm pretty certain.

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

Uncle Alpo wins    🙃

[Alpo]

What's the prize? (If it's a 5-lb jar of Vegemite, give it to the bear).

[Alpo]

As long as I'm talking about Vegemite, I saw a video where in Australian girl had been unable to find Vegemite in the stores here in the states, but they had Marmite. So she's going to give it a try.

 

It's supposed to be the same thing, just made in England instead of Oz (makes sense - they are both yeast based whatever the hell they are).

 

Apparently that's like saying that Coke is the same thing as Pepsi (makes sense - they are both cola flavored soda pop) She was not impressed. Could not understand how anybody could put that nasty stuff in their mouth intentionally.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

3 minutes ago, Alpo said:

As long as I'm talking about Vegemite, I saw a video where in Australian girl had been unable to find Vegemite in the stores here in the states, but they had Marmite. So she's going to give it a try.

 

It's supposed to be the same thing, just made in England instead of Oz (makes sense - they are both yeast based whatever the hell they are).

 

Apparently that's like saying that Coke is the same thing as Pepsi (makes sense - they are both cola flavored soda pop) She was not impressed. Could not understand how anybody could put that nasty stuff in their mouth intentionally.

and that's a dad joke?

[Alpo]

No, I think they call that a tangent. As in "going off on a tangent".

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

more like a curve.

[Cactus Jack Calder]

5 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

more like a curve.

A tangent is a straight line produced when you are going off on a curve and the string breaks. 😁

 

CJ

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

1 hour ago, Cactus Jack Calder said:

A tangent is a straight line produced when you are going off on a curve and the string breaks. 😁

 

CJ

Curves can be tangential.

[Rye Miles #13621]

[Eyesa Horg]

1 hour ago, Rye Miles #13621 said:

Good thing you had the capacity to deal with it. Was there any resistance? I'd be wired!

[Rye Miles #13621]

9 minutes ago, Eyesa Horg said:

Good thing you had the capacity to deal with it. Was there any resistance? I'd be wired!

I was shocked! Luckily I have this forum as an outlet!

[Eyesa Horg]

I switched off for a second, but back on in light of things.

[Rye Miles #13621]

I’m out of juice, I have no clue how to turn back on