Subdeacon Joe Posted February 26, 2023 Author Share Posted February 26, 2023 1 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L Posted February 26, 2023 Share Posted February 26, 2023 21 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: If you think this post is confusing, you should sea mine. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted February 26, 2023 Share Posted February 26, 2023 Something to consider: 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted February 26, 2023 Author Share Posted February 26, 2023 One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior going on. So He called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time. When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not." God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion." So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time. When the angel returned, he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true. The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good." God was not pleased. So He decided to email the 5% who were good to encourage them and give them a little something to help them keep going. Do you know what the email said? Okay, I was just wondering, because I didn't get one either. 3 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeaconKC Posted February 26, 2023 Share Posted February 26, 2023 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted February 26, 2023 Author Share Posted February 26, 2023 4 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted February 26, 2023 Author Share Posted February 26, 2023 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeaconKC Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately, the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful he began to cry. A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. I feel terrible, he explained. I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it. The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to the car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit. Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans, and hopped down the road. 50 meters away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two again, hopped down the road another 50 meters, turned, waved, and hopped another 50 meters. The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded, What was in your spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit? The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: 'Hare Spray' Restores Life to Dead Hare. Adds Permanent Wave 1 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeaconKC Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 3 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canton Chris Posted February 27, 2023 Share Posted February 27, 2023 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 Posted February 28, 2023 Share Posted February 28, 2023 3 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted February 28, 2023 Share Posted February 28, 2023 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted March 1, 2023 Author Share Posted March 1, 2023 Never gets old. "Recently, a Marine Corps Harrier Squadron was invited to attend the annual Air Force Red Flag exercised at Nellis Air Force Base, NV. This is one of the USAF's big exercises where they test Combined Arms employment of tactical air assets. The USAF F-15 pilots showed up on the ramp with dozens of rear echelon airman types and tons of equipment such as Ground Power Units, Accessory Power Units, Hummers, Trucks, Air Conditioners, etc. The Marines appeared ready to operate in a combat environment and showed up with only their Harriers. The Air Force commander commented to the Marine commander: "Where is all your support stuff? Geezz, you guys really are just Grunts that know how to fly." Not wanting to disappoint the Air Force commander, the Marine commander got an idea of his own to carry on the comment. He talked to his First Sergeant and later that night, the First Sergeant had his Marines make up bayonet studs on hose clamps. You see, there is a Pitot tube sticking out of the nose of a Harrier. In the late hours of darkness, the First Sergeant had the clamp with the bayonet stud tightened onto the Pitot tubes of each Harrier. The next morning, the Air Force pilots fell out on the ramp in front of their F-15s. The Marine pilots fell out on the other side of the ramp in front of their Harriers. Each Marine pilot had on his deuce gear with a bayonet in the scabbard. The USAF commander ordered his pilots to "man your planes." The USAF ground crews by the dozens scrambled to their trucks, APU's, GPU's, etc. and the pilots ran to their planes. The Marine commander ordered his Marines to "Fix Bayonets." Each pilot ran to the front of their Harrier and fixed his bayonet on the stud attached to the Pitot tube. The Marine commander then ordered "CHARGE" and the Marines jumped in their Harriers, dusted airborne, and flew off. The Marine commander turned to the USAF commander and said; "Now that is what we Marines consider Close Ground Support." 4 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted March 1, 2023 Share Posted March 1, 2023 5 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted March 2, 2023 Author Share Posted March 2, 2023 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted March 2, 2023 Share Posted March 2, 2023 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted March 2, 2023 Share Posted March 2, 2023 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted March 2, 2023 Share Posted March 2, 2023 1 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted March 2, 2023 Share Posted March 2, 2023 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted March 2, 2023 Share Posted March 2, 2023 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted March 2, 2023 Author Share Posted March 2, 2023 31 minutes ago, Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 said: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canton Chris Posted March 2, 2023 Share Posted March 2, 2023 2 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted March 2, 2023 Share Posted March 2, 2023 On a step, a priest sat next to a drunk struggling to read a newspaper. Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest: "Do you know what arthritis is?" The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied: "It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say." The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper. A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften: "How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it." 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L Posted March 2, 2023 Share Posted March 2, 2023 She's got such a narrow mind, when she walks fast her earrings bang together... 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted March 2, 2023 Author Share Posted March 2, 2023 1 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L Posted March 2, 2023 Share Posted March 2, 2023 On the way home from a party, a wife said to her middle aged husband: "Have I ever told you how sexy and irresistible to women you are?" "I don't believe you have dear," he replied flattered. "Then what the hell gave you that idea at the party?" 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted March 2, 2023 Share Posted March 2, 2023 3 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted March 2, 2023 Share Posted March 2, 2023 5 hours ago, LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L said: She's got such a narrow mind, when she walks fast her earrings bang together... ..... so, ........ you've met my ex-wife ? 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted March 2, 2023 Share Posted March 2, 2023 4 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: I only laugh because I know the feeling well. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted March 2, 2023 Share Posted March 2, 2023 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted March 3, 2023 Author Share Posted March 3, 2023 Granny Vader 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted March 3, 2023 Share Posted March 3, 2023 On 2/20/2023 at 12:10 AM, Canton Chris said: Probably posted before but still funny! At least it's practical. I've got a spare in the work shop so I might just try it out. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted March 3, 2023 Share Posted March 3, 2023 4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted March 3, 2023 Share Posted March 3, 2023 A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door of the First house on the street. A tall lady answered the door. Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman entered the living room, opened a big black plastic bag, and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet. "Madam, if I cannot clean this up within 5 minutes using this new powerful Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this dung!" exclaimed the eager salesman. "Do you need chilly sauce or ketchup with that?" asked the lady. The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?" "There's no electricity in the house…" said the lady. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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