Aug 1 Dad Joke

[Lawdog Dago Dom]

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

HA?

[J-BAR #18287]

Separate bathrooms promote happy marriages.

 

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

1 hour ago, J-BAR #18287 said:

Separate bathrooms promote happy marriages.

 

 

 ....... also helps in regard to the 'toothpaste tube' wars ........🙃

[Pat Riot]

It took 2 decades, but I finally won the toilet paper debate. I relented on the paper towel roller - it’s an upright model. She likes it to unroll to the left. I like it to unroll to the right. I started putting the paper towel roll the way she likes it. It’s her kitchen, even though I do most of the cooking since we retired. 
Now she puts the roll on the way I liked it. I always switch it back to unrolling to the left. I think she’s trying to make me crazy. But, I love her anyway. 

[Pat Riot]

1 hour ago, J-BAR #18287 said:

Separate bathrooms promote happy marriages.

 

We had separate bathrooms in the last house we had in CA. I liked it. 
Now we have a small 850-900 sg ft home with one bathroom. 

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

1 hour ago, Pat Riot said:

We had separate bathrooms in the last house we had in CA. I liked it. 
Now we have a small 850-900 sg ft home with one bathroom. 

That's a mighty small house.  Where do keep your guns? 

[Pat Riot]

5 hours ago, Forty Rod SASS 3935 said:

That's a mighty small house.  Where do keep your guns? 

What guns?

It’s a 2 bedroom. 1 is used for hobbies. 

It does have a full basement and a 1 car garage. 

[Cheyenne Ranger, 48747L]

home is where the heart is 🏠

[DeaconKC]

"Behind every angry woman is a husband with no idea of what he did wrong."

 

I told that to my Missus and she just laughed and said "Oh honey, I know that look."

[Pat Riot]

Aug 2

 

Where did people hang out during medieval
times?

 

 

At knight clubs.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

On 8/2/2024 at 7:51 PM, Pat Riot said:

Aug 2

 

Where did people hang out during medieval
times?

 

 

At knight clubs.

This is a knight club.

 

 

[Pat Riot]

6 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

This is a knight club.

 

 

Yeah, but it’s not funny…or annoying, like Dad Jokes. 

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

1 hour ago, Pat Riot said:

Yeah, but it’s not funny…or annoying, like Dad Jokes. 

Ahhhh.

[Alpo]

1 hour ago, Pat Riot said:

Yeah, but it’s not funny…or annoying, like Dad Jokes. 

I don't know. I'm pretty sure that if somebody hit me with one of those I would be annoyed.

[bgavin]

After nearly a decade of construction, my bride is finally organizing her kitchen.
Her "leave it alone" layout seems to favor the Left Handed, which she is not.
This is a fight I won't have a dog in.

[punxsutawneypete]

I never had any kids.  Can I still tell Dad Jokes?  Or do I have to get adopted?

[John Kloehr]

9 minutes ago, punxsutawneypete said:

I never had any kids.  Can I still tell Dad Jokes?  Or do I have to get adopted?

[Matthew Duncan]

Would you believe I solved the “how to hang the toilet paper” issue by replacing it a bucket of corn cobs?

 

[John Kloehr]

Just now, Matthew Duncan said:

Would you believe I solved the “how to hang the toilet paper” issue by replacing it a bucket of corn cobs?

 

The patent is perfectly clear:

 

 

I will concede the owner may not have had a cat.

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

Moving right along:

[Henry T Harrison]

I’m male all I care about is that it’s there

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

I saw this and thought, that would be a dad joke
 

Where do generals keep their armies?

 

Up their sleevies.

[Alpo]

[Cheyenne Ranger, 48747L]

Bartender:  did you see the dog's bowl

.

.

.

.

.

customer:  I didn't know they could 🐶

[Lawdog Dago Dom]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Elon Musk is planning a restaurant for a lunar colony.

 

The food will be great but there’s just no atmosphere.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Where does one learn to make ice cream?

 

Sundae school,

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

What kind of car do eggs drive?

 

 

 

Yolkswagens

 

 

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Why did ghosts go into bars?

 

 

for the boos.

[Alpo]

On 8/12/2024 at 9:02 PM, Cheyenne Ranger, 48747L said:

Bartender:  did you see the dog's bowl

.

.

.

.

.

customer:  I didn't know they could 🐶

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

 

 

Of course, buildings can’t jump.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

What did baby corn say to mama corn?

 

 

 

Where’s popcorn?

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Why do fish swim in salt water?

 

 

Pepper makes them sneeze.

[Sedalia Dave]