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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread


Subdeacon Joe
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A Scotsman stranded on a desert island comes across a woman who has washed up onto shore. The Scotsman helps the woman and welcomes her to the island.

Later on that day, the woman says, "I don't suppose you smoked before you were stranded on this island, did you?"

The Scotsman explains that he most certainly did smoke before becoming stranded on the island. So, the woman produces a cigarette from her bag, and they enjoy a smoke together.

A little later, the woman says, "I don't suppose you drank before you were stranded on this island, did you?"

The Scotsman explains that he most certainly did drink before becoming stranded on the island. So, the woman produces a flask from her bag, and they enjoy a drink together.

Some time later, the woman says, "So, you've been on this island for ten years without a woman, huh?"

"That's right," says the Scotsman.

The woman continue, "I don't suppose you'd like to play around?"

 

"Good God lady," exclaimed the Scotsman, "you have a set of golf clubs in that bag too?!?!'

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17 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

FB_IMG_1663642087917.jpg

I saw a skunk get hit by 2 cars, about 3 seconds apart at 45 mph, where the skunk balled up as the first car went over him without squishing him, he bounced and straightened out, and another car came along, he balled up again, the car went over him, and he straightened out and ran off the road into the woods.

I wonder how he did...

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7 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

 

 

 ....... but it's already tomorrow here ..........   :)

 
True, but that doesn’t look like an Aussie squirrel. :)

Edited by Sedalia Dave
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If it was an Aussie squirrel, it would be on your face trying to kill you! ;)

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1 hour ago, Rip Snorter said:

Does that make him Tio Taco?  Actually squirrels in the U.S. attack occasionally.  Had a cousin get badly bitten and you hear about an attack now and then.

Oz immigrant squirrels. :lol:

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Anyone up for Ray Steven's the Mississippi Squirrel Revival?

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I got a squirrel education once ~ I think I was thirteen... had a "pet" squirrel in the back yard.  He'd eat outta my hand.  But I learned REAL quick that he most assuredly did NOT care to be picked up.  

 

Dawg, but he was quick!  And those looong teeth did a number on a few fingers before I managed to hurl the li'l booger.  Worst was the chomps right into the joints.  Even with the launch, he fared better than me; continued begging, but I made sure to toss him his "treats" after that.  :huh:

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