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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread


Subdeacon Joe

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12 hours ago, Alpo said:

I ordered a holster. The snap did not work. It snapped but it would not unsnap. Fortunately I tried snapping it before I put a gun in it. So I got in touch with the manufacturer and said I want my money back this thing is doesn't work, and they wanted the picture showing that it didn't work.

 

So I had 100 lb weight sitting in a hand truck, and I clamped the holster to the top of the hand truck, and then taking hold of the safety strap I tried to get it to unlatch.

 

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Best idea I could come up with. How do you show a picture of something doesn't work?

 

 

I send a short video.

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Lil Boo Boo, wanted a hundred dollars real bad.  He prayed for ‘bout two weeks, but nuttin’ happened.   Den he decided to write GOD a letter axing for de $100. 

When de postal authorities received dat letter to GOD, U.S.A., dey decided to send it to da president.  

Well de president waz so impressed, touched, and amused by dat letter, he tole his secretary to send de boy $5.00.

De president taught dat de $5 would look like a lot of money to de little boy.

Lil Boo Boo waz real happy when he got dat $5 and sat rat down an’ wrote a t’ank you note to GOD dat read: 

"Dear God, T’ank you very much for sending me de money

He den wrote, However, I did notice dat for some reason you had to send it tru Washington, D.C., and, as usual, dey deducted $95.00

Edited by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984
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One morning Thibodeaux was sitting on his dock enjoying the sunrise when Boudreaux pulls up in his boat filled with duct tape. Thibodeaux looks at him, and asks "what you doing with a boat full of duct tape?" Boudreaux replies "I'm going duck hunting! You wanna come?" "You can't hunt ducks with duct tape, and no I ain't coming" replied Thibodeaux. So Boudreaux leaves. Later in the day Thibodeaux sees Boudreaux fly by in his boat, and low and behold its full of ducks. "Well i'll be damned!" says Thibodeaux.

The next morning as Thibodeaux is enjoying the sunrise, Boudreaux pulls up in his boat again, this time with a boat full of gatorade. Sarcastically Thibodeaux says "Let me guess, you gonna catch gators with gatorade?" "Yep, you wanna come?" says Boudreaux. "You can't catch gators with gatorade...No I ain't coming!" So Boudreaux leaves. Later that day Thibodeaux sees Boudreaux fly by in his boat, and it was filled with gators. "Well i'll be damned!" says Thibodeaux.

The next morning as Thibodeaux is enjoying the sunrise, Boudreaux pulls up in his boat agian...this time with a boat full of pussy willows. Thibodeaux thinks for a second and says..."Hold on let me get my hat"

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I had a rough childhood...I had to help my dad build the house I was born in, but then my mother died six months before I was born and left me to raise my younger brother and sister all by myself.

I've never recovered...

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One morning Thibodeaux was sitting under the tree in his front yard patching holes in his shrimp net. His neighbor, Boudreaux, came out his front door, waved to Thibodeaux, and walked to his mailbox. He looked in the box, scratched his head a minute, and went back inside.

Half hour later Thibodeaux was still patching when Boudreaux checked his mailbox again. This time he slammed the box shut and walked back inside mumbling.

Another half hour passed-Thibodeaux was still patching. Boudreaux stomped to his mailbox, yanked it open, looked in, and slammed it shut. He took a deep breath and started back into the house.

“Boudreaux, what’s wrong?” Thibodeaux yelled.

“Dat computer my boy give me has lost its mind,” Boudreaux replied walking into the shade.

“You got a computer? I didn’t know dat,” Thibodeaux said.

“Yeah, Pierre give it to me yesterday-all hooked up to dat inner Net,” Boudreaux replied.

“Pierre. Dat’s a good boy you got. What’s he doin now?” Thibodeaux asked.

“He’s workin’ over in N”Awlins, got a good job,” Boudreaux answered.

So what’s wrong with de computer?’ Thibodeaux asked.

“It just plain lost its mind,” Boudreaux replied. “You saw me. Tree times I looked in dat box. Dere ain’t nothin’ dere. But dat computer keeps sayin’ ‘YOU’VE GOT MAIL’.”

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