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Posted

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring.

The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach." The older doctor looked at her and said "To be honest, you've probably been overeating on the fresh fruit. Cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick.”

As they left, the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman? How did you come to the diagnosis so quickly?"

"I didn't have to. Did you notice that I accidentally dropped my stethoscope on the floor? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in under her bed. That was what probably was making her sick."

The younger doctor said "wow that’s clever. Can I try that at the next house."

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She said that she just didn't have the energy she once did and said, "I'm feeling terribly run down lately."

"You've probably been doing too much for the Synagogue," the younger doctor told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps."

As they left, the elder doctor said, "I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, she's very active in the synagogue but how did you arrive at that diagnosis so quickly?"

“Did you notice that I accidentally dropped my stethoscope on the floor? When I bent down to pick it up, I noticed the Rabbi under the bed

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Posted

image.thumb.jpeg.ee66bb48c248c02d77b08003402479c5.jpeg

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Posted
15 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

FB_IMG_1760923917624.jpg.05a47998e161b14008d9d39dd8034c51.jpg

 

That was so bad I had to "liberate" it for my own use.

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Posted

The aging Pope is suffering from a mysterious illness. After an astounding number of medical tests, the cause is finally discovered.

The doctor, a little awkwardly, explains: “Your holiness; your life of celibacy has resulted in a rare syndrome. Unfortunately, your condition will worsen until you have sex with a woman. If you do not, it may prove fatal.”

“But I made a vow before God to forego all desires of the flesh and serve only the Church. I am afraid I must honor that vow, even to my death.”

The Pope’s assistant interjects: “Your holiness, consider that the body is the temple of the soul, and you are commanded by God to preserve it. Perhaps God will be merciful if you were to consider the treatment your doctors propose.”

“Very well; I will pray for divine guidance. May God give me wisdom.”

After three days of prayer and meditation, the Pope has come to a decision.

“The science of medicine is given by God for the betterment of man. I will do as these learned doctors suggest. God has shown me three conditions that just be met. 1) The woman I am to have intercourse with must be a good and practicing Catholic, who has recently confessed and taken communion; 2) to protect the dignity of the chair of St. Peter, she must be sworn to secrecy under penalty of excommunication; and 3) she must have big 6006s.

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Posted
6 minutes ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

 

The aging Pope is suffering from a mysterious illness. After an astounding number of medical tests, the cause is finally discovered.

The doctor, a little awkwardly, explains: “Your holiness; your life of celibacy has resulted in a rare syndrome. Unfortunately, your condition will worsen until you have sex with a woman. If you do not, it may prove fatal.”

“But I made a vow before God to forego all desires of the flesh and serve only the Church. I am afraid I must honor that vow, even to my death.”

The Pope’s assistant interjects: “Your holiness, consider that the body is the temple of the soul, and you are commanded by God to preserve it. Perhaps God will be merciful if you were to consider the treatment your doctors propose.”

“Very well; I will pray for divine guidance. May God give me wisdom.”

After three days of prayer and meditation, the Pope has come to a decision.

“The science of medicine is given by God for the betterment of man. I will do as these learned doctors suggest. God has shown me three conditions that just be met. 1) The woman I am to have intercourse with must be a good and practicing Catholic, who has recently confessed and taken communion; 2) to protect the dignity of the chair of St. Peter, she must be sworn to secrecy under penalty of excommunication; and 3) she must have big 6006s.

Cheech and Chong had this one on their first album in the early '70s.

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Posted
13 hours ago, Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 said:

Cheech and Chong had this one on their first album in the early '70s.

 

I was playing that album in my basement bedroom when my Dad (in the next room) heard that skit...almost got evicted on the spot! 
He was VP, Dean of Students, Athletic Director, Varsity Coach, and a teacher at the local Catholic high school at the time. 😎

 

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