It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Alpo]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

Nice try Mr. Wannabe Cool!

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

12 hours ago, Alpo said:

Skinny cooks.

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Subdeacon Joe]

1 minute ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

[Calamity Kris]

1 hour ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

This picture reminded me of this video.

 

 

[Alpo]

That donkey apparently likes chickens. And people send the lady chickens especially for the donkey.

 

 

[Sedalia Dave]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Capt. R. Hugh Kidnme]

On 7/6/2024 at 9:29 AM, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

Nice try Mr. Wannabe Cool!

How exactly was she sitting to do that?

 

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Three priests were at a religious reunion, and in an endeavor to strike up conversation the first priest (a Lutheran) said……..

“Last week I caught a possum in my back yard, I know they are territorial so I took it a mile away and do you know, within 4 days it was back in my back yard again”!

The second priest was an Anglican and he immediately chimed in…..

“That’s right, they do home, I caught a possum in my back yard, and to be sure I took it 5 miles away and would you believe within 2 weeks it was back in my yard again”!

The third priest was Roman Catholic, he hung his head for a moment and said……

“Well, I once caught a possum in my Rectory garden, I baptized it, confirmed it and I haven’t seen it since”!

 

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

1 hour ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Three priests were at a religious reunion, and in an endeavor to strike up conversation the first priest (a Lutheran) said……..

“Last week I caught a possum in my back yard, I know they are territorial so I took it a mile away and do you know, within 4 days it was back in my back yard again”!

The second priest was an Anglican and he immediately chimed in…..

“That’s right, they do home, I caught a possum in my back yard, and to be sure I took it 5 miles away and would you believe within 2 weeks it was back in my yard again”!

The third priest was Roman Catholic, he hung his head for a moment and said……

“Well, I once caught a possum in my Rectory garden, I baptized it, confirmed it and I haven’t seen it since”!

 

 

And... After what the Rabbi did, there was not a possum within fifty miles!  

[Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494]

 

 

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

An elderly man in a bar had a couple of beers, and the bartender told him he owed 4 dollars.

“But I paid, don’t you remember?” said the customer.

“Okay,” said the bartender.

“If you say you paid, you did.

The elderly man then went outside and told a friend that the bartender couldn’t keep track of his customers’ bills.

The second man then rushed in and ordered a beer.

When it came time to pay he pulled the same stunt.

The barkeep replied, “If you say you paid, I’ll take your word for it.”

Soon the customer went into the street, saw an old friend, and told him how to get free drinks.

The elderly man hurried into the bar and began to drink high balls when, suddenly, the bartender leaned over and said,

“You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid and both claimed that they did. The next guy who tries that is going to get punched right in the nose.”

“Don’t bother me with your troubles,” the final patron responded.

“Just give me my change and I’ll be on my way.

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

Mandatory text

 

Edited July 9, 2024 by Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474

[DocWard]

On 7/3/2024 at 9:46 PM, Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 said:

  

 

 

Oh, right, my daughter "borrowed" it all.

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

5 hours ago, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said:

That was how Debbie Reynolds found out that Hubby Eddie was with Liz.

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

[Sedalia Dave]

1958. Sinatra once asked Dean Martin to come up to Lake Tahoe and work for a week. That was the arrangement: no talk of money, contracts, etc. After the date, both men were due in Las Vegas. Martin, known to be nervous about flying, asked, approaching the airport, “What kind of plane you got now?” Sinatra said, “See that big white plane there?” Martin nodded and Sinatra said, “That's not it.” Instead, Sinatra’s plane was “the little red French fighter jet” he had named the Interim (while he waited for a bigger plane on order). In addition to making a marvelous contribution to Martin's fear of flying, it added to his intense claustrophobia. The cockpit of the Interim was tiny.

Dean Martin: “The pilot presses a button and this top glass slides over my head… Here's the pilot in front of me this far. I said, 'Where's the bar?' and Frank reaches down, gets a bottle of J&B, says, 'Here.' We're up about thirty-five thousand feet and Frank hands me a check. For a lot of money. 'Why didn't you give me this check down on the ground?' 'Because,' he said, 'you wouldn't have gotten on the plane, that's why.'”

Source story: Nancy Sinatra’s book “My Father

 

Photo of the business jet version of the Morane-Saulnier MS. 760 Paris Jet

 

Photo: Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin with a different (larger) airplane, Sinatra’s Lear Jet. Photo by John Bryson, 1965

 

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Subdeacon Joe]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8C6zH5geYd/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Texas Joker]

1 hour ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

And that's why translations of 'dead'  languages are suspect. 

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

[Subdeacon Joe]

6 hours ago, Texas Joker said:

And that's why translations of 'dead'  languages are suspect. 

 

"The gulf of meaning between the terms "horse play" and "pony play" illustrates why expecting your culture's translation of another's ancient texts to be 100% true to their original intent is dangerous and probably not good idea." Author unknown. 

[DeaconKC]

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

[Alpo]

[Sedalia Dave]

[Alpo]