Brock Posted September 6 Posted September 6 During the service the priest directed his new usher, Pax, the pass the collection plate among the congregation. After noting particularly high totals and hearing a few complaints from the parish, he called Pax into his office. ”I did not say ‘Pax go frisk ‘em’” 1 2 Quote
Brock Posted September 6 Posted September 6 It was autumn and a man was selling pumpkins by the side of the road. His sign read: 1 for $3 3 for $10 A young man stops and buys one. “That’ll be $3,” says the old man. The young man pays and starts to leave, then stops. “Actually, I’ll take another one.” “That’ll be $3.” He pays, then says, “You know what? I’ll take one more.” “Another $3.” The young man pays for all three, picks up his pumpkins, and starts walking away. Then he turns around with a proud grin. “Hey, old man! You realize I just bought three pumpkins for $9 instead of $10? Maybe business isn’t your thing.” The old man smiles and shakes his head. “Funny… every time someone comes by, they buy three pumpkins instead of one, and then try to teach me business.” 7 1 4 Quote
Brock Posted September 7 Posted September 7 Quote What a difference one word can make. One of the Christian Ten Commandments is “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” But in a 1631 printing of the Bible, the word “not” was missing, and the seventh commandment read, “Thou shalt commit adultery.” Most of the misprinted copies were gathered, burned, and destroyed (much to the chagrin of collectors today), and the printers of the Bible were fined 300 pounds — equivalent to over 50,000 GBP in today’s money — for the mistake. 3 2 Quote
Brock Posted September 7 Posted September 7 Tommy came home and told his dad he got a part in a school play. He would be playing a man who had been married 30 years. Dad said “ That’s great maybe next time maybe you’ll get a speaking part.” 3 3 Quote
Brock Posted September 9 Posted September 9 Two cannibalis were talking … The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've tried every sort of marinade. I just can't seem to get them tender." The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?" The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads." "Ah, hah!" the second cannibal replies. "No wonder...those are friars!" 1 4 Quote
Rip Snorter Posted September 9 Posted September 9 Old version just a little different, tagline "No wonder, you baked a Friar." 5 Quote
Brock Posted September 9 Posted September 9 Then there's the one about the chip monk and the fish friar. 4 1 Quote
Brock Posted September 10 Posted September 10 A man, dining in a cafe, left 3 pennys for a tip. The waitress told him “I am a witch, and will tell all about you, from what each penny tells me.” Picking one up, she examined both sides, and set it down. “This penny tells me you are a Scot.” she said. The man replied “That is no big trick; my accent and kilt give that much away.” Picking up another penny, the waitress examines both sides of it, and lays it next to the first one. “This penny tells me that you are a bachelor.” she pronounced. The man scoffed “I am not wearing a ring, and am dining alone, so that is easy to see, also.” The waitress picked up the last penny, examined it, and laid it by the two others. Then, she said ”This penny tells me your father was a bachelor, also.” 2 5 Quote
Brock Posted September 10 Posted September 10 A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit enter a clinic to donate blood. A nurse asked the rabbit if he knew what his blood type was. “I think I might be a type O.” 1 2 Quote
Brock Posted September 10 Posted September 10 https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dc4APFOMp-Y/?stkn=YTViMDVrdnhhcXNy 1 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 11 Author Posted September 11 "You are exactly the reason survival manuals have pictures." "He'd climb over a glass wall to see what's on the other side." 1 4 Quote
Brock Posted September 12 Posted September 12 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DdFeD8TC--p/?stkn=MTV3czVya2ptdXRmaA== 1 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 12 Author Posted September 12 4 hours ago, Brock said: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DdFeD8TC--p/?stkn=MTV3czVya2ptdXRmaA== The next one for me https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dc3RF6co9zH/?stkn=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== And 5 after that https://www.instagram.com/reel/DdFaykFgYgd/?stkn=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== 2 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 12 Author Posted September 12 Dammit, Brock!!! You keep getting me into Instagram rabbit holes! Lovely dress! https://www.instagram.com/reel/DcNgzQ1M0FV/?stkn=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== 2 Quote
Brock Posted September 12 Posted September 12 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DaSkLgATkNj/?stkn=djAwcWx3Znd4eHE0 1 1 Quote
Brock Posted September 12 Posted September 12 Adopt a Coloradan https://www.instagram.com/reel/DdKU-qbSjbr/?stkn=cDRsNjlkbmJoeWNp 1 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 12 Author Posted September 12 https://www.facebook.com/markus1957/videos/2032782957381944/?idorvanity=1283545299003652&ref=share&mibextid=9drbnH 1 Quote
Brock Posted September 13 Posted September 13 Ivan Ivanovich wanted to grow his herd so he went tio Minsk to buy another cow and brought it home. Everytime his bull got near the cow it move to the other side of the pasture. Frustrated, Ivan asked his Rabbi what he could do. The Rabbi asked, "did you buy the cow in Minsk?" Ivan "Yes how did you know?" Rabbi "My wife is from Minsk." 6 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 14 Author Posted September 14 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DcBw5WMqm6K/?stkn=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 14 Author Posted September 14 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZlAbvYR7oE/?stkn=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== 1 Quote
Brock Posted September 14 Posted September 14 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DdPE0dGhbay/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&stkn=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ== Quote
Brock Posted September 14 Posted September 14 https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dc8zVJ3TQeW/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&stkn=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ== Quote
Brock Posted September 14 Posted September 14 My wife woke up with a big smile on her face. I love Sharpies. 2 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted September 14 Author Posted September 14 24 minutes ago, Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L said: No, Joe. Just step away from that. 1 Quote
Chicken Rustler, SASS #26680 Posted September 14 Posted September 14 2 hours ago, Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L said: The trick is you gotta get the dinosaur drunk too, then it will be a fun day for both of you Quote
Eyesa Horg Posted September 14 Posted September 14 On 9/12/2026 at 7:53 PM, Subdeacon Joe said: I fear we're going down the proverbial toilet! Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.