Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 8 Posted January 8 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQsiSJrDdDu/?igsh=MWJ6cGtwMWt0Nmd1OA== 1 2 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 8 Posted January 8 https://www.instagram.com/p/DTBr8tkj2C-/?igsh=c3Y2ZGg4emtkbGt2 2 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 8 Posted January 8 A Christian, a Muslim and a Jew die at the same time and are all dismayed to see the devil, who welcomes them to hell. The Christian inconsolably sobs, "What?! But I faithfully prayed to our lord and saviour Jesus Christ for absolution of my sin, I shouldn't be here!". The Muslim frustratedly exclaims, "Ya Allah! I prayed Salah religiously five times every single day like prophet Muhammed, I shouldn't be here either!" The Jew turns to eye up the devil, sighs, and then asks "How do I get air conditioning arranged in here?" 3 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 8 Posted January 8 Two men are walking their dogs when one says he’d like to stop for a beer. His friend says, “There’s a pub down the street, but they won’t let us in with the dogs, right?” “Just follow my lead” the man says as he heads to the entrance. He is immediately stopped by the hostess, who tells him that no dogs are allowed in the bar. The man, with eyes closed, smoothly says “But ma’am, this is my seeing eye dog!” He is let in and he goes up to the bar. His friend is amazed at the quick thinking and follows suit. As he is stopped, he also claims that his pet is a seeing eye dog. The hostess exclaimed, “A chihuahua?!” Without missing a beat, he said, “They gave me a bloody chihuahua?” 1 3 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 9 Posted January 9 A man was very much in love with a woman. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life. That evening he ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet. The fellow never found out what made his girlfriend so angry with him. 2 2 Quote
Eyesa Horg Posted January 9 Posted January 9 13 hours ago, Chantry said: That was beautiful 🤣 I love it! 1 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted January 11 Author Posted January 11 5 hours ago, Alpo said: 3 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said: ? A visual play on the misstatemnt of the saying "The proof of the pudding is in the tasting." 2 Quote
John Kloehr Posted January 11 Posted January 11 3 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said: ? As Yoda might say, "pudding the proof in is." Quote
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted January 11 Posted January 11 6 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said: A visual play on the misstatemnt of the saying "The proof of the pudding is in the tasting." 5 minutes ago, John Kloehr said: As Yoda might say, "pudding the proof in is." thanks fellars, ..... 'proof is in the chocolate yoghurt' doesn't sound quite right. 3 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 11 Posted January 11 A man was wandering around in his back yard when he came across a patch of big mushrooms, they looked nice, so he picked them. He was expecting a number of friends around that evening for a slap up meal and figured the mushrooms would be nice to go with the steaks. But being wary that some mushrooms can be poisonous, he cooked one up and gave it to his dog Spot, figuring that if it didn’t make Spot sick then the rest would be okay for the guests. Well Spot scoffed it down and wagged his tail, he wanted more, no sign of him getting sick. Alrighty then, let’s do it. So the friends duly arrived, the steak and mushrooms served and soon devoured and everyone was most impressed. But wait……the man’s son comes running inside, “Dad, dad, Spot is dead!” Oh hell, what to do now, what will happen to the guests. The man panicked and rang the hospital and they told him to race to the pharmacy and get a special solution to give to his guests and they may well be saved. It causes immediate vomiting and also cleans out the bowels in a flash. So he did that, gave all the guests a good dosing of drench and had some himself. Oh dear, there was much chundering and pooing and moaning and writhing as the guest lay all over the floor filling their pants and covering the furniture with puke and poo. Tsk, tsk. Suddenly the man’s son came back in the room and said, “You know what dad, that truck that ran over Spot didn’t even stop!” 7 1 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 12 Posted January 12 There was this guy who had just gotten a new job as a school bus driver for elementary school children. He thought it would be nice to paint the school bus with characters from Sesame Street. So, he painted Bert and Ernie, Big Bird, The Count, Cookie Monster, Oscar, Grover, Elmo., and a couple other characters. When finished, he stepped back and admired his work. It was his first day on the job and he was looking forward to getting started and meeting the kids. At his first stop, there was this very over-weight little girl. He opened the door and said, " Hi, I'm the new bus driver. What is your name?" The girl said that her name was Pattie. Waiting at the next stop was another over-weight little girl. He said, "Hi, I'm the new bus driver. What is your name?" She said that her name was Pattie also. At the next stop, there was a grown woman and a little boy. The bus driver said, "Hi, I'm the new bus driver. What is your name?" The woman piped up and said, "His name is Ross and he is my son." She continued, "He is very, very special, so I want you to take extra good care of him." The bus driver replied, "No problem." "He can have this seat right behind me and I can keep an eye on him in the mirror." At the next stop, there was this little country boy standing there. The little boy was wearing tattered overalls and had no shoes or socks on his feet. The poor little boy had problems walking because of bunions all over his feet. The bus driver said, "Hi, I'm the new bus driver. What is your name?" The little boy replied, "My name is Lester Cleese." Well, little Lester picked at his bunions all the way to the school house, nearly driving the driver crazy. Later that night, at home, his wife asked him how his first day on the new job was. The man replied, “Well, I had two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Cleese picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus." 3 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 14 Posted January 14 I'll never forget my grandfather's last words. "Hey, are you holding the ladder?" 1 1 1 2 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 16 Posted January 16 My new gf loves me so much she screams in excitement whenever she sees me! I think it's excitement - when I peer through her windows. Maybe one day I will get the courage to say hello to her. 1 1 Quote
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted January 16 Posted January 16 https://www.bing.com/ck/a?!&&p=6374da190eeb46dcb5edbe4724b9661cd3005cd3994f3e4b8e8b7506b347b276JmltdHM9MTc2ODQzNTIwMA&ptn=3&ver=2&hsh=4&fclid=204954a0-64f8-65a3-2173-424365ab64e9&u=a1L3ZpZGVvcy9yaXZlcnZpZXcvcmVsYXRlZHZpZGVvP3E9cnVzdHkraG9sZGVuK3V0ZSYmbWlkPTk1MTk1RDkzQTEyNzg0MEJDRTY2OTUxOTVEOTNBMTI3ODQwQkNFNjYmY2h1cmw9aHR0cHMlM2ElMmYlMmZ3d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20lMmZjaGFubmVsJTJmVUN6amZVSzNDWU1wajVMdlVnMEcybElnJkZPUk09VkFNR1pD 1 2 Quote
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted January 16 Posted January 16 ^^^^^^^^ ..... be wanting her to spell it ... Quote
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