Alpo Posted July 10 Share Posted July 10 1 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted July 10 Share Posted July 10 1 7 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted July 10 Share Posted July 10 1 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 Posted July 11 Share Posted July 11 5 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted July 11 Share Posted July 11 4 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted July 11 Author Share Posted July 11 Stuck the landing: https://www.facebook.com/17841457683886525/videos/574797714816874/ 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted July 11 Share Posted July 11 1 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted July 11 Share Posted July 11 7 hours ago, Alpo said: .... hands up if you sang it in your head !?! ..... 🙃 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted July 11 Share Posted July 11 5 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted July 11 Share Posted July 11 The guys were all at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, 'Man, what happened to you?' He said, 'Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.' The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. They said, 'Man, what happened to you? You look awful!' He said, 'Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I sat up andwatched him all night.' The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. 'Good morning,' he said. They couldn't believe it! They said, 'Man, what happened?' He said, 'Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. So, he sat up and watched me all night. 1 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted July 12 Share Posted July 12 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted July 12 Author Share Posted July 12 3 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted July 12 Share Posted July 12 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted July 12 Share Posted July 12 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted July 12 Share Posted July 12 Two old men are sitting in a bar. One of them looks at the other & says “You look familiar… where you from?” The second old man replies “Ireland” The first old man looks astonished & says ” No way I’m from Ireland myself, what a small world!” The second old man then looks at the first “What city?” The first old man says “Dublin?” The second old man looks astonished “No way I’m from Dublin meself! What a small world.” The first man looks at the second old man “What school you go to?” The second old man replies “Saint Mary’s class of 89” The first old man is absolutely baffled ” NO WAY Saint Mary’s class of 89 myself! What a small world!” At this point, another man comes into the bar & says to the bartender “Hey, Joe! Anything interesting going on?” The bartender says “Not really… but the Murphy twins are drunk again.” 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted July 12 Share Posted July 12 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gateway Kid SASS# 70038 Life Posted July 12 Share Posted July 12 14 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: Every year at harvest time! Remember if you don’t have peach juice all over you when done, your peaches weren’t really ripe! Regards Gateway Kid 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted July 12 Share Posted July 12 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted July 12 Author Share Posted July 12 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted July 12 Share Posted July 12 1 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted July 13 Share Posted July 13 A guy was walking along a beach in California when he stumbled on something. He bent down and picked it up and it was an Arabian lamp. He proceeded to wipe the sand off when a Genie appeared. The Genie seemed to be angry and said “This is the third time that I’ve been disturbed this week, so you’re only going to get one wish instead of three, so you’d better make it a good one!” The man thought for a minute and said, “I’ve always wanted to visit Hawaii, but I get sea sick, and I’m afraid of flying, so I wish that you would build me a bridge so that I can drive over.” The Genie exclaims “You’ve got to be out of your mind! Think about the logistics, all of the steel that would have to be sunk in the ocean and all of the asphalt! That’s too hard, think of something else.” The guy thinks again and says, “You know, I’ve been married and divorced three times and each time, they say it’s because I don’t understand them. So I wish to be able to understand women, know what they’re thinking when they’re quiet…” The Genie interrupts him saying “two lanes or four?” 3 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted July 13 Share Posted July 13 Dedicated to all the idiots in our lives... When Gandhi was studying law at the University of London, he had a professor called Peters who couldn't stand him. Gandhi was not a guy to be intimidated. One day the professor was eating in the dining room and Gandhi sat next to him. The professor said, "Mr. Gandhi, do you know that a pig and a bird cannot eat together?" " “Okay, professor, I'm flying away…” replied Gandhi, who sat at another table. The deeply irritated professor decided to take revenge in the next exam, but Gandhi answered all the questions brilliantly. Then he decided to ask him the following question: "Mr. Gandhi, imagine that you are standing on the road and you see a bag; you open it and find wisdom and a lot of money." Which of the two would you choose? " - “Of course it's money, Prof.” - "Ah, I would choose wisdom." - “You are right Professor; In fact, each one chooses what he/she DOESN'T have!” " The angry teacher wrote the word idiot and returned the exam. Gandhi read the test result and returned immediately. "Professor, you signed the exam, but you forgot to grade it!" 3 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted July 13 Share Posted July 13 (edited) A wife & husband visited a farm, they saw a bull making love with a cow. The wife asked the farm manager: "How many times does a bull do this per day?" Manager replied: "6 times or more a day". Wife: looks at her husband and said....."you see!!!" Then the husband asked the manager: "You mean 6 times a day with the same cow?" Manager said " No, No, with different cows everyday." Husband looks to his wife and says ..."you see!!!" the bandages come off Wednesday but he’ll be on crutches for a while yet. Edited July 13 by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozark Huckleberry Posted July 13 Share Posted July 13 (edited) 3 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: A wife & husband visited a farm, they saw a bull making love with a cow. The wife asked the farm manager: "How many times does a bull do this per day?" Manager replied: "6 times or more a day". Wife: looks at her husband and said....."you see!!!" Then the husband asked the manager: "You mean 6 times a day with the same cow?" Manager said " No, No, with different cows everyday." Husband looks to his wife and says ..."you see!!!" the bandages come off Wednesday but he’ll be on crutches for a while yet. The Coolidge Effect. Another bull 'story': An old bull and a couple of young bulls were in a pasture, checking out the cows in an adjacent field. The two younger bulls ran up to the older bull and one said, "Hey pops -- c'mon! We're gonna run down the hill, vault that fence, jump the creek, and visit a couple of those cows!" The old bull paused in his chewing, and answered, "You go ahead, sonny. I plan to walk down the hill, crawl through the fence, wade the creek, and visit them all." Edited July 13 by Ozark Huckleberry 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted July 13 Author Share Posted July 13 4 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted July 13 Share Posted July 13 Got dat right 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted July 13 Share Posted July 13 As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super." On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed a well-dressed rather Arabic-looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground." She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one." To which, without missing a beat the flight attendant replied, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, **tch.” 1 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted July 13 Share Posted July 13 2 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted July 13 Share Posted July 13 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyesa Horg Posted July 13 Share Posted July 13 1 hour ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super." On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed a well-dressed rather Arabic-looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground." She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one." To which, without missing a beat the flight attendant replied, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, **tch.” I'd wanna poke it 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted July 14 Author Share Posted July 14 You can leave $5,000 unattended in a room with me and every dime is gonna be there. Now if you leave M&Ms, that's your fault. 5 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted July 14 Share Posted July 14 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted July 14 Share Posted July 14 Got my pic taken at DMV, the lady asked if it was ok. I asked if I could take a minute to put my make-up on. got a chuckle out of the clerk. 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted July 14 Share Posted July 14 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted July 14 Share Posted July 14 On 7/13/2024 at 6:57 AM, Subdeacon Joe said: In many parts of Florida you’re apt to find both at the same time. 3 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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