It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Alpo]

16 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

I read that as Romulans.

 

Took me a little bit to make sense out of it. Klingons doing desserts at a funeral - that made sense. But Romulans?

[Dapper Dave]

It is a GLORIOUS day for a Bundt cake!

[Alpo]

[Alpo]

[Sedalia Dave]

[John Kloehr]

[John Kloehr]

Secret service in awe as trump walks on moderately sloped roof.

 

Edited August 5, 2025 by John Kloehr
Clean up link

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

[Alpo]

[DeaconKC]

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

On 8/5/2025 at 1:38 PM, Sedalia Dave said:

 

There is an editorial comment in the March 15, 1860 Southern Watchman, "Girls, don't do it." Warning young ladies about how undesirable the "practice which is quite prevalent" of casually sharing daguerrotypes of themselves with casual male acquaintances. 

 

You can find it here .  On my phone I'm unable to get a copy of the text. 

[Sedalia Dave]

One dark night in Dublin, a fire started inside the local chemical plant. In the blink of an eye, it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.

 

When the firefighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fireman in charge and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant.

 

They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire station who could bring out the company's secret files. But still, the firefighters could not get through.

 

From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby rural township volunteer fire brigade, composed mainly of old men over 65. To everyone's amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant. Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno.

 

Outside, the other firemen watched as the old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire and fought it back on all sides. It was a performance and effort never seen before. Within a short time, the old timers had extinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas. The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000  and walked over to personally thank each of the brave firefighters.

 

The local TV station caught the thank you on film and asked the chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"

 

"Well," said Paddy, the 70-year-old fire chief, "the first thing we're gonna do is
fix the brakes on that bloody fire truck."

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Alpo]

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

 

 

[Eyesa Horg]

It's all fun and games until a truck blocks him from crossing the road! 

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

A Scottish Golf Story
 
 John, who lived in the north of England, decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy, Shawn. They loaded up John's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. 
‘I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained, 'and I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.' 
Don't worry,' John said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.' 
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. 
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of golf.  But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the golf weekend. 
He dropped in on his friend Shawn and asked, "Shawn, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our golf holiday in Scotland about 9 months ago?” 
‘Yes, I do,' said Shawn.  'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?' 
'Well, um, yes!' Shawn said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.' 
'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?' 
Shawn's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy I'm afraid I  did.  Why do you ask?' 

‘She just died and left me everything.'

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Alpo]

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

3 hours ago, Alpo said:

[DocWard]

6 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

To Heck with you and your grid square!
-Field Artillery

(I did not originally see it as "To heck with")

Edited August 10, 2025 by DocWard

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

[DeaconKC]

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

 

 

 

Edited August 10, 2025 by Subdeacon Joe

[Alpo]

I had knee surgery back in 92. I had my wife bring me a sharpie and wrote WRONG LEG on my right leg just above the knee.

 

Did not get any comments from the staff at the hospital, so I assume that's a fairly common thing. But I remember reading about a guy that had his leg amputated because he had diabetes, and they cut the wrong one off.

[Sedalia Dave]

[Sedalia Dave]

While shopping in the grocery store, two nuns happened to walk past the beer cooler 🍺 One said to the other, “Wouldn’t a nice cold beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?”
The second replied, “It would indeed, Sister… but I’d feel uncomfortable buying beer. I’m sure it would cause a scene at the checkout.”

 

The first nun smiled and said, “I can handle that.” She grabbed a six-pack and marched to the register.

 

The cashier looked stunned as the two nuns stepped up with the beer.

 

“We use it to wash our hair,” the nun said with a straight face. “It’s a sort of shampoo.”

 

Without missing a beat, the cashier reached under the counter, tossed in a pack of pretzel sticks, and said,

 

“The curlers are on the house.” 

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

[Alpo]

 

 

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Alpo]