It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Alpo]

[Alpo]

U-dunn, u-dunn

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Sedalia Dave]

[Alpo]

Looks like he's got the same problem he had in the Falcon.

 

Saw video short with Harrison Ford month or so back. He's talking about the guy that played Chewy. Said he was so big that he had to fight to get into the co-pilot seat of the Falcon set. And there's no way he could jump up out of it and go do something. Had to be helped out. Had to be helped in. And that's why he never gets out of the seat in all of the scenes. Solo get up and go to the back of the ship but Chewy never does.

 

Looks like he's got to sit in the doorway because he would not fit inside that bird.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSSvRrbCMuI/?igsh=MTg5MmVzd3FnY3d3cw==

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSSrK4rjL6K/?igsh=MXNpOGRhd3V4Z3lhag==

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

What’s wrong with this picture?  Many like this on Amazon.

Those buttons should be button holes.

[Equanimous Phil]

1 hour ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Those buttons should be button holes.

 

Look like push buttons to me, just with a "normal" button design on top to look traditional?

[Alpo]

54 minutes ago, Equanimous Phil said:

 

Look like push buttons to me, just with a "normal" button design on top to look traditional?

Yeah those "buttons" on the left placket appear to be the backside of the female half of a snap. Over there on the right placket you see the backside of the male half of a snap.

[Subdeacon Joe]

On a lighter note for my Jewish friends:

T'was the night before Chanukah, boychicks and maidels
Not a sound could be heard, not even the draidels.
The Menorah was set on the chimney, alight
In the kitchen the Bubba hut gechapt a bite.
Salami, pastrami, a glassala tay
And zayerah pickles with bagels, oh vay!
Gezunt and geschmack, the kinderlach felt
While dreaming of tagelach and Chanukah gelt.

The clock on the mantelpiece away was tickin'
And Bubba was serving a schtikala chicken.
A tumult arose like a thousand brauches,
Santa had fallen and broken his tuches.
I put on my slippers, eins, tsvay, drei,
While Bubba was now on the herring and rye.
I grabbed for my bathrobe and buttoned my gotkes
While Bubba was busy devouring the latkes.

To the window I ran and to my surprise
A little red yarmulke greeted my eyes.
Then he got to the door and saw the Menorah,
"Yiddishe kinder," he said, "Kenahora.
I thought I was in a goyisha hoise,
But as long as I'm here, I'll leave a few toys."

With much geshray, I asked, "Du bist a Yid?"
"Avada, mien numen is Schloimay Claus, kid."
"Come into the kitchen, I'll get you a dish,
A guppell, a schtickala fish."
With smacks of delight, he started his fressen,
Chopped liver, knaidlach and kreplah gagessen.
Along with his meal, he had a few schnapps,
When it came to eating, this boy was the tops.

He asked for some knishes with pepper and salt,
But they were so hot, he yelled "Oy Gevalt."
Unbuttoning his haizen, he rose from the tish,
And said, "Your Kosher essen is simply delish."
As he went to the door, he said "I'll see you later,
I'll be back next Pesach, in time for the Sedar."

More rapid than eagles his prancers they came,
As he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
Now Izzy, now Morris, now Yitzak, now Sammy,
Now Irving and Maxie, and Moishe and Mannie."
He gave a geshray as he drove out of sight:
"Gooten Yomtov to all, and to all a good night."

[Alpo]

3 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

While dreaming of tagelach and Chanukah gelt.

 

Did you know there used to be a saloonatic named Hannah Kagelt?

[Subdeacon Joe]

20 minutes ago, Alpo said:

 

Did you know there used to be a saloonatic named Hannah Kagelt?

 

Did you know there used to be a saloonatic named Hannah Kagelt?

 

No, I did not. 

 

No, I did not. 

 

 

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

58 minutes ago, Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L said:

No. It's more interesting to walk around with your keys in hand, finally getting to your car, open up the trunk, pretend to put something in, close it and walk away.

Edited December 19, 2025 by Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770

[Alpo]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Stolen from the web …

 

The other night I was invited out for a night with the “girls". I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” As time went by, the hours flew and the margaritas disappeared far too quickly. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realising my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos= MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him “MIDNIGHT”…. he didn’t seem pi***d off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said “We need a new cuckoo clock.” When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said “oh sh**” Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted

[Eyesa Horg]

That's excellent 🤣, glad I hadn't taken a sip of coffee!

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

3 hours ago, Eyesa Horg said:

That's excellent 🤣, glad I hadn't taken a sip of coffee!

 

[Chantry]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

Checking his list. 

[Alpo]

[DeaconKC]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

[Subdeacon Joe]

Wrong Indian 

 

 

 

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSTxh2zgJJI/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

 

 

[Alpo]

2 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Authentic Eskimo polar bear trap.

 

First you go out on the ice flow FLOE, otto you idiot, and dig a hole. Then you open a can of English peas and sprinkle them around the hole. Then hide.

 

English peas, as you may not be aware, are actually the favorite food of polar bears. This is true! They prefer English peas to baby seals.

 

Soon a polar bear will come by and see the peas, so when the bear stops to take a pea, you sneak up and kick him in the icehole.

Edited December 20, 2025 by Alpo

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

 

 

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

[Gateway Kid SASS# 70038 Life]

21 hours ago, Alpo said:

Hey!, I think I used to work there!

Regards

    

Gateway Kid

[DeaconKC]

[Sedalia Dave]

23 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

Checking his list. 

 

Cleaning up the Naughty list.

[Subdeacon Joe]