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Posted
2 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Just for you …

 

Laughingdog.gif.a5a18bc8b97e6ee61d6918fa76ae18f9.gifPound(big)onthefloorlaughing.gif.c1546d31fa922d504941d4e1f31a8e70.gif

  • Haha 2
Posted

I saw a cartoon. I'm not going to post it here because --- COPYRIGHT ISSUES. Instead I will describe it.

 

They are playing Family Feud. The question is

 

Name things that every parent is afraid their child will become.

 

The answers already on the board are

 

Pregnant

Dropout

Stripper ---  and

CARTOONIST

  • Haha 2
Posted

Jerry Clower, the Mouth of the Mississippi!

He had one about Coon Huntin', where Marcel Ledbetter clumb up attair tree to shake out a Coon.

'Twarn't no Coon.

'Twas a Wild Cat and him and attair cat got into it and he's squallin' "Shoot! Shoot!" and his huntin' partner hollers up "I cain't shoot, I maht hit yew!"

Marcel hollers back, "Then shoot up here amongst us, one of us gots to have some relief!"

When I had a fine pair of kidney stones -- the one stuck in the left renal calyx was 9mm diameter, the other was a 7mm -- daggone that hurt -- I'm a-layin' in ER and that Physician's Assistant asked if I wanted anything.

I looked at her and said "Yes ma'am there is," and I could see that little thought balloon float up above her head, and it was shaped like a needle full of Old Knockemstiff.

I r'ared up on my Elbows and declared loudly, "I WANT YOU TO SEND DOWN TO CENTRAL SUPPLY AND ORDER UP A BIG RUBBER MALLET, I WANT YOU TO TAKE IT IN BOTH HANDS AND BELT ME HERE RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES JUST AS HARD AS YOU CAN SWING THAT THANG!"

The nurse behind her starts to snort, she turns an incredible shade of dark scarlet, she's stuffing her fist in her mouth to keep from laughing as the PA gets a real funny look on her face and said in a tiny little voice, "I can't do that."

"IT'S LIKE RASSLIN' A WILDCAT UP IN A TREE!" I declared. "SHOOT UP HERE AMONGST US, ONE OF US GOTS TO HAVE SOME RELIEF!"

God bless Jerry Clower, sometimes a bit of Suth'n fried humor helps when an insane dwarf is trying to cut his way out of my tenderloins with a hand forged Zulu war spear!

  • Like 3
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, Linn Keller, SASS 27332, BOLD 103 said:

Jerry Clower, the Mouth of the Mississippi!

He had one about Coon Huntin', where Marcel Ledbetter clumb up attair tree to shake out a Coon.

'Twarn't no Coon.

'Twas a Wild Cat and him and attair cat got into it and he's squallin' "Shoot! Shoot!" and his huntin' partner hollers up "I cain't shoot, I maht hit yew!"

Marcel hollers back, "Then shoot up here amongst us, one of us gots to have some relief!"


‘Tweren’t Marcel, it was John Eubanks, professional tree climber and great American. When he poked the coon he found out it was a lynx. Or as they called ‘em, “a souped up wildcat!”

 


It has brought tears to my eyes and pain to my ribs laughing many times since I was a kid!

 

Marcel went at the beer joint with his talking chainsaw!

Edited by DocWard
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Posted
2 hours ago, DocWard said:

Tweren’t Marcel, it was John Eubanks,

I haven't looked at the video you posted, but I can definitely remember hearing on the stereo - KNOCK HIM OUT, JOHN!

  • Like 2
Posted

I thought this was worth a chuckle.

 

King Charles lives in Highgrove House which he bought years ago. He loves it. It belongs to the Duchy of Cornwall. Thus, Charles is paying rent to Prince William who is now Duke of Cornwall.  😀 

 

family matters!

  • Like 1
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Posted

I'm a bit puzzled by that one.

 

King Charles lives in Highgrove House which he bought years ago.

 

It belongs to the Duchy of Cornwall.

 

Charles is paying rent

 

Now, if Charles bought the house, how can it belong to the Duchy? Seems like it should belong to Charles. And if it belongs to Charles, why would he be paying rent?

 

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Alpo said:

I'm a bit puzzled by that one.

 

King Charles lives in Highgrove House which he bought years ago.

 

It belongs to the Duchy of Cornwall.

 

Charles is paying rent

 

Now, if Charles bought the house, how can it belong to the Duchy? Seems like it should belong to Charles. And if it belongs to Charles, why would he be paying rent?

 

He bought on behalf of the Duchy, He was Duke of Cornwall at the time. Now William is Duke. It’s a tax dodge.

Edited by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984
  • Like 1
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Posted

674-3petals.webp.075cf791b39f049faadbcbdd4d1a7d3b.webp

 

I think this would be funnier if the idiot that made it had known how to spell pedal. But it's still pretty funny.

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Posted
Quote

What would happen if a new 2nd lieutenant trys to size up to a CWO5 and demands salutes since a 2nd lieutenant outranks a CWO5?

 

Quote

In the highly unlikely event that a 2ndLt were to meet a cwo5 (many still consider the CWO5 to be a myth, who drinks beer and smokes cigars with Sasquatch, Bigfoot, and swims with the lochness monster, while his wife admits she’s wrong) the LT wouldn’t have to demand anything, on most likely wouldn’t be stupid enough to try.

Heh!

 

 

  • Like 2
Posted

Of all the Chief Warrants I met in my limited time, not one Ensign I ever met would DREAM of demanding anything!

  • Like 3
Posted
20 hours ago, Alpo said:

674-3petals.webp.075cf791b39f049faadbcbdd4d1a7d3b.webp

 

I think this would be funnier if the idiot that made it had known how to spell pedal. But it's still pretty funny.

 

It would be funnier still if the picture was of a guy...............

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Posted
4 hours ago, Dapper Dave said:

Of all the Chief Warrants I met in my limited time, not one Ensign I ever met would DREAM of demanding anything!

Of all the Chief Warrants I met in my career, all were professional enough that I didn't have to demand anything, especially a salute.

  • Like 3
Posted

 

8 hours ago, Calamity Kris said:

 

It would be funnier still if the picture was of a guy...............

674threewishes.thumb.webp.dbd3448405cd255b27588d3aa79f2001.webp

  • Haha 3
Posted (edited)

I remember an old Disney movie. Snow Dogs (?) I think it was called. This guy is in Alaska practicing for the Iditarod. He has his dog team pulling him through town in his Volkswagen beetle. Because there's no snow yet. So that's how he trained his dogs.

 

 

Added: I was right. Snow Dogs.

 

image.jpeg.43ded2c4c3638fc6e360a4c4925e24ba.jpeg

Edited by Alpo
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Posted

image.thumb.png.2972104d282d130fa659b80a5957e789.png

  • Haha 5
Posted

image.thumb.jpeg.45e9921fa6f656c99a78928633e8fd3b.jpeg

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