Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 Posted January 22 Posted January 22 and the first liar , AIN'T got a chance 🤣 3 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 23 Posted January 23 A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got one in my Yugo!" The driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, "Yes I have a phone." The driver of the Yugo says, "Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there too? I've got a fridge in the back seat of my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls, looking annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator." The driver of the Yugo says, "That's great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there, too? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls, looking very annoyed by now, says, "Of course I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!" The driver of the Yugo says, "Very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there, too? I got a bed in the back of my Yugo!" Upset that he did not have a bed, the driver of the Rolls-Royce sped away, and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered that a bed be installed in the back of the Rolls. The next morning, the driver of the Rolls picked up the car. The bed looked superb, complete with silk sheets and brass trim. It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls Royce. So the driver of the Rolls begins searching for the Yugo, and he drove all day. Finally, late at night, he finds the Yugo parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside. The driver of the Rolls got out and knocked on the Yugo. When there wasn't any answer, he knocked and knocked, and eventually the owner stuck his head out, soaking wet. "I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce," the driver of the Rolls stated arrogantly. The driver of the Yugo looked at him and said, "You got me out of the shower for that?!" 2 6 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 24 Posted January 24 A tourist hires a guide to show him around Madrid. He tells the guide, "If you don't mind, I'm trying to learn Spanish, so if I say something wrong, please correct me." The guide agrees, and they set off walking. A fly happens to buzz by, and the tourist says, "Look at the mosco!" The guide corrects him, "No, señor, the word you want is mosca, a feminine noun." The tourist watches the fly carefully for a few moments. Then he turns back to the guide and says, "You must have fantastic eyesight.” 1 3 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 25 Posted January 25 Asking for a price match… Customer: This saw is $100 - It’s only $80 at (big box store) - Manager: You should buy it there then - Customer: They don’t have any in stock there - Manager: Our saw is only $50 when we don’t have any in stock here - 4 3 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted January 26 Author Posted January 26 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSx6jqAjVOB/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== 1 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted January 27 Author Posted January 27 C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes in and heads for the bathroom, saying, "Excuse me; I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." E-flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "You're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural. Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. 1 4 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 27 Posted January 27 I was watching a video that might be NSFW so wouldn't post it heere, but one of the comments under it ... As someone who has done a lot of stupid stuff in my life, from a Doctor the last words you ever want to hear are "Whoa! ... Can I take a picture?" it is ******* terrifying! 4 Quote
Alpo Posted January 28 Posted January 28 Don't do that to me Joe. That meme - send bacon - is on the meme thread. Followed by that same picture of Kevin Bacon. Then I replied. So here I find this on the Friday humor thread, send bacon followed by Kevin Bacon and my post is not there. I'm sitting here trying to decide if my post was so offensive that the moderators deleted it. And you put it on another thread. Not nice to mess with people's minds this late at night. 2 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted January 28 Author Posted January 28 5 hours ago, Alpo said: Don't do that to me Joe. That meme - send bacon - is on the meme thread. Followed by that same picture of Kevin Bacon. Then I replied. So here I find this on the Friday humor thread, send bacon followed by Kevin Bacon and my post is not there. I'm sitting here trying to decide if my post was so offensive that the moderators deleted it. And you put it on another thread. Not nice to mess with people's minds this late at night. Sorry...sort of. I couldn't remember where I had seen that pair of images. Checked this thread for a few pages...nope. Scanned through the Memes thread and missed them. "AH! I must have seen them on FB!" I said to myself. So...here they are. About half an hour ago I was going through the Memes and saw them. Time stamp before I posted them here. I was going to ask the mods to remove them. But then I saw your post! Seems that they worked! Not the way I had intended, but they worked! Quote
Alpo Posted January 28 Posted January 28 The problem is, you have not had enough coffee. Ever tried Chinese coffee? 3 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted January 28 Author Posted January 28 High Power History! - US Army photographer examines impact from 6.5mm Creedmoor (cartridge seen at right in image) on turret armor of German King Tiger tank, 1945. (May or may not be totally historically accurate). High Power History brought to you by KelTec #keltec #highpowerhistory #worldwar2 #tanks One of the comments: "That’s where Abuela’s chankla hit the turret after the tank treads dumped mud where she just swept…" 2 1 Quote
El Sobrante Kid Posted January 28 Posted January 28 I have no idea about munitions of that time... but even if the 6.5 is correct, the mm is not. It should be 6.5cm 2 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted January 28 Author Posted January 28 OK then... https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUBnn8NiWkh/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== 1 Quote
SHOOTIN FOX Posted January 29 Posted January 29 Everyone knows that is the impact of a .45 acp 230 gr ball ammo? 2 1 2 Quote
John Kloehr Posted January 29 Posted January 29 37 minutes ago, SHOOTIN FOX said: Everyone knows that is the impact of a .45 acp 230 gr ball ammo? You sure that is not 9mm (9X19) out of a high-capacity magazine? 3 1 Quote
Sedalia Dave Posted January 29 Posted January 29 3 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: OK then... https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUBnn8NiWkh/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== Why Women live longer than men reason #7669 1 Quote
Irish Pat Posted January 29 Posted January 29 in the next scene you see the rear end of the Mustang that blew up the tank. I guess Hollywood could not locate a Thunderbolt 2 Quote
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted January 29 Posted January 29 5 hours ago, John Kloehr said: You sure that is not 9mm (9X19) out of a high-capacity magazine? ...... pretty sure, no mention of lungs ...... 1 Quote
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