It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Alpo]

[Rye Miles #13621]

[Sedalia Dave]

 

[Alpo]

[John Kloehr]

Intersting insight into the Bible. Did not know when judgement day came, men would arrive a 1/2 hour before women.

 

Look for yourself, Revelation 8:1:

 

"When the Lamb opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour"

[Alpo]

[John Kloehr]

From:

 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1017258899258118/permalink/1763432501307417/?_rdr

 

"

 

FREE ROOSTER- Demon in a feather suit.

Up for rehoming one extremely effective, deeply unpleasant rooster who has taken his job way too seriously and now believes he is the final boss of the property.

 

HIGHLIGHTS-

Protects his hens like they’re under federal protection.

Zero fear, zero hesitation, zero interest in your safety.

Stunning bird, absolute menace.

 

LET ME BE VERY CLEAR

He does not like people, not you, not me. Not anyone!

This is not a “he just needs love situation” he received love but rejected it. Violently!

He will not bond with you. He will however identify your weaknesses and exploit them.

If you enter his space, you are not the owner - you are an intruder, and he will respond accordingly.

Daily experiences include -

Surprise attacks from a bird that weighs less than your groceries, but hits like he has a grudge.

Making eye contact and immediately regretting it.

Questioning how something with feathers can carry so much hostility.

 

IDEAL HOME.

Someone experienced with roosters, a strong sense of humor, quick reflexes, and possibly shin guards. Best for a setup where he can protect his hens without needing to interact with humans unless absolutely necessary (and even the, good luck).

 

REASON FOR REHOMING

We enjoy farming, he enjoys violence!

These goals no longer align!

 

"

[Subdeacon Joe]

11 hours ago, John Kloehr said:

Intersting insight into the Bible. Did not know when judgement day came, men would arrive a 1/2 hour before women.

 

Look for yourself, Revelation 8:1:

 

"When the Lamb opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour"

 

That's an erroneous interpretation. 

The women arrived well before the men.  In the Greek the word used means "the silent glare" or "the cold silence." St. Jerome mistranslated it in the Vulgate Bible.

[Alpo]

[Alpo]

[Sedalia Dave]

Every time you make a plan, the universe chuckles, rolls a die, and sends a Vogon poet to narrate your downfall.

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

On 5/7/2026 at 7:13 PM, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

I guess they can now add this!

 

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

On 5/9/2026 at 6:29 AM, Alpo said:

Once I have learned how to pronounce it  some jackass comes along and asks me to spell it, too.

[Subdeacon Joe]

1 hour ago, Forty Rod SASS 3935 said:

Once I have learned how to pronounce it  some jackass comes along and asks me to spell it, too.

 

Obviously you spelled it by mispronouncing it.

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Alpo]

That one seems to be missing the punchline.

[Subdeacon Joe]

27 minutes ago, Alpo said:

That one seems to be missing the punchline.

 

Nope.  You're missing the punchline. 

[Sedalia Dave]

 

An Ellisville school teacher called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

 

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.

 

The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.

 

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

 

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.

 

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

 

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.

 

4.. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.

 

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

 

This demonstrates that some problems CAN be solved by pissing and moaning.

 

Thought you'd like to know.

[Alpo]

2 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

Nope.  You're missing the punchline. 

would not be the first time.

[Alpo]

2 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

Nope.  You're missing the punchline. 

And now I get it.

[Eyesa Horg]

2 hours ago, Sedalia Dave said:

 

An Ellisville school teacher called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

 

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.

 

The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.

 

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

 

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.

 

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

 

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.

 

4.. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.

 

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

 

This demonstrates that some problems CAN be solved by pissing and moaning.

 

Thought you'd like to know.

Actually went out on a trouble like that once! The phone still rang but the dog would get zapped! After party lines went away, the ground was no longer needed for the ringer to work. My customer was on the ring side of an old party line so it didn't need to be rewired when party lines went away . Poor doggie, that ringing current hurts!! It was closer to 105V in our system.

[Eyesa Horg]

2 hours ago, Alpo said:

And now I get it.

Well explain it to my lame arse!

Edited May 11 by Eyesa Horg
Scrambled words

[John Kloehr]

1 hour ago, Alpo said:

And now I get it.

Don't feel bad, is did passover my head for a short bit.

[Subdeacon Joe]

1 hour ago, Alpo said:

And now I get it.

 

Figured you'd get it after a while 

 

36 minutes ago, John Kloehr said:

Don't feel bad, is did passover my head for a short bit.

 

Well played!

[Alpo]

3 hours ago, Eyesa Horg said:

Well explain it to my lame arse!

I took what the queen said - why is this knight different from any other knight - did the search on that but leaving the K off. Why is this NIGHT different than any other NIGHT.

Turns out that that's the beginning of something during the Sedar, and it's actually what he was saying - in Hebrew.

 

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ma_Nishtana

 

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Alpo]

[Alpo]

[Alpo]

[Alpo]

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Alpo]

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

23 hours ago, Alpo said:

 

 

  ... the answer to # 5  is the same in Australia too

 

 

 

Edited May 20 by Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062
speeling erer