Brock Posted July 12 Posted July 12 A worried patient asked his doctor, "Doc, what can I do to live longer?" The doctor asks, "Do you enjoy fatty foods and desserts?" "Yes." says the patient "Stop eating them" says the doc. "and do you go to bars and drink and smoke? "Yes" "Well, stop that too" says the doc "And do you live an adventurous life? "Yes" "Well, tone that down" explains the doc. The patient sighed, "So if I give that up, I will live longer? The doctor shrugged, "Probably not. But the week you have left will feel like 10 years. 1 3 Quote
Brock Posted July 13 Posted July 13 A receptionist calls a psychologist and says, "Doctor, there is a patient here who thinks he's invisible." The psychologist replies, "Tell him I can't see him right now". 1 1 Quote
Brock Posted July 13 Posted July 13 If a patient is diagnosed with kleptomania, does the doctor give him something to take? 2 3 1 Quote
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted July 13 Posted July 13 21 hours ago, Alpo said: Guy I worked with had a VW van from the 60's, bumper sticker was " I can't drive 55". 1 3 Quote
Brock Posted July 14 Posted July 14 O’Reilly got a job at the Guinness brewery. He had a terrible accident and company officials went to console his wife. Mrs. O'Reilly, I so sad to tell you, your husband fell into the giant tank of beer." His wife was in tears. "Oh my god... were you able to pull him out?" The company reps told her, "Yes, the first two times, but after he went back in the third time... 4 Quote
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted July 15 Posted July 15 Stolen from Fake Book. Redneck Chainsaw. 2 3 Quote
Brock Posted July 16 Posted July 16 Was watching a show and it reminded me of "keep your booger finger off the bang switch". 1 Quote
Brock Posted July 16 Posted July 16 Quote White House teleprompter operator used his position to win around $100,000 by placing bets on the prediction market Kalshi about what President Trump would say in his speeches, the company said on Thursday. It was the latest accusation that someone had used inside information to make a profit on a prediction market like Kalshi and Polymarket, which have grown rapidly and transformed into cultural phenomena. 3 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted July 16 Author Posted July 16 4 hours ago, Alpo said: OK, who, on the last one, added the "hmm, oh yeah!" to it? 1 Quote
Brock Posted July 16 Posted July 16 Quote When Taft took office in 1909, Congress appropriated $12,000 to purchase the first official White House automobiles — a controversial decision at the time. Critics argued that automobiles were nuisances and questioned whether taxpayer money should be spent on such extravagant machines. Nevertheless, the purchase went forward, marking the beginning of the presidential motor fleet. 4 Quote
Brock Posted July 16 Posted July 16 https://www.instagram.com/reel/Da0d_0PPWCb/?igsh=MXA1aTRpOW1yNXRpZw== 3 Quote
Brock Posted July 17 Posted July 17 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DapuxinTMDZ/?igsh=MWRidm91aGI2dmYyZw== 2 1 Quote
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