Jump to content
SASS Wire Forum

Trying to be a Gentleman


Recommended Posts

image.png.dc408e1ee428f3b3d0b2c59c80653633.png

 

Here's the scenario:

Your with your wife at a restaurant, not fancy, but an Outback, Chili's or Applebee's type.
After looking at the menu you both decide on what to order.
Being a gentleman you place the order with the hostess, referring first to what the wife wants, followed by what you want.
How do you first address the hostess?

1. My wife will have....
2. The Lady will have...
3. She'll have....
4. OTHER

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don’t try to be too much of a “gentleman” as much as I try to be polite and diplomatic until it isn’t working.

 

Today, while I was visiting my wife at the hospital, some self important old woman on the staff started in on me about me not wearing a mask while in the room.  
 

I remained polite, but told her that she had the bedside manner of a garbage truck!

 

I think she was maybe offended!!<_<

  • Like 2
  • Haha 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My wife can speak for herself. I always wait for her to order unless she says she’s not ready then I order. 
My old man was one of these “I’ll order for everyone” type of guys. It annoyed the hell out of me. 

  • Like 3
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 minutes ago, Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 said:

BE Polite , 

BE Professional 

and have a PLAN to kill everyone ya meet 

 

  :ph34r:

Though in the long haul, not my favorite General, and maybe not the Warrior Monk.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There were a couple times that a marketing guy took me with him on a customer visit. It was always a day trip, out and back. On the way back we would stop for dinner in Boston. I recall the waitress placing our orders for us, “You’re having the prime rib.”

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4.  Other

 

I’d greet the Hostess/waitress first.  Then I direct the waitress attention to the wife.  After the wife orders then I place my order.

  • Like 8
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My wife and I are equals - I wouldn't be with a woman who deferred to me or required me to order on her behalf.

 

My "Gentleman" traits:

I open doors for her - she orders first.

I would kill or die for her - she would do the same for me.

Beyond that; we don't stand too much on ceremony.

That's our system.

  • Like 7
  • Thanks 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Interesting question.

 

I have ordered for my wife before we were married, and I have ordered for my daughter after she was grown.

 

In both cases I said the lady will have blah blah blah blah and I will have blah blah blah blah.

 

 

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

In cases like that my wife will usually have told me what she wants, so I tell the waitress, "My wife will be having (fill in the blank), and I'll have ( fill in the blank)."

 

Although it's usually reversed because she can hear and understand the waitress and I have to cup my ear and keep saying, "Would you please repeat that?"

  • Like 3
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

There were a couple times that a marketing guy took me with him on a customer visit. It was always a day trip, out and back. On the way back we would stop for dinner in Boston. I recall the waitress placing our orders for us, “You’re having the prime rib.”

Reminds me of this 

 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I suppose I may have misunderstood the question. Because most of the responses did not answer what I thought the question was.

 

As I understood the question, I - the gentleman - was going to order for my wife (or other female dining companion), and the question appeared to be how was I going to refer to her.

 

I don't feel that it's any of the waitress' business that my female dining companion is my wife or my daughter or my mistress or my boss. So I would just say, "the lady will have...". "She will have..." seems sort of crude.

 

I've noticed, many times in my lifetime, that people will tell you things that are none of your business, and that have nothing to do with what's going on. I recall going to a job site one time, and there was a guard at the gate, and I told him I was going to the double-joint rack, and he was waving me through. When the guy in the truck with me starts telling the guard why we are going to the double-joint rack. What we were going to get while we were there. The guard didn't care. I knew the secret password to get through the gate and that's all that mattered.

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Alpo said:

Interesting question.

 

I have ordered for my wife before we were married, and I have ordered for my daughter after she was grown.

 

In both cases I said the lady will have blah blah blah blah and I will have blah blah blah blah.

 

 

I hate it when I order blah blah blah blah and all I get is blah.

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

If I had to wait for my wife to order or make up her mind first before I ordered.

I would never get to eat !

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, Dilli GaHoot Galoot said:

Reminds me of this 

 

The last line is the best :lol:

 

Nearly 20 years ago I was in Austria on a work related trip. We were at a restaurant on the outskirts of Vienna. The waitress was a large stoic woman with a bit of an attitude. Not as much attitude as the lady in the video clip, but close without the cuss words.

She spoke English she came to the table with her pad at the ready and said “Beef or Pork. You get your own drinks at the counter over there. We don’t sell Coke or any of those drinks. What we have to drink is over there unless you want beer. Now, Beef or pork?”

I picked beef and said “What kind of beer do you have?”

”Did you not see the sign coming in?”

”You mean that one that’s covered in ice and snow?”

”Yes. It says Budvar” I think that was the name.

I smiled and said “Perfect” and she actually smiled back. 
My companions ordered. 
The meals arrived a while later and I ordered another beer as it was one of the best tasting beers I had ever had. The meal was very good too. Beef, boiled potato with cabbage and some greens. 
The lady said “Vee have a two bier limit”

I smiled widely and said “Well, I have a three beer minimum.” and slid a €20 note in her direction on the table (it had been a horribly long day dealing with my companions)

She smiled and did a little curtsy. In an instant she was a happy little girl and in the next instant she was the large stoic woman again. She snagged the note and left.

When it came time for beer number three, my last beer, as the first two were definitely high alcohol beers. My companions also asked for a third beer. 
She smiled at me then glared at them and said “Vee have a two bier limit!” and she strutted away to get my beer. 
The two meatheads I was with were too cheap and didn’t have the nerve to try and bribe her so I enjoyed my third beer slowly. 

I had forgotten about this until I saw that video. Thank you. 

  • Like 2
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Quite a bit back we were on motorcycle ride in Maine and stopped at "Road Kill Cafe"; the waiter pointed and told us where everything was and took our order. We had to draw our own beer into these 3 foot tall skinny glasses! When our meal were ready, he yelled across the room to tell us to go to the kitchen and get our food! We had the best time ever, the place was a hoot!! Sure was different serving ourselves though. The waiter for what little he did other than bust our balls, kept track of what we were helping ourselves too! Never been into another restaurant where the patrons were having so much fun!

Edited by Eyesa Horg
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 said:

BE Polite , 

BE Professional 

and have a PLAN to kill everyone ya meet 

 

  :ph34r:

You must have seen this. LOL

 

image.thumb.png.6c3194754b0ffe088083a1594e96ec1f.png

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My wife orders her own food first unless she is having a hard time deciding and tells me to go ahead and order first and then she will be ready. The only time I have ever ordered for her is if she has to go the bathroom and she tells me what she wants in case the waiter/waitress comes to take our order while she is gone. 

 

So it would be number 4. Other

 

TM

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

While I am all for gentlemanly behavior and try to practice it at all times.I feel ordering for the lady is one holdover from the Victorian era than is not relevant in todays society. It is more of a male dominance driven act than one of courtesy.
I still open doors, walk on the traffic side of the footway, pull out the chair for the lady and give flowers. But ordering dinner, no. Do I would not refer to my companion as anything to the waiter.

 

 

3C91E4AC-11D6-420F-8C78-AF544F1DE609.jpeg

838F489B-E7F7-46E7-85D9-AAE6806EA59F.jpeg

  • Like 5
  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I grew up watching my father treat my Mama like a Lady.

This taught me how to treat my wife.

We'll get the menu and go through it and we'll make wit' da smart remarks and laugh, and when the waitress arrives ... well, laughter is contagious, and they seem to like it when their customers are in a good mood and greet her with a smile.

I'll nod to my wife and say "You go first, Sweet Pea," and we take it from there.

Besides, my wife has more than earned the right to be treated like the Lady she is!

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The etiquette I was raised on said the Lady orders first. I find most servers also ask the Ladies first most of the time. Even when there is more than one in the party.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Utah Bob #35998 said:

walk on the traffic side of the footway

This one I don't always do.

 

We walk side by side and we walk to the right side of the path (like driving traffic flow here in the US).

 

My wife and I often hold hands as we walk; and (even tho I am a Gunfighter) my dominant hand is my left.

So as my carry firearm is located on my left - I keep that hand free. 

 

My right hand intertwined with her left allows me to maneuver her if needed - to place myself in a better defensive position or simply because I observe something she may miss (I tend to scan - she tends to sightsee). 

And she has learned to react to very subtle moves on my part to ensure she is moving away from any danger (real or perceived on my part).

But this "always on my right" placement necessity does put my wife on the vehicle traffic side of the path sometimes.

 

I will admit to one inequality when we eat out - I am the one who chooses the booth and seating positions.  And if taken to a table or booth by the host; I will request different if I am uncomfortable with the positioning.

Edited by Creeker, SASS #43022
  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

29 minutes ago, Eyesa Horg said:

The etiquette I was raised on said the Lady orders first. I find most servers also ask the Ladies first most of the time. Even when there is more than one in the party.

Those are the good servers. The ones who don’t day, “And what would you guys like tonight” :angry:

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

38 minutes ago, Creeker, SASS #43022 said:

I will admit to one inequality when we eat out - I am the one to who chooses the booth and seating positions.  And if taken to a table or booth by the host; I will request different if I am uncomfortable with the positioning.

I'm the same way. And my wife knows without discussion that I will be taking the seat giving me the best view of the place. 

26 minutes ago, Utah Bob #35998 said:

Those are the good servers. The ones who don’t day, “And what would you guys like tonight” :angry:

I have been known to ask, "Does my wife look like a GUY?!?! to a male server. Most women servers don't call us "guys". 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My wife just naturally sits so that I get the view of the place! Rarely any discussion there.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 2/20/2024 at 8:07 PM, Abilene Slim SASS 81783 said:

I see this a lot on this forum. Why is it “the” wife in instead of “my” wife? Sounds like she’s an employee like, “the” maid. 

 

i hear you there - ive seen it some , i would never refer to mine as "the" and she shows the same respect , i might on an occasion call her my "better half" which she is , ive been blessed for nearly 40 years to have her in my life and 33 of those as my wife , i did have two other lives before this and i know what im talking about with this one , 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.