Subdeacon Joe Posted February 2 Author Posted February 2 So the aircraft is on final. FO: “boy, that runway looks really short” Captain: “Yeh, but I think we're good. Full flaps, gear down, arm spoilers, ready for full thrust reverse.“ FO: “Roger. Full flaps, three green, spoilers armed, ready for full thrust reverse. That runway is really really short”. Captain: “You're right, it's gonna be real tight, I don't like these unmarked runways, especially when they're that short. Prepare to land and both of us on the brakes as soon as the wheels touch”. As the aircraft touches down at the edge of the pavement, they apply full thrust reverse and slam on the brakes. The tires scream, the aircraft shakes violently, everyone is thrown forward restrained only by their seatbelts. But, believe it or not, as they screech to a stop, the nose wheel just touches the far edge of the asphalt. Captain: “Good grief, that was absolutely the shortest runway I've ever had the misfortune to land on”. FO: “No kidding, but look at how bloody wide it is”. 3 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted February 2 Author Posted February 2 5 hours ago, Alpo said: Obviously fake. Nobody hugged her, nobody gave her a shot of ouzo, and nobody pulled her into a dance. 4 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted February 3 Posted February 3 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUJ2KmZjvV2/?igsh=czlhemVuejl1NGU5 3 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted February 3 Posted February 3 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUEGytCEZdk/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ== 2 1 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted February 3 Posted February 3 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DNhtO3_xKMZ/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ== 1 Quote
Sedalia Dave Posted February 6 Posted February 6 1. The meaning of opaque is unclear. 2. I wasn’t going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind. 3. Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time consuming. 4. A man tried to assault me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy! 5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down. 6. If there was someone selling marijuana in our neighborhood, weed know about it. 7. It’s a lengthy article about ancient Japanese sword fighters but it's easy to Sumurais. 8. So what if I don’t know the meaning of the word ‘apocalypse’? It’s not the end of the world. 9. Police were called to the daycare center. Seems a 3-year old was resisting a rest. 10. The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester. 11. If you need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy. 12. Alternative facts are aversion of the truth. 13. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it. 14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 15. Did you know they won’t be making yardsticks any longer? 16. I used to be allergic to soap but I’m clean now. 17. The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless. 18. What did the man say when the bridge fell on him? The suspension is killing me. 19. Do you have weight loss mantras? Fat chants! 20. My tailor is happy to make a new pair of pants for me. Or sew it seams. 21. What is a thesaurus’s favorite dessert? Synonym buns. 22. A relief map shows where the restrooms are. 23. There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal. 7 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted February 6 Author Posted February 6 detective: you're a sick SOB, you know it? that bird was your friend of 10, 12 years and you drop a big freakin' boulder on him! wile e. coyote: i swear to god man i didn't think it was gonna work. it never works. oh god. detective: nevada's a death penalty state. 4 Quote
Calamity Kris Posted February 7 Posted February 7 (edited) 7 minutes ago, DeaconKC said: I can't imagine either one of them wearing those "evil" guns ......... Edited February 7 by Calamity Kris 3 1 Quote
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted February 7 Posted February 7 2 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: I hear you. 1 Quote
Alpo Posted February 7 Posted February 7 7 hours ago, DeaconKC said: Hopefully that would make more sense if I knew who that was in The Lone Ranger outfit. 2 Quote
Alpo Posted February 8 Posted February 8 Never mind. I just did a search. She's a singer that thinks, because she's a celebrity, her opinions about anything and everything are important in everyone in the world needs to pay attention. 3 Quote
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted February 8 Posted February 8 1 hour ago, Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L said: You know that you're in for a bad day when you wake up in the morning to find that your waterbed has sprung a leak; ..... then you remember that you don't sleep in a waterbed ......... 4 3 Quote
Alpo Posted February 8 Posted February 8 Every Sunday evening this man goes to the Chinese restaurant for supper. Gets the same waiter every time. No matter what he orders - beef chow mein, kung pao chicken, sweet and sour pork - he always adds, "and a side order of flied lice". One of those self-panicers. The waiter was not amused, and every week he got more and more annoyed. So he practiced and he practiced and he practiced. Then one Sunday he was ready. When the man ordered his chicken chow mein with a side order of flied lice, the waiter slowly and carefully replied, "That is FRIED RICE. You plick." 2 4 Quote
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