“Life Hacks” or “How to be a Scumbag”

[Pat Riot]

I was on AcidCow.com looking at pictures and I saw a section labeled “Life Hacks” (stupid term) and opened it. 
Basically it’s lessons on Scumbaggery and Dumbassery. 
I deleted the GIFs that came with it as they are just stupid. 
 

BY THE WAY, if you are prone to high blood pressure or are generally angry warn your loved ones in the area before reading these. 

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https://acidcow.com/gif/162744-useful-lifehacks-15-gifs.html
Unlock everyday brilliance with our guide to useful lifehacks! From clever shortcuts to smart solutions, these tips are designed to make your life easier and more efficient. Perfect for tackling common challenges, these lifehacks will help you streamline tasks and boost productivity with ease.



"I use my ex’s and bosses phone numbers at Kroger’s fuel pumps to steal their discounts."



"I used to go to Subway knowing my bank account had like 45 cents in there. I’d customize my sandwich and when it was time to pay, I’d be like “ugh what is wrong with my card? I have money in there!”. Since my sandwich was customized to me, they would just give it to me. I was a cr**py teenager."



"I was in a three-person team in Home Ec in high school. I always volunteered to do the dishes. Then when it was something gross like a really greasy pot or pan, I said to the other two that I do the dishes all the time and that they could do it for once."



"Tell the truth 99% of the time. Then when you have that credibility, you can lie and people will believe you."



"There was a guy who was a wood worker my dad knew. Horrible accident at work, lost a bunch of fingers. Big settlement and too disabled to work…

One day he’s at our house, and he’s drunk. And he f**king tells us all he did it on purpose.

My dad just told him to leave."



"The cops in our town like to hide at the back end of the neighborhood park to catch people who let their dogs run off leash. They could park in the front lot and let people know they’re there to deter off-leashers, but they prefer to sit where they can catch you in the act. To me this says they care more about writing tickets than they care about actually enforcing the leash law.

In order to get to the far end of the park the cops have to drive through a gate that is always left open, with the padlock just hanging there, unlocked.

When I know the cops are hiding at the far end of the park I close and lock the gate on them."



"Walk into a Chipotle, Panera, or any restaurant that puts online orders on a shelf. Walk up to the shelf with confidence and tfake one of the bags and walk out. Free meal."



"I have 5 different 1 L water bottles, one for each day of the week. I fill them up before I leave work from the filtered water coolers and then put them in the fridge when I get home. Living alone, I haven’t had to buy bottled water or a water filter in 11 years."



"Behave like an idiot. People will trust you more and let their guards down. It makes it much easier to f**k them over as they will never think that it was you. Also no one will expect anything from you so you will get cut a lot of slack."



"Go to Walgreens or somewhere that sells Costco or Sam’s gift cards. Buy one for any amount and then go shop without being a member. Because you have the gift card they can’t make you buy a membership and will let you use it."



"Walmart has a 90 day return policy for pretty much everything they sell. AC broken/heat wave? Rent a couple window units from Walmart. Want a 72″ LED tv for a Super Bowl party? Rent it from Walmart.."



"Create multiple email addresses to continuously take advantage of free trial periods for subscription services, effectively getting them for free indefinitely."

L

"When you enter a raffle drawing, fold or crinkle your ticket/slip of paper a little bit. It makes it slightly more likely to be drawn. It’s worked for me a few times and I feel a little guilty every time."



"In many elevators you can hold down the ‘close door’ button while choosing floor to get a non-stop ride. Meant to be used by rescue service/firemen."



"Microsoft Paint can be used to delete and replace text on any scanned document, the eyedropper tool can match the font color and even the paper background color to make the change look seamless."

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

A few real AHs there.

[Sedalia Dave]

 

1 hour ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

A few real AHs there.

 

Definitely a bunch of A$$hats.

 

BTW a few of those will not work

[Pat Riot]

7 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said:

 

 

Definitely a bunch of A$$hats.

 

BTW a few of those will not work

Good! 
 

I wonder if companies use this for profiling? 

8 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said:

BTW a few of those will not work

Hmmm…how do you know this? 

[Alpo]

He's right about Walmart.

 

I bought a pair of shoes. Now you know Walmart shoes ain't the best in the world. And nowadays they don't sew shoes together, they glue them. So I'm out walking the dog one day and the sole came unglued from the upper.

 

I checked my records to see when I bought them, dug into my receipts and found the receipt, and off to the store I go.

 

I have had this type of shoe before. After about a year and a half I had worn a hole in the sole. That's fine. Stuff wears out. This coming apart - that was garbage.

 

So I go to customer service and I give them my shoe and I give them my receipt and I tell them that in my opinion this should not happen after 4 months. The guy tells me that they can give a refund on anything up to 3 months, without a receipt. But they can't give a refund on anything more than 3 months old. So I picked up the receipt and crumpled it in my hand and stuck it in my pocket and told him that I had bought those shoes two months ago.

 

And he asked me if I would like to have a refund or another pair of shoes. I told him I wanted another pair of shoes and he told me to go get them. I brought them back up to him and he compared them to the ones I brought, put them in a sack and said "have a nice day sir".

 

 

[Cypress Sun]

 

The close door button in 99.99% of elevators in the US is disconnected and non-functional as directed by the ADA.

 

The people that would do most of the "life hacks" listed are scumbags. Anyone that would cut their fingers off to avoid work and sue for settlement are both a scumbag AND an idiot.

[John Kloehr]

I think the elevator door-close button does work in fire mode, but disabling it for most use reduced "anger" for cutting people off and leaving the button made most people feel it still did something.

 

As to the life hacks, after deep though, I have done the scumbag thing twice.

 

The first was for an RV trip (rented the RV) and (now ex) wife wanted to watch the Thanksgiving Day parade on the trip. I went to the big AV store where I had bought a lot of stuff over the years and purchased a small TV with integrated VHS player. Returned it after we got back saying it was too small and needed something a bit bigger. Technically true, and did buy something a bit bigger for the bedroom at home. But would never have "bought" the smaller one without the RV trip and was going to buy the other setup anyway. So scumbag move. I got to stand in line with lots of folks returning amazing high-end setups they had used just to watch the games with their buddies.

 

Second time was a big-box hardware store. I had bought a few thousand dollars of stuff for a patio project, and needed some screeds for the sand. EMT electrical tubing was the right size. Three pieces. Hosed them off and returned them afterwards just to find out if I could... Turns out I could, and got about $5 back. There is a bit of back story about learning store policies and procedures while I worked for them, and I often would have a project (like plumbing) where I would buy everything I might need (like reset a toilet, will need one of four wax seals, buy one of each, return other three). But I did return the tubing just to see if I could. Even hosed off, it had a different surface shine due to the sand grinding the finish. It went straight to the markdown pile and the next stop for it was the dumpster. Scumbag move.

 

After letting this post sit for a bit before submitting, that is it. I fully admit to being a scumbag two times.

 

There is a hack which is legitimate and I do use. AutoZone has a tool "rental" program. You buy the tool, use it, and return it. This is legit! They do expect you to buy any parts and materials from them which is fair (but not required). The most recent time was about a month ago. AC on my truck went out. I "rented" the expensive vacuum pump, bought the shrader valves and refrigerant, and returned the pump afterwards. They really should charge some amount as an actual rental program, but they just "sell" the same tool over and over again. I think the benefit is they do not have to throw it in the dumpster when it is returned used; and if not returned, then it is a sale at full retail. They also offered to "rent" me a manifold set so I would get the right amount of refrigerant in the system, a buddy has the gauge set or I would have taken them up on it.

 

 

[sassnetguy50]

O'Reilly Auto has the same buy and return tool program.  One local employee will ask if you want to buy or rent it, then he knows to give you the used one or grab a new one from the back.  

 

A tip is to buy your TV the weeks after the super bowl.  Ask the salesman if they have any open box discounted TVs.  You get a good deal and help the store deal with scumbags.  

[Rip Snorter]

Decent folks don't do this kind of crap.  Guess I'm lucky to have only brush passed the type. 

[Pat Riot]

Scumbags are why prices are high on certain things and in certain areas. 
I recall being at a Sears in South Sacramento and all the prices were higher than other Sears. 
My wife and I wanted a specific washer / dryer set that was $1200 online, but at that store the set was $1700. 
I asked a store manager why. He said “This store’s prices are higher due to theft and other crimes committed in the store.”

I said “You mean like price gouging?” And then we left. 
 

A so-called friend of mine bought a big screen at Costco for “the Big Game” a few years back. I wasn’t invited to his party but he did ask me to help him rebid the TV he was taking back to Costco. I told him to pound sand but not before finding out which Costco he was returning it to. 
I called that Costco and spoke to a very nice lady in management. I gave her my “friend’s” name and a few details on the TV and she told me the joke was going to be on him as they would not accept returned TVs bought around the time of the Super Bowl. Hahahahaha

My so-called friend had to eat the cost of that big ol’ TV Hahahaha…Bastage!

 

By the way, we’re no longer friends. I told him what I did. Screw him! Did I mention “Hahahahaha”?

 

[Rye Miles #13621]

4 minutes ago, Pat Riot said:

Scumbags are why prices are high on certain things and in certain areas. 
I recall being at a Sears in South Sacramento and all the prices were higher than other Sears. 
My wife and I wanted a specific washer / dryer set that was $1200 online, but at that store the set was $1700. 
I asked a store manager why. He said “This store’s prices are higher due to theft and other crimes committed in the store.”

I said “You mean like price gouging?” And then we left. 
 

A so-called friend of mine bought a big screen at Costco for “the Big Game” a few years back. I wasn’t invited to his party but he did ask me to help him rebid the TV he was taking back to Costco. I told him to pound sand but not before finding out which Costco he was returning it to. 
I called that Costco and spoke to a very nice lady in management. I gave her my “friend’s” name and a few details on the TV and she told me the joke was going to be on him as they would not accept returned TVs bought around the time of the Super Bowl. Hahahahaha

My so-called friend had to eat the cost of that big ol’ TV Hahahaha…Bastage!

 

By the way, we’re no longer friends. I told him what I did. Screw him! Did I mention “Hahahahaha”?

 

You don’t need friends like that! Good for you! 😎

[Pat Riot]

2 minutes ago, Rye Miles #13621 said:

You don’t need friends like that! Good for you! 😎

I have unburdened myself of a few acquaintances like that over the years. 

[Sedalia Dave]

Only Costco Members can buy Costco Gift cards. They are not available for non-members to buy.

 

Sam's Club will sell them to non-members but you pay a 10% surcharge.

 

Both stores will allow non-members got use gift cards. However you cannot buy more than the dollar amount still on the card.  ie you can't use a $20 balance on the gift card to buy $100 of merchandise.

 

[Cypress Sun]

You know why you have to carefully inspect every box or item at Home Depot, Lowes, Walmart and damn near everywhere else before buying it? It's because some scumbag brought it back, said they didn't need it, but either stole parts out of it or broke/damaged it in some way. Then the store put it back on the shelf without checking to see if parts were missing or the item was damaged. Sometimes the store knows that the item is defective, damaged or missing parts but still puts it back on the shelf...the scumbags.

 

Note - Never, ever, take the first item you see. Dig to the back (the stores are too lazy to rotate the items) and always check to make sure that the factory seals are in place, otherwise the scumbags will get one over on you also!

[John Kloehr]

52 minutes ago, Rip Snorter said:

Decent folks don't do this kind of crap.  Guess I'm lucky to have only brush passed the type. 

Well, I hope you can forgive me my two transgressions.

 

I can't stand those who do this as a part of every-day life. I also think those who do so would do better focused on being productive rather than spinning on some perceived "advantage" which costs more in the end.

 

Sort of what my dad taught me about lying. If you tell the truth, you only have to remember one thing. If you lie, you have to remember two, and who to.

[Rip Snorter]

3 minutes ago, John Kloehr said:

Well, I hope you can forgive me my two transgressions.

 

I can't stand those who do this as a part of every-day life. I also think those who do so would do better focused on being productive rather than spinning on some perceived "advantage" which costs more in the end.

 

Sort of what my dad taught me about lying. If you tell the truth, you only have to remember one thing. If you lie, you have to remember two, and who to.

Forgiveness is above my pay grade, and above this World or in your own mind.  I have nights of my own.

[sassnetguy50]

4 hours ago, Cypress Sun said:

You know why you have to carefully inspect every box or item at Home Depot, Lowes, Walmart and damn near everywhere else before buying it? It's because some scumbag brought it back, said they didn't need it, but either stole parts out of it or broke/damaged it in some way. Then the store put it back on the shelf without checking to see if parts were missing or the item was damaged. Sometimes the store knows that the item is defective, damaged or missing parts but still puts it back on the shelf...the scumbags.

 

Note - Never, ever, take the first item you see. Dig to the back (the stores are too lazy to rotate the items) and always check to make sure that the factory seals are in place, otherwise the scumbags will get one over on you also!

Many stores do not restock returned items.  Those go to pallet sales and often end up at warehouse auctions or ebay.  If the box is damaged, the theft probably happened on the store shelf.

[Eyesa Horg]

10 hours ago, Cypress Sun said:

You know why you have to carefully inspect every box or item at Home Depot, Lowes, Walmart and damn near everywhere else before buying it? It's because some scumbag brought it back, said they didn't need it, but either stole parts out of it or broke/damaged it in some way. Then the store put it back on the shelf without checking to see if parts were missing or the item was damaged. Sometimes the store knows that the item is defective, damaged or missing parts but still puts it back on the shelf...the scumbags.

 

Note - Never, ever, take the first item you see. Dig to the back (the stores are too lazy to rotate the items) and always check to make sure that the factory seals are in place, otherwise the scumbags will get one over on you also!

Many years ago I had a similar incident at an Ace Hardware. I returned a defective tool and got a replacement. Then did some more shopping and the tool I returned was already back on the shelf! I mentioned it to the manager that the tool was defective. He said, the next guy probably won't notice! 

[Cypress Sun]

5 hours ago, sassnetguy50 said:

Many stores do not restock returned items.  Those go to pallet sales and often end up at warehouse auctions or ebay.  If the box is damaged, the theft probably happened on the store shelf.

 

I'm sure some stores actually do this with returned/open boxes. I can tell you for a fact that (at least around here) Home Depot, Lowes and Walmart aren't among those stores.

 

7 minutes ago, Eyesa Horg said:

Many years ago I had a similar incident at an Ace Hardware. I returned a defective tool and got a replacement. Then did some more shopping and the tool I returned was already back on the shelf! I mentioned it to the manager that the tool was defective. He said, the next guy probably won't notice! 

 

A few years ago, I returned a light fixture that was missing the mounting hardware. When I bought the fixture, it was in a box with just a tuck in flap type box seal, no tape. Upon opening the box, it was obvious that the box had been opened, bag ripped open and the hardware taken.

 

I highly suspected that HD restocked returned/damaged items but I just had to see for myself so I marked the box, with a Sharpie, in a such a way to be unobvious and took it back to HD. I told the person at returns that the box had been opened and was missing the hardware. Two days later I returned to HD to buy some other stuff and looked to see if the fixture was back on the shelf...it was...at the very front of the boxes of fixtures.

 

BTW - HD is located about a 1/2 mile away from me so it's very convenient.

[Equanimous Phil]

17 hours ago, Cypress Sun said:

I told the person at returns that the box had been opened and was missing the hardware. Two days later I returned to HD to buy some other stuff and looked to see if the fixture was back on the shelf...it was...at the very front of the boxes of fixtures.

Well, they could have replaced the missing hardware before putting it back on the shelf, theoretically, .... I mean, REALLY THEORETICALLY... 

[Rye Miles #13621]

On 7/24/2024 at 10:10 AM, Pat Riot said:

I used to go to Subway knowing my bank account had like 45 cents in there. I’d customize my sandwich and when it was time to pay, I’d be like “ugh what is wrong with my card? I have money in there!”. Since my sandwich was customized to me, they would just give it to me. I was a cr**py teenager.

This does not work everywhere. This happened to my nephew a few months ago and someone in line behind him paid for it otherwise the girl said, Sorry we can't give it to you! 

My nephew is a real dumb$%#

[Alpo]

Back in the long ago time, at McDonald's (and I presume at other fast food type restaurants) cooked food that was left over when they closed - the employees were allowed to take it home.

 

Employees, being normal people, started taking advantage of this. They would cook a whole bunch of food at the end of shift. And then they could take home burgers and fries and hot apple pies and whatever.

 

So McDonald's came up with a new policy. Food left over in a shift - in the trash.

 

And McDonald's would write it off as a business expense.

 

It just seems like Subway, if you did this "life hack", would round file the sandwich and write it off.

[Pat Riot]

4 hours ago, Alpo said:

Back in the long ago time, at McDonald's (and I presume at other fast food type restaurants) cooked food that was left over when they closed - the employees were allowed to take it home.

 

Employees, being normal people, started taking advantage of this. They would cook a whole bunch of food at the end of shift. And then they could take home burgers and fries and hot apple pies and whatever.

 

So McDonald's came up with a new policy. Food left over in a shift - in the trash.

 

And McDonald's would write it off as a business expense.

 

It just seems like Subway, if you did this "life hack", would round file the sandwich and write it off.

A friend of mine was a manager for McDonald’s. He took the leftover food to a homeless shelter after hours. He did this for weeks then one day he got a “Cease and Desist Order” from McDonald’s Legal Offices. 
It turned out that the Shelter wrote a very nice letter to McD’s corporate offices praising my friend for his generosity.

Corporate turned the letter over to Legal. My friend came close to losing his job in the whole thing all because of “what if” legal BS.

Just one more reason I will not eat their food or patronize their establishments. 

 

In the desert areas out west I have actually driven an extra 50 miles to find a place to eat that wasn’t a McD’s. McDonald’s is like cancer out west on some interstate routes. Every exit seems to have a McD’s and many have only a McD’s.