Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 3 Posted November 3 On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee whereupon the parrot squawks, 'And get me a coke, you cow!' The stewardess, flustered, brings back a coke for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her, the parrot drains its glass and bawls 'And get me another coke dogface!' Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another coke but still no coffee. Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach. 'I've asked you twice for a coffee! Go and get it now you old goat!' The next moment both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says, 'For someone who can't fly, you've got guts 5 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 3 Posted November 3 Putin is immune to Sudden Russian Death Syndrome…. his many offices have no windows. 2 2 Quote
Crazy Gun Barney, SASS #2428 Posted November 3 Posted November 3 On 10/31/2025 at 12:26 PM, Subdeacon Joe said: One of the LGS that was around when I was a kid had a clock that had a hole in it and didn't work still mounted to the wall. Whenever anybody would ask about it, the story was about an unloaded gun that a customer had brought in... 4 Quote
Alpo Posted November 4 Posted November 4 You suppose if you got in between him and them, he would tear your head off? 1 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 6 Posted November 6 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQeeLjQEbVa/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link 1 Quote
Alpo Posted November 7 Posted November 7 1 hour ago, Sedalia Dave said: If Mr Pickles met up with "that bloodthirsty violent garter snake that is roaming our streets", he would kill it. 2 Quote
Alpo Posted November 7 Posted November 7 That ain't Gus. THIS is Gus. "Angelo's Steak Pit. The home of Gus, the 2000 pound steer. And that ain't no bull!" Seems like just about every year during spring break somebody spray paints his pizzle bright red. Couple of times they've cut his horns off, so he had to be replaced. Teenagers/college kids/Tourists. Sometimes I hate living in a tourist trap. 2 Quote
T.K. Posted November 8 Posted November 8 My Dog ate a whole bag of Scrabble game tiles, I took him to the Vet........ No word yet...... 4 Quote
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted November 8 Posted November 8 16 hours ago, Alpo said: ...... can't be having an unsecured load now, can we ? Quote
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted November 8 Posted November 8 19 hours ago, Alpo said: 2 hours ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said: ...... can't be having an unsecured load now, can we ? I don't know, we didn't see him slap it and say "THAT'S not going anywhere!" 1 3 Quote
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted November 9 Posted November 9 32 minutes ago, Alpo said: Can you say "oops"? ...... not "oops", ...... but urrrrrngh!!! he was either very trusting or verrrrrry gullible ....... 2 Quote
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted November 9 Posted November 9 I'm betting he won't fall for that'un again 2 Quote
Subdeacon Joe Posted November 9 Author Posted November 9 "Move his love handles out of the way" https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQwz7LBEf1A/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 11 Posted November 11 Wilson the Volleyball, Tom Hanks' inanimate companion in the movie Cast Away, actually had scripted lines. They were unspoken in the movie and existed only to help Hanks get in character while talking to the ball. 1 Quote
Sedalia Dave Posted November 12 Posted November 12 I phoned my local radio station today. The guy said, “Congratulations! You’re our first caller! Answer one question correctly and you win the grand prize!” “Woohoo!” I said. “It’s a math question. Feeling confident?” “Yes! I have a degree in math and I teach at our local school,” I replied proudly. “Okay then… for 2 VIP tickets to meet Taylor Swift, What is 2 + 2?” “7,” I replied. 1 4 Quote
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