It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Subdeacon Joe]

1 hour ago, Alpo said:

 

Doc....I just don't get it...

[PaleWolf Brunelle, #2495L]

7 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

Doc....I just don't get it...

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

And here I thought that "Doc" was a dead giveaway!

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

[Alpo]

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

[Alpo]

[Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485]

On 11/14/2025 at 5:54 PM, Rye Miles #13621 said:

Could be a 10/22 dress up kit.

 

[DeaconKC]

[Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485]

55 minutes ago, DeaconKC said:

How can you call Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois , Indiana , Ohio and Pennsylvanian Land locked when they are on the Great lakes ? Michigan has more coast line than any state in the lower 48 except maybe Florida.

[Alpo]

That guy with the MG42 10/22 - I don't know who he is. But I was not impressed with his video.

 

Do you normally turn on a video to watch somebody load a magazine? It just seems to me that if you were going to show a video firing a gun that requires a detachable magazine, and you are going to shoot it more times than one magazine full - you need to have several loaded magazines there. Shoot the 10 rounds, replace the magazine and shoot 10 more. Not shoot and then spend 30 seconds loading the magazine and 10 seconds shooting and another 30 reloading.

 

That's why I quit watching about halfway through. I know how to load a magazine. I don't need to watch somebody do it again and again and again and again.

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Seen on the web…

 

    Expert wife tip….

Quote

If your husband gets mad or gets on your nerves, pour a little motor oil where he parks, he’ll spend hours looking for the source of the leak.

 

[Alpo]

[Alpo]

Jewish lawyer met a Chinese doctor. Said he was surprised they got along so well. The doctor asked why.

 

"Well, you know, Pearl Harbor."

 

The doctor said, "That was Japanese, I'm Chinese".

 

The lawyer said, "Japanese, Chinese - I can't tell you apart".

 

The doctor says, "Well, you sank the Titanic!"

 

"What!?!?"

 

"Greenberg, Goldberg, iceberg - all the same to me."

[John Kloehr]

Three women leaving church services are involved in a horrible fatal car accident, they end up at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter welcomes them, just letting them know about one primary rule. Do. Not. Step On. A, Duck! And there were ducks everywhere!

 

Well, it only took a few days, and one of the ladies stepped on a duck. Saint Peter brought the ugliest man any of them had ever seen, tied them together with chains, and told them they would be together forever.

 

The remaining two ladies were more vigilant, yet a few weeks later another of the remaining pair stepped on a duck. Again, Saint Peter brought an incredibly ugly man, chained them together, and informed them they would be together for eternity.

 

The remaining lady became so careful and so vigilant, months went by and she avoided stepping on a duck, One day, Saint Peter approached with an Adonis following behind, an absolutely gorgeous hunk of a man with rippling muscles, tan, and even polite and respectful, and chained him to the remaining lady. They would be together for eternity!

 

The lady could not believe her fortune, she commented how she had no idea what special thing she had done to deserve this, she had just done her best to follow the rule. The guy replied back he had no idea what she had done either, but a few minutes ago he had stepped on a duck.

[Rip Snorter]

10 minutes ago, John Kloehr said:

Three women leaving church services are involved in a horrible fatal car accident, they end up at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter welcomes them, just letting them know about one primary rule. Do. Not. Step On. A, Duck! And there were ducks everywhere!

 

Well, it only took a few days, and one of the ladies stepped on a duck. Saint Peter brought the ugliest man any of them had ever seen, tied them together with chains, and told them they would be together forever.

 

The remaining two ladies were more vigilant, yet a few weeks later another of the remaining pair stepped on a duck. Again, Saint Peter brought an incredibly ugly man, chained them together, and informed them they would be together for eternity.

 

The remaining lady became so careful and so vigilant, months went by and she avoided stepping on a duck, One day, Saint Peter approached with an Adonis following behind, an absolutely gorgeous hunk of a man with rippling muscles, tan, and even polite and respectful, and chained him to the remaining lady. They would be together for eternity!

 

The lady could not believe her fortune, she commented how she had no idea what special thing she had done to deserve this, she had just done her best to follow the rule. The guy replied back he had no idea what she had done either, but a few minutes ago he had stepped on a duck.

A quack shot for sure!

[Alpo]

Three couples die. They are waiting at the pearly Gates. St Peter says to the first man, "All you care about is alcohol. You spent your entire life trying to get more and more alcohol. You even married a woman named Brandy. You can't come in."

 

Then he turns to the second man. "All you care about is money. You spent your entire life trying to get more and more money. You even married a woman named Penny. You can't come in."

 

Hearing this, the third man turned to his wife and said, "Let's go Fanny. He's not going to let us in either."

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

It’s a tattoo!

 

[DeaconKC]

[Alpo]

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

^^^^^^^^^^^

  ...... oops ..

[Subdeacon Joe]

1 hour ago, DeaconKC said:

 

The real thing also was somewhat useful against ground troops. 

[John Kloehr]

Living in the country, lots of folks keep various animals. Got a neighbor who raises turkeys. One of the turkeys got weird a few days ago, yesterday two did, and now four of them this morning...

 

They seem to think they are roosters. Every morning now as the sun comes up, I am hearing "gobble gobble doo... gobble gobble doo..."

[Chantry]

2 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

The real thing also was somewhat useful against ground troops. 

 

Somewhat?  It's nickname was the "meat chopper?

[Subdeacon Joe]

1 hour ago, Chantry said:

 

Somewhat?  It's nickname was the "meat chopper?

 

Droll understatement. 

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

The New Yorker walks into the hotel bar and asks the bartender "is everything actually bigger in Texas?"

The bartender chuckles "Partner, everything is bigger here. Order a Texas sized beer and a Texas sized steak and you can see for yerself."

Being adventurous, the man agrees. The steak and the beer come and they're enormous. The Texas sized steak was the biggest steak he'd ever laid eyes on, he couldn't even finish half of it. The Texas sized beer had him completely plastered. He was so drunk he could barely sit on the barstool.

Eventually after all that liquid from the Texas sized beer he asks the bartender where the bathroom is.

"Sure thing city slicker, go down that hall and make your first left." The bartender instructs him. But being completely hammered the New Yorker takes his second left and falls into the hotel swimming pool.

The drunken New Yorker thrashes around in the water and comes up to the surface and screams at the top of his lungs "OH GOD DON'T FLUSH!"

[Sedalia Dave]

[Alpo]

Doctor Johansson, the biologist, mixed DNA from a cheetah with DNA from a blue crab.

 

Things went sideways real fast.

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]