A New Record - Ford Pickup Chimes

[Dusty Devil Dale]

Last evening I set what I believe is a new world record for the number of chimes from an F250 pickup.

 

First, I unfastened my seat belt to get out to open my gate (15 chimes 5 sets of 3 notes -ding ding ding - ding ding ding - ding ding ding - ding ding ding- ding ding ding).

 

Then I opened the driver door with the engine running (15 more chimes).  But I also had the headlights on (15 more).  And I set the parking break before putting it in Park (15 more).  

My wife said OMG, covered her hearing aids and got out of the truck for the duration of the 60- note symphony. 

Afterward, she climbed back in and I carefully thought through the process to avoid more chimes in drivingvthrough the gate.  I climbed in, fastened the belt, turned off the headlights,  released the parking break, put it in gear and drove through the gate. 

 

BUT THEN I realized I had to get out again to close the gate.  I placed it in Park, set the parking break (it's a steep hill). I left the lights off, I turned off the engine, and opened the door.  Success!

 

After closing the gate, I climbed back into the seat, closed the door, started the engine, turned on the lights, released the Parking brake and put it in gear --But wait -- It wouldn't go into gear, because the truck weight was settled forward with the tranny in Park, and the shift lever wouldn't budge-- jambed by the interlock.  Resting on a hill, there was no option except to go get a tractor and pull the truck gently rearward, put the tranny into gear, and hopefully proceed.  A half hour later, I was on the road.  Following my new complicated  entry protocols, I managed to avoid more irritating chimes.

But when I put the tranny in Drive, I got 15 more chimes to tell me I had a trailer connected, then 5 more to tell me the trailer brake was set at a gain of 3.5.  

After a total of 80 chimes, I was talking to myself in language I don't often use -- swearing NEVER to buy another Ford product.

 

It is a very fine piece of musical engineering.  I wish that much effort had gone into the design of the rest of the truck.  When I disconnected the trailer light plug thus morning, the pin pulled out of the cheap extruded plastic socket receptacle on the truck. A $58 socket replacement, including shipping!

 

.

[Rip Snorter]

I think you can remove the noisemaker (I would!).  When that kind of thing started, some vehicles had a programming option.  Never had a Ford Truck, so no idea if you can reprogram.

[Dusty Devil Dale]

5 minutes ago, Rip Snorter said:

I think you can remove the noisemaker (I would!).  When that kind of thing started, some vehicles had a programming option.  Never had a Ford Truck, so no idea if you can reprogram.

Unfortunately, the chimes are integrated into the computer programming of the various functions.  The Ford dealerships all tell us owners that the chimes can't be disconnected or muted.  I'm about ready to poke a screwdriver through all of the interior speakers.  (and yes, the chimes are stereo-- coming through all of the speakers. I guess that's to be sure everybody gets to hear their geeky symphony.) 

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

Aren't you all sick and tired of people (governments, manufacturers, retailers, schools, and almost everyone else) forcing their crap on us.....AND MAKING US PAY FOR IT?

[Rip Snorter]

15 minutes ago, Dusty Devil Dale said:

Unfortunately, the chimes are integrated into the computer programming of the various functions.  The Ford dealerships all tell us owners that the chimes can't be disconnected or muted.  I'm about ready to poke a screwdriver through all of the interior speakers.  (and yes, the chimes are stereo-- coming through all of the speakers. I guess that's to be sure everybody gets to hear their geeky symphony.) 

Just life in the Regulated lane! 

[Dusty Devil Dale]

2 hours ago, Forty Rod SASS 3935 said:

Aren't you all sick and tired of people (governments, manufacturers, retailers, schools, and almost everyone else) forcing their crap on us.....AND MAKING US PAY FOR IT?

YES.   

[Utah Bob #35998]

I had a 1970 Datsun 210 IIRC. It had an irritating buzzer that wouldn’t shut off until you closed the door and started the car. One morning I‘d had enough of it. While it squealed it‘s little electric lungs out I reached under the dash and felt around for the vibration. I wrapped my fingers around a small box and twisted and yanked while laughing insanely. It squalled And bleated until I yanked it loose from it’s bracket. The wires parted  (I would have bitten them though if they hadn’t). 
With a pop and a slight smell of ozone the devilish contrivance hissed and died. I it out the window toward the apartment dumpster as it’s 12 volt soul departed for auto parts Hell. 
It was a tremendously satisfying moment. I was still chuckling when I got to work.

[Wallaby Damned]

My old (93’! ) Dodge Cummins had TWIN buzzers under the dash; one was for the door open I think, the other was for the heater grid (Cummins version of glow plugs). Turning the key on in the mornings after a rough night of honkytonkin’ we’re enough to make you think you were in the cockpit of a B52 on its way down. Luckily, both “buzzer cubes” were removable. 

[Dusty Devil Dale]

I'm sure the tech heads at Ford have a feedback listening device that disables the truck if the device fails to hear the chimes -- On second thought, pls just forget that I brought that idea up.  

[Sedalia Dave]

2 hours ago, Utah Bob #35998 said:

I had a 1970 Datsun 210 IIRC. It had an irritating buzzer that wouldn’t shut off until you closed the door and started the car. One morning I‘d had enough of it. While it squealed it‘s little electric lungs out I reached under the dash and felt around for the vibration. I wrapped my fingers around a small box and twisted and yanked while laughing insanely. It squalled And bleated until I yanked it loose from it’s bracket. The wires parted  (I would have bitten them though if they hadn’t). 
With a pop and a slight smell of ozone the devilish contrivance hissed and died. I it out the window toward the apartment dumpster as it’s 12 volt soul departed for auto parts Hell. 
It was a tremendously satisfying moment. I was still chuckling when I got to work.

 

Tried that in a truck and discovered really quick that the truck wouldn't run without the cube. A small drill bit run through the speaker muted it considerably. Allowing it to be reinstalled while also preserving my sanity.

[Sedalia Dave]

I smell a possible class action suit for the pain and suffering all those chimes do to people with hearing aids.

[Utah Bob #35998]

26 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said:

 

Tried that in a truck and discovered really quick that the truck wouldn't run without the cube. A small drill bit run through the speaker muted it considerably. Allowing it to be reinstalled while also preserving my sanity.

Yeah with todays computerized vehicles that wouldn’t work I’m sure.

[sassnetguy50]

Have you tried shifting from D to N, set the parking brake, then from N to P?  In the reverse order for takeoff.