It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Alpo]

They make chicken McNuggets out of ducks now?

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

3 hours ago, Alpo said:

They make chicken McNuggets out of ducks now?

You really want to know what’s in McNuggets?

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

I hope this brings a smile…..

 

The VA gave me a walker so I can get more walking in to strengthen my back. I added a phone and drink holder and flames!
 

[Sedalia Dave]

15 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

I hope this brings a smile…..

 

The VA gave me a walker so I can get more walking in to strengthen my back. I added a phone and drink holder and flames!
 

 

NICE

[Alpo]

[Alpo]

 

[Alpo]

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

20 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

I hope this brings a smile…..

 

The VA gave me a walker so I can get more walking in to strengthen my back. I added a phone and drink holder and flames!
 

 

 

My wife got one of these:

 

 

Added a cane holder, a drink holder, a bag that attaches to the front.   Really nice 

 

The first upright she had from her physical therapist was a regular short walker with aftermarket armrests and handles.   It had the usual tiny hard plastic wheels that couldn't make it over a blade of grass in the sidewalk and almost shook her to death on any but the smoothest surface. 

[Alpo]

[Brazos John]

On 4/25/2025 at 11:07 AM, Gracos Kid said:

Dentist in Georgia was named Dr. Hurt........really!

We had a kid's dentist in Texas by the name of D. Cade (last name omitted).  

[Alpo]

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

 

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

 

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

I was watching a clip about Bill Belichick's interview with the 24 year old love of his life  and reading through the comments.   There was one that caught my eye, "That has more red flags than a parade by the Chinese army." 

[Stump Water]

On 4/25/2025 at 11:21 PM, Alpo said:

They make chicken McNuggets out of ducks now?

 

When God created ducks, He said, "Waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo."

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

 

Edited April 29, 2025 by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984

[Alpo]

You know, that's plumb dumb.

 

At the top of the page they redacted his last name.

 

Halfway down the page they have his telephone number. I suppose someone could look that number up for 1967 and find out the man's name.

 

But that extra work is not necessary because at the bottom of the page is his name, typed, with his signature.

 

So why, if they're going to put David J Anderson at the bottom of the page, did they take such care to remove Anderson from the top of the page?

 

The meme maker. Plumb dumb.

 

So is otto, for that matter. He keeps removing the b from plumb.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

4 hours ago, Alpo said:

You know, that's plumb dumb.

 

At the top of the page they redacted his last name.

 

Halfway down the page they have his telephone number. I suppose someone could look that number up for 1967 and find out the man's name.

 

But that extra work is not necessary because at the bottom of the page is his name, typed, with his signature.

 

So why, if they're going to put David J Anderson at the bottom of the page, did they take such care to remove Anderson from the top of the page?

 

The meme maker. Plumb dumb.

 

So is otto, for that matter. He keeps removing the b from plumb.

I blacked out his name, not they. Sorry if it was not up to your standards.

 

the whole thing is out there on FB, This was sent to me.

Edited April 30, 2025 by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

[Alpo]

I've been meaning to post that for a couple or 3 days.

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Alpo]

Back last winter when we had the big blizzard all over down here in the south. In Louisiana they had to put chains on.

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

Point and click method for organic meat procurement 

 

 

 

 

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

38 minutes ago, Alpo said:

 

That one isn't hard, people saw other creatures eating it.  

 

The 2 foods I wonder about are olives and mushrooms.   You ever try an olive right off the tree?  So bitter it almost turns your face inside-out. 

And mushrooms...."Well, Og ate one that looks like this and it killed him.   Erk ate this type and was dead before the Sun had moved 3 fingers in the sky....maybe this one won't kill me. "

[John Kloehr]

31 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

That one isn't hard, people saw other creatures eating it.  

 

The 2 foods I wonder about are olives and mushrooms.   You ever try an olive right off the tree?  So bitter it almost turns your face inside-out. 

And mushrooms...."Well, Og ate one that looks like this and it killed him.   Erk ate this type and was dead before the Sun had moved 3 fingers in the sky....maybe this one won't kill me. "

Probably learned from watching other animals and what they ate.

 

I can't imagine any other reason compared to Og daring Erk to eat the next thing to come out of some bird's butt.

[Alpo]

That's one of those stupid memes that people don't think about.

 

WHO THOUGHT THAT EATING SOMETHING THAT COME OUT OF A BIRD'S BUTT WOULD TASTE GOOD?

Every carnivore on the planet eats eggs. Somebody undoubtedly saw a fox or a bobcat or something similar raiding a bird's nest, and decided to give it a try.

 

There was a sitcom years back. Jack Elam was Loni Anderson's grandfather or great-uncle or something like that. And he had a black partner. They had been prospectors? Maybe? And now these two old men are living with the blonde chick. And in one episode they're at a fancy restaurant eating oysters on the half shell, and Jack says something about "the bravest man there ever was was the first guy to eat an oyster. Looks like something that come out of an ox's nose, but sure tastes good".

   Added: just went and looked the sitcom up. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Easy_Street_(TV_series)

 

I would like to know who first came up with the idea of eating nettles? I have been told that if you cook them they are good - they taste like spinach. Well, that would not be good because I don't like the taste of cooked spinach. Raw spinach is good, but I'm not going to eat a raw nettle. So you pluck a nettle in your hand starts burning and you decide to boil the thing that's burned your hand, and then eat it?

 

Or how about dandelions? Just about everything on the planet with a milky sap is toxic. So who had the bright idea for the first time to try a dandelion?

Edited May 1, 2025 by Alpo

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

I've got a framed photo of the mother-in-law on my drinks cabinet.

It keeps the kids from it.

And when she starts to look good I know it's time to stop drinking.

 

 

Edited May 1, 2025 by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

My wife, Judy, had been after me for several weeks to varnish the wooden seat on our toilet.

Finally, I got around to doing it while Judy was out. After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned.

She came home and undressed to take a shower.
Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet.
As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.

About that time, I got home and realized her predicament.
We both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever.
Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts.

Judy wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the hospital emergency room.

The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this.)

Judy tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, “Well, Doctor, I’ll bet you’ve never seen anything like this before.”

The Doctor replied, “Actually, I’ve seen lots of them I just never saw one mounted and framed.”

[Alpo]