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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

Subdeacon Joe

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17 hours ago, Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 said:

I live in Ohio, trust me it's not just New England.


I was on I-70 West yesterday, driving through the last of the snow, being careful with the horse trailer in tow, and a guy breezed past me on a Harley.

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4 minutes ago, DocWard said:


I was on I-70 West yesterday, driving through the last of the snow, being careful with the horse trailer in tow, and a guy breezed past me on a Harley.

Came down the hairpins in the Shenandoah's on our Harley pulling a trailering, 4 inches of snow on the road and 22°! It was 70 2 days previous. I won't even pretend it was fun. Then hit white out snow coming over the top of Allegheny's heading east! Literally had icicles hanging off our knees!

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20 hours ago, Alpo said:

It's almost as good as the weather channel reporter during hurricane Florence. Can barely stand up against the gale-force winds. And then the two guys casually walk behind him in the background.


Something I liked was the plants in that sign directly behind him are blowing to the left so the wind would be coming from the right, but his clothing is blowing to the right and he's leaning desperately to the left, so the wind must be coming from the left.


You suppose they got one of them big wind fans?

That is Jim Cantori.


From what I remember, there where two dynamics at play in that scene:


The camera crew had shelter at a spot where Jim was in serious winds blowing around the edge of the building, he was clearly in more wind than the dudes wearing shorts..


Jim was trying too hard for the story and was overselling it.


Way overselling it.

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Once upon a time my wife decided that I needed to get out more. Needed to spend some time with other people – not just “go to work, come home, be with the family”.


So she announces to me that I am going out, that night, with Larry. Larry is the father of a friend of our daughter’s. I don’t particularly like the man, but I don’t particularly dislike him either. So we go out.

We went to Down the Hatch. Navy bar, across the street from the Navy Base. Larry, being an old “Destroyer Sailor” (Destroyer Sailors are the only real sailors in the Navy – I know this is true because Larry told me), he naturally had to drink at a Navy bar.

And then I discovered why I was invited. Larry had no wheels. Without me, he could not have gone to the bar. When we walked in, he left me and went over to a table to join some of his drunken ex-Navy friends.

Ah well. Today I would have gone back outside, got in the truck and gone home. Leave him to figger out how to get home. But I was a nicer person back then. So I go over to the quarter tables and start shooting pool with myself.

Couple or three hours later, and Larry is drunk out his ass, these three Marines come in. Naturally, being a Destroyer Sailor, in a Navy bar, Larry could not allow this. He goes over and tries to pick a fight with the Marines. He tries and he tries, but – they won’t fight. Finally he gives up and staggers back to his drunken buddies.

I go over to the one he had been attempting to fight, and thanked him. He asked why. I said, “For not hitting him. I came with that ass, and by barroom etiquette, if he was in a fight, I would have to join in. And y’all would have beaten the snot out of us”. Well, I didn’t really say“snot”.


He tells me, “If I got in a bar fight, and got kicked out of Dive School,my gunny would kill me. That jerk could have spit in my face, and I would not have hit him.”

A little later, and the bartender cut him off. When I went to the bar to change a dollar, she jumped me. “It’s amazing how you’ve been drinking Dr Pepper all night, and now you want Coors. I told Larry he couldn’t have any more beer, and you can’t buy it for him either.”

Told the stupid woman I had asked for QUARTERS, not for COORS.

A little later Larry decided that, since he could not get any more to drink, there was no sense in being there, and we left. I took his drunk ass home, and then went to the house. Told my wife that was the first and last time I was going “out with the boys”.


And not to accept any more invitations from Larry.

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An old lady was standing at the railing of a cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said:

'Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?

"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."

"But, madam, you are not wearing anything under your dress, and your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman earnestly.

The woman looked down. then back up at the man and replied...

"Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"

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I can understand why you couldn't take a decent picture, if you were using a film camera - which nobody does anymore - but what I don't understand is why would you be attempting to take a picture with a cinnamon stick?



If I had wanted those two posts merged, I would have done it to begin with.


Edited by Alpo
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