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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

Subdeacon Joe

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1 hour ago, Blackwater 53393 said:

I’ll see your advertisement and raise you…





Yeh, I don't think so! The tar, gravel, rubber, & hair, sound especially tantalizing.

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Trust. Heh.


I've never done this. But I've seen it - tv, movies. "Trust building exercise". You show trust in your - it's most often your fellow employees - by standing there with your back to them and falling backwards, trusting that they will catch you.


I wouldn't do it. If I fall and somebody catches me, that's a wonderful thing. And I would be happy and I would most likely thank them for catching me.


But to deliberately fall, trusting that someone will catch you just because? That's stupidity.

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A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.
He said, "Today, in church I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind."
The pastor shouted out, "Cross."
Immediately the congregation started singing in unison "The Old Rugged Cross."
The Pastor hollered out "Grace." The congregation began to sing "Amazing Grace."
The Pastor said "Power." The congregation sang "There is Power in the Blood."
The Pastor said "Sex." The congregation fell in stunned silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything.
Then, all of a sudden way, from in the back of the church, a little 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing "Precious Memories."
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4 hours ago, Alpo said:

humor Amazon.webp


    ...... won't work ................ porch pirates will steal them all before he comes home .........

             ....... and if they don't he'll be suspicious .....  -_-

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Unplanned puns and d&d.


For some reason the people I played with seemed to think that I was both younger than I was and very naive.


One night Joanne, who was a cleric of Aphrodite, said something about the villain had broken into her chambers, and she was just standing there in her teddy.


Then she turns to me and asked me if I knew what a teddy was.


I told her soitanly I did - it was a little bear.


And the unplanned pun was that of course a teddy is a little bare.


The game fell apart for about 10 minutes, and tellUNTIL people could return to the seriousness of murder and mayhem and looting.

Edited by Alpo
onea these days otto - POW! to the moon
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Kiwanis pancake days.


I took my mother there one year. We were meeting several of her friends, so there was six of us all together. The people at that breakfast were some of the sloppiest people I've ever seen. The syrup bottles were just covered. So everybody had sticky fingers.


Mama reaches in her purse and pulls out a wet wipe from Sonny's BBQ. Carefully tears it open and wipes off her hands. Gives it to me and I wipe my hands. Then I hand it across the table to Sara, and she gives it to her husband, and he gives it to their daughter and she gives it to her husband, and when we all have got clean hands they give it back to Mama. And she folds it back up and puts it back in the little pouch from Sonny's.


Then we all eat some more pancakes, which got us all sticky again, so out comes that same wet wipe, and we all cleaned up again.

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