Subdeacon Joe Posted January 16 Author Posted January 16 3 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: 21 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said: ^^^^^^^^ ..... be wanting her to spell it ... Husband: "Use it in a sentence." Wife: "Turkey is not from Turkey. " 1 3 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 16 Posted January 16 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTaSxufDEDm/?igsh=bzRkeXVkc29ncW52 2 1 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted January 16 Author Posted January 16 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTeIg4WgBFc/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== 1 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted January 17 Author Posted January 17 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTgAyqTE8D8/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== 2 Quote
DeaconKC Posted January 18 Posted January 18 On 1/15/2026 at 9:33 PM, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: Hey, I've owned that car! 2 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 18 Posted January 18 Two friends stumbled across Mozart’s mausoleum and decided to investigate. Inside they found his animated corpse angrily going through all of his symphonies and crossing bits out. ‘What’s he doing?’ one friend asked. The other replied… He's decomposing. 4 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 18 Posted January 18 A slick politician in a $5000 suit arrives in a dirt-poor with a feet of black SUVs. He waited for tv cameras to start recording… He gathered the locals and shouted, "My people! You have suffered long enough! I am here to grant you two wishes. Anything! Don't worry about the cost—I’m the one signing the checks!" The village elder stepped forward. "Well, sir, our first wish is for a world-class hospital. Our people are sick, and the nearest doctor is two days away." "Say no more!" the minister cried. He whipped out the latest iPhone, held it to his ear, and started pacing around aggressively. "Hello? Get me the Health Minister! Yes, I’m in the village. Listen, cancel the stadium project! I want a five-story hospital built here by Friday. Top-tier surgeons! Gold-plated stethoscopes! Get it done!" He slammed the phone shut, wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead, and looked at them heroically. "It’s handled. Now, what’s your second wish?" The villagers looked at each other, then back at him. "Actually, sir... our second wish is for a mobile network tower, because there hasn't been a signal in this village for twenty years. 4 2 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 19 Posted January 19 I haven’t spoken to my wife in four years. I thought it would be rude to interrupt her. 1 5 Quote
El Sobrante Kid Posted January 20 Posted January 20 2 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: Silencer? Nah! LOUDENER! Actually, that is a rare example of an early "directionator". It made the sound louder towards the enemy in front of you, while at the same time limiting the sound heard by your fellow troops. It was eventually scrapped by the military because too much leather was being used for the holsters. Totally true story! 3 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 20 Posted January 20 A man was telling a coworker that he was moving to Chicago but was worried about all the crime. He explained that he was going to quit before he had to move there. When asked why, he replied that he was just too afraid of all the crime even though he would be passing up a big salary increase and greater benefits. His co-worker said he should reconsider. Chicago is a magnificent city, with world class museums, loaded with a great history, sites, good public transportation, etc. Then he said: "Why I myself worked in Chicago for almost 10 years, and in all that time I never ever had a problem with crime while I was working." The first asked "What did you do there?" To which the other replied, "I was tail-gunner on a bread truck." 4 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 20 Posted January 20 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayQ5lejTNlY 3 Quote
Eyesa Horg Posted January 20 Posted January 20 19 minutes ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayQ5lejTNlY Not at all what I expected. That dang funny. We're still chuckling. 😂 2 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 22 Posted January 22 A Polish man married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so, and although his English was far from perfect, the couple got on very well. One day, though, he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked if he could arrange a divorce for him, "Very quick!" The lawyer explained that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked these questions: LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?" POLE: "An acre and half, and a nice 3 bedroom house." LAWYER: "No, I mean what is the foundation of the case?" POLE: "It is made of concrete, bricks & mortar." LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?" POLE: "No, we have a carport and don’t need a grudge." LAWYER: "I mean, what are your relations like?" POLE: "All my relations live in Poland." LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?" POLE: "Yes, we have hi-fidelity stereo set & DVD player with 6.1 sound." LAWYER: "No, I mean does your wife beat you up?" POLE: "No, I’m always up before her." LAWYER: "Why do you want this divorce?" POLE: "She going to kill me!" LAWYER: "What makes you think that?" POLE: "I got proof." LAWYER: "What kind of proof?" POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy bottle at drug store. It say Polish Remover." 2 4 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 22 Posted January 22 A little old lady went to buy cat food. She picked up three cans but was told by the clerk, "I'm sorry, but we can't sell this to you without proof you have a cat. Too many seniors are buying cat food to eat. Management wants proof that you are buying this for your cat." So the lady went home, brought in her cat, and was sold the cat food. . . The next day, she tried to buy two cans of dog food and was again told she couldn't buy them without proof. So the lady went home, brought in her dog, and was sold the dog food. . . One day later, she brought in a box with a hole in the lid and asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there." The lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box, quickly pulled it out, and exclaimed, "That smells like crap." The lady replied, "It is. I want to buy eight rolls of toilet paper." 😂 1 4 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 22 Posted January 22 Four Catholic Men and a Catholic Woman Were Having Coffee in St. Peter's Square. The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'". The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'". The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'". The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'". Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well...."? She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D - 24 - 36 When she walks into a room people say, "Jeeeeeeeeeesssssssuuussss!" 2 7 Quote
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