It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

xxx

Edited May 6, 2025 by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984

[Alpo]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

On 5/4/2025 at 7:46 PM, Alpo said:

It's been a while, but double deck four-handed pinochle is played with partners isn't it?

 

We used to play when I was a kid, so that would be the late 60s very early 70s. I guess it has been a while.

 

So with partners, the insurance agent should have been Bill's partner. But the dialogue seemed like they were all playing against each other.

 

Maybe they do things different in California.

 

The whole game was different from any double deck pinochle that I’ve ever played. But the instructions on the web are also different.

 

my background in the game are: my military career in the 60s and online in the 21st century.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

SHE: Dinner is supposed to be paid for by men that’s why it’s called men u.

 

HE: Actually it’s me n u.

[Alpo]

1 hour ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

The whole game was different from any double deck pinochle that I’ve ever played. But the instructions on the web are also different.

 

my background in the game are: my military career in the 60s and online in the 21st century.

Aside from Robert dealing to the right, when he asked how the cards were dealt, Joe's told him one each until they're all gone with four in the crib.

 

The crib?

 

When I played they were dealt four at a time. And you dealt all of them.

 

The crib is cribbage, and it's a two-hand game, and I put two cards in the crib and the other guy puts two cards in the crib, so there are four cards in the crib.

 

I found one set of instructions online that said you could play with normal decks. All you had to do was strip out the deuces through the nines, and only use the aces through the tens.

 

The aces through the tens meld points - the nines are worthless - but they were still required.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

46 minutes ago, Alpo said:

Aside from Robert dealing to the right, when he asked how the cards were dealt, Joe's told him one each until they're all gone with four in the crib.

 

The crib?

 

When I played they were dealt four at a time. And you dealt all of them.

 

The crib is cribbage, and it's a two-hand game, and I put two cards in the crib and the other guy puts two cards in the crib, so there are four cards in the crib.

 

I found one set of instructions online that said you could play with normal decks. All you had to do was strip out the deuces through the nines, and only use the aces through the tens.

 

The aces through the tens meld points - the nines are worthless - but they were still required.

Don’t use the nines.

[Alpo]

Like I say, it's been 50 or more years since I've played.

 

Use the nines in three hand one deck. But yeah, not in double deck four-hand.

[Subdeacon Joe]

Body: so tired

Anxiety: we have so much to do

Depression: let's just sleep forever

Insomnia: lol, good luck

Pain: *kicks in the door* Sup guys?

[Alpo]

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

4 minutes ago, Alpo said:

 

 

  hmmmmmph ......... here they cost a whole dollar.

[Alpo]

[Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494]

 

 

[Alpo]

[Eyesa Horg]

11 hours ago, Alpo said:

And no doubt he'll drive off that way.

[Alpo]

[John Kloehr]

11 hours ago, Alpo said:

 

 

 

[Alpo]

You notice the sign he hit says NO PASSING?

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

On 5/6/2025 at 10:52 AM, Alpo said:

Aside from Robert dealing to the right, when he asked how the cards were dealt, Joe's told him one each until they're all gone with four in the crib.

 

The crib?

 

When I played they were dealt four at a time. And you dealt all of them.

 

The crib is cribbage, and it's a two-hand game, and I put two cards in the crib and the other guy puts two cards in the crib, so there are four cards in the crib.

 

I found one set of instructions online that said you could play with normal decks. All you had to do was strip out the deuces through the nines, and only use the aces through the tens.

 

The aces through the tens meld points - the nines are worthless - but they were still required.

Cribbage is a two, three, or four handed game. Donation to the crib varies accordingly.

[Subdeacon Joe]

4 minutes ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Cribbage is a two, three, or four handed game. Donation to the crib varies accordingly.

 

Try 2 person,  9 card cribbage.   Discard 3 cards. Or a 12 card deal, discard 4.   You get some insanely high counts.  You need to make it a 241 point game.   

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

I think ‘crib’ was said when ‘widow’ was appropriate. There is a widow in single deck pinochle, never had one in double deck.

[MizPete]

23 hours ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

here they cost a whole dollar.

England also.

[MizPete]

I don't know cribbage.  In college we played cutthroat Hearts.  I was NOT allowed to sit between the Linda's.  It could get ugly.  Stephen King called it chasing the bitch.  Being Southern Ladies we called it chasing the biddie.

[Subdeacon Joe]

Olympics 2028 preview 

 

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIy_SSDxYIF/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

[Alpo]

1 hour ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Reminds me of one of the Dortmunder books.

 

Donald E Westlake was a prolific author of mysteries - some serious and some comedic. He wrote several about this pretty inept criminal named Dortmunder, and his gang. The wheelman of the gang was Stan.

 

So this guy pulls a brand new Cadillac to the curb in front of the hotel, and as he's getting out Stan hustles over wearing a red bellboy-like jacket. Holds his hands out for the keys and says, "I'll park that sir".

 

The man hands him the keys, and as Stan is getting behind the wheel the man hands him a $5 bill.

 

As he is driving away he thinks how neat it is that the owner tipped him $5 to steal his car.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

The last paragraph ….

 

The bells pealed at Holy Name Cathedral as a crowd quickly gathered. Schoolchildren mingled outside, whooping and shouting. Bishop Larry Sullivan, vicar general of the Archdiocese of Chicago, told a press conference that it’s an exciting day for the city and the country.

“I would say the Chicago way is that we come together, we share our faith,” he said.

The cathedral’s rector, Father Gregory Sakowicz, said the sun came out in Chicago when the new pope was announced, a coincidence he described as “God’s way of remaining anonymous.”

He said he was “happily shocked,” and that he had a burning question: was new Pope a White Sox fan? A journalist said she’d heard he’s for the Cubs, and Sakowicz chuckled. “God bless him,” he said.

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

Sister, I don't mind shootin' 'em but I'm not gonna sweat over 'em.

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

[Alpo]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

What’s the quickest way to get in touch with your inner self?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Single ply toilet paper…

[Alpo]

[SHOOTIN FOX]

Single ply dollar store toilet pape!