Linn Keller, SASS 27332, BOLD 103 Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 Yes, I am maligning the young, and I am allowed to do that. Matter of fact I've been doing that freely and wholeheartedly for the past two days. Y'see, between my ears, I'm still eighteen years old. As I write this, the rest of my carcass thinks that eighteen year old part of me is an utter, absolute, unmitigated, IDIOT!!! Here's what happened. We had snow. My wife was scheduled for a doc's appointment first thing the next morning. Snow was coming down fine and fast, the kind that builds up. I took up the snow pusher shovel, peeled the driveway down to the bare. Twice. When Sailor-dog's 3 AM bladder alarm went off, I rolled out of the bunk and let him out. In fairness, his alarm and mine go off about the same time. I am grateful I can blame the dog for getting up at such an unholy hour. An hour later I still couldn't get back to sleep so I got my glad rags on and cleared the driveway. Again. Then I looked over at the widow woman's drive next door. She's in her 90s and likely she'd have family coming in as they usually did, so I took my shovel and the rest of my ambition and started on hers. Got it down to the bare. Among the various body parts uttering their profound maledictions at my ambition, my back spoke the loudest: I ignored my several physical complaints and finished the job, then I went back over to my own hacienda and peeled the half inch accumulation from my own concrete before I parked the shovel, went inside and took a nice hot shower. Between my ears I'm still eighteen. The rest of me thinks I'm an idiot!!! 3 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rip Snorter Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 First act necessary, the second generous! Good on you! 7 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot, SASS #13748 Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 I call that Ibuprofen Ambition. I also call that being a darn good neighbor. 8 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Duncan Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 I've almost accepted the fact that I'm no longer eighteen years of age and invincible...almost. I have noticed the second story roof gutters are higher than what they were 25 years ago, the extension ladder is now heavier and the ground is harder because I don't bounce as well as I once did. 6 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 I ain’t got nothin’ ta’ say!! I’m way too stupid to recognize my age and limitations!! We’ll just let it go at that!! 6 1 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abilene Slim SASS 81783 Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 I dress up in cowboy duds and play with guns. I’m still 8 years old. 6 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 My inner idiot is more like 25 years old. I think I'm as spry as I was at 18 and think that at that exalted age of 25 I know what I'm doing. 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 My inner 18 year old is lazy and made me buy a snow-blower. 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michigan Slim Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 My girls tell me I'm closer to twelve. Most of my cowboy pards agree. 1 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyesa Horg Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 31 minutes ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: My inner 18 year old is lazy and made me buy a snow-blower. Mine got an F-250 with an 8 1/2 foot plow! 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 3 hours ago, Matthew Duncan said: I've almost accepted the fact that I'm no longer eighteen years of age and invincible...almost. I have noticed the second story roof gutters are higher than what they were 25 years ago, the extension ladder is now heavier and the ground is harder because I don't bounce as well as I once did. I don't bounce anymore at all. Part of me breaks like a bag of potato chips with marbles added. The rest just splats like a wet dish rag. None of it gets up and / or recovers worth a tinker's dam.....and it's almost impossible to tell my body that I'm not 27 years old and now crowding 81. 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 This is the birthday card that my sister-in-law sent me!! 4 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 What goes around comes around. Someday somebody will do you some favors. Right now a couple young women clean the snow off my car. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 14 minutes ago, Blackwater 53393 said: This is the birthday card that my sister-in-law sent me!! I took a vacation day yesterday so I could take Mrs. Doc's horse to a vet specialist. We had snow, so I had to clean off my truck. When I finished, I hit ice, did my impression of Super Dave Osborne, hitting the back of my head on my bumper before slamming hard on the ground. To paraphrase our own Mr. Keller, I didn't see any stars, but I will lay claim to the moons of Jupiter. I still have a headache today, and my body is hurting more as the day goes on. I'm looking forward to more snow tonight. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texas Joker Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 The leading cause of injury in old men is thinking they are young men 8 3 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michigan Slim Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 My pride and stubbornness often win out over my wifes common sense. 2 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tex Wilson Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 5 hours ago, Abilene Slim SASS 81783 said: I dress up in cowboy duds and play with guns. I’m still 8 years old. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Me too! 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot, SASS #13748 Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 1 hour ago, DocWard said: I took a vacation day yesterday so I could take Mrs. Doc's horse to a vet specialist. We had snow, so I had to clean off my truck. When I finished, I hit ice, did my impression of Super Dave Osborne, hitting the back of my head on my bumper before slamming hard on the ground. To paraphrase our own Mr. Keller, I didn't see any stars, but I will lay claim to the moons of Jupiter. I still have a headache today, and my body is hurting more as the day goes on. I'm looking forward to more snow tonight. Maybe you should get checked out. Head injuries are nothing to fool with. 7 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted January 25 Share Posted January 25 1 hour ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said: Maybe you should get checked out. Head injuries are nothing to fool with. I've been contemplating it 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lone Spur Jake SASS #7728 Posted January 25 Share Posted January 25 If nobody else does, God will bless you for what you did for your 90 year old neighbor. I can hear your back flaming at you, but I can also hear your heart loving you. 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted January 25 Share Posted January 25 You’re only physically an idiot. Not in your heart and spirit. 3 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Duncan Posted January 26 Share Posted January 26 (edited) On 1/24/2023 at 7:06 PM, DocWard said: I've been contemplating it Well if you wake up dead tomorrow you’ll know you should have. Edited January 26 by Matthew Duncan 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted January 26 Share Posted January 26 9 hours ago, Matthew Duncan said: We if you wake up dead tomorrow you’ll know you should have. Funny thing, I told my co-worker that exact same thing yesterday. Seems I didn't. I don't think so, at any rate. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted January 26 Share Posted January 26 On 1/24/2023 at 1:44 PM, DocWard said: I took a vacation day yesterday so I could take Mrs. Doc's horse to a vet specialist. We had snow, so I had to clean off my truck. When I finished, I hit ice, did my impression of Super Dave Osborne, hitting the back of my head on my bumper before slamming hard on the ground. To paraphrase our own Mr. Keller, I didn't see any stars, but I will lay claim to the moons of Jupiter. I still have a headache today, and my body is hurting more as the day goes on. I'm looking forward to more snow tonight. GET YOUR ASS TO A DOCTOR! Trust me when I tell you a head injury is nothing to ignore....unless you are potentially suicidal. Don't prove me right by dying or becoming permanently disabled. I'm rapidly running out of friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caladisi kid Posted January 26 Share Posted January 26 (edited) WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DOG???? Edited January 26 by Caladisi kid 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 3 hours ago, Forty Rod SASS 3935 said: GET YOUR ASS TO A DOCTOR! Trust me when I tell you a head injury is nothing to ignore....unless you are potentially suicidal. Don't prove me right by dying or becoming permanently disabled. I'm rapidly running out of friends. The less we discuss suicidal ideation, the better. As for my head, trust me when I say I'm unfortunately well versed on the dangers of head injuries. The headache is gone today, but I was paying very close attention to it. Had it gone past the dull "this sucks, but I can live with it" stage, to any symptoms of nausea, dizziness, vertigo, pressure, etc... I would have made a beeline for the ER. My body is still aching, particularly my left side and lower back. A part of me is actually wondering if the headache wasn't caused by the forward snap of my neck when I contacted the bumper. My neck had been stiff and hurting, and last night and again this morning it popped and cracked a couple of times louder and more noticeable than usual, and feels much improved today also. In retrospect, that could have been a true danger. I do truly appreciate your concern, and that of everyone who has thought to chime in. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 5 hours ago, Caladisi kid said: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DOG???? He made some yellow snow, then went back to bed, like any good dog. 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 I stepped into a big ole pile of ambition once. I decided to hollow out a big log to make a canoe. It was days and days of back breaking work. Chipping away and clearing out the inside of that big log really took it out of me. But! The satisfaction of making it ugly, crooked, and not water worthy was well worth it. Because NOW, I watch where I step to avoid tripping over anymore of them nasty ambitions. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watab kid Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 been wakin up for years expecting to shave that 18 year old face , ive finally given up and regrown my beard i had tears ago , kinda let my hair grow too but i hate going to get it cut these days so we wont talk of that , at least till spring anyway , i hear the aches and pains and sympathize ...i suspect we all overdo it a bit this point in life , just reminds us we are still alive , i too am up at regular intervals to walk the dog so to speak except he still sleeps through the night - his time is comin tho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lone Spur Jake SASS #7728 Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 Getting "aged", not talking about fine wine, is not for "SISSIES." Remember when we were young and virile and would say things like: "Up The Hill, Me First Sarge, I'll Lay On The Grenade." OR "Fastest Horses, Younger Women, Older Whiskey, More Money." OR "Sex, Drugs, Rock-N-Roll Baby." YEAH!!!! NOW IT'S!!!! "Can't Even Walk To The Mail Box Without My Oxygen Tank." "No Horses, No Women, No Whiskey, No Money." "No Sex, Pepto Bismol, No Loud Music." But at least we grew up in a better world that, unfortunately, our kids and grandkids are growing up in. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 ...... once I was young and fun ........... ... now I have to turn down the radio so I can see better ...... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Springfield Slim SASS #24733 Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 I went to the gym with my wife about 3 weeks ago, because my 19 year old son doesn't want to go anymore, says he isn't fat and doesn't need it! So, we were doing weight machines, and I had my wife go first and then did twice the weight she was doing, as it was pretty close to what I felt like doing. Until we got to one machine, and it just seemed too light, so I opened my big mouth and said " let's triple it!" 2 days later my right shoulder hurt, but I says to myself, it'll get better in a couple of days, no pain no gain, right? Wrong. After a week I went to my regular Dr. appt., had him look at it, and it seems one of the muscles had pulled out of it's track, and maybe torn a bit besides. He put it back, showed me how to tape it in place, and said be very careful with it. Finally, 2 weeks later it doesn't hurt and wake me up in the morning. Didn't hurt to use it, just a dull pain in the morning., which is finally gone. I have to keep telling myself, I'm not in my 50's anymore. And as for the kid, he just started training to be a light rail train operator, except they start him out on buses to pass his class B license. For the first week he was complaining that by the end of the day he was so tired that if he had to hold the brake down for too long his leg started shaking. So now he has agreed to go back to the gym with me, fat or no fat, to strengthen his skinny legs up. I didn't laugh in his face when he told me this, but I did smile a bit Call me fat, will ya! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mud Marine,SASS#54686 Life Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 You know you are a bit elderly when you worry about not having a spare tire on your walker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mud Marine,SASS#54686 Life Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 You know you are really old when beautiful girls open the door for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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