Being Polite

[Yul Lose]

Yesterday I had to go down to our little hardware store and as I was opening the door to enter I saw a woman walking towards the door and I held it open for her. She got closer and proceeded to tell me that she could open her own door and didn’t need my help. So I walked in and made sure that I closed the door so that she’d have to open it herself. Anyway I’m looking for a couple of not so common bolts in the bolt and screw section and guess who comes over and starts looking for a special bolt herself? Yep it’s her and she was looking for a cap screw and showed me the one that she had to match it up with. I knew immediately where those screws were but since she didn’t need me to hold the door for her I was sure that she could find the cap screw for herself also and I told her so and walked away. One of the store clerks walked over and started helping her.

 

Over the last few years I’ve had the door incident happen a couple of times at different places. Seems  like it’s always been with younger wimmen, the older ones seem to appreciate good manners.

[Widder, SASS #59054]

Sometime, we can't win for losing.   Seems no matter how polite or courteous we try to be, some folks just have a nature

to demean kindness and be rude.

 

..........Widder

 

[Alpo]

I know that feeling. I really do.

 

But I have reached a stage in my life where I no longer care about reactions. I do things that I do because I think that's what I should do. It's like gratitude. If I do something for you and you tell me thank you, that's wonderful. But if you don't tell me thank you, it's not going to ruin my day. And I'll probably do it for somebody else. Because I felt it needed to be done.

 

If I held the door for a woman (notice, I did not say lady), and she gave me a blast of crap about it because she is a liberated woman and did not need to have her door held open by a male chauvinist pig, I would continue to hold the door. Leaving her the choice of walking through the door that was being held open for her by this male chauvinist pig, or standing there. Nice thing about being old is I have nothing but time. I can stand there and hold that door open for her all day. And, if she finally broke down and walks through the door, and makes a nasty comment (because, truthfully, women like that are prone to make nasty comments when you're polite to them), I would ignore it. Then later, if the same woman asked me for help, I would help her. Because that's what I should do. What I should do has nothing to do with her response.

[Rip Snorter]

IMO courtesy isn't about them, it is about me and living up to the standards of my upbringing. 

[Rye Miles #13621]

I have NEVER had that happen to me. I've always got a nice thank you for opening a door for a lady. 

[Outlaw Gambler]

I have read this reaction to that type of person. 
"I didn't hold it open because you are a lady, I held it open because I am a gentleman"

[Dusty Devil Dale]

54 minutes ago, Yul Lose said:

Yesterday I had to go down to our little hardware store and as I was opening the door to enter I saw a woman walking towards the door and I held it open for her. She got closer and proceeded to tell me that she could open her own door and didn’t need my help. So I walked in and made sure that I closed the door so that she’d have to open it herself. Anyway I’m looking for a couple of not so common bolts in the bolt and screw section and guess who comes over and starts looking for a special bolt herself? Yep it’s her and she was looking for a cap screw and showed me the one that she had to match it up with. I knew immediately where those screws were but since she didn’t need me to hold the door for her I was sure that she could find the cap screw for herself also and I told her so and walked away. One of the store clerks walked over and started helping her.

 

Over the last few years I’ve had the door incident happen a couple of times at different places. Seems  like it’s always been with younger wimmen, the older ones seem to appreciate good manners.

A lot of younger women --- and men-- are pretty inside themselves.  Rudeness is a natural offshoot.  

[Blackwater 53393]

When that happens to me, I simply reply that my parents raised me better!!  I’ve already drawn their ire.  I might as well really ruin their day!!

 

The last time I did, the woman sputtered and fumed ‘til she was clean out of sight!!

 

My politeness only goes so far!!!

[The Original Lumpy Gritz]

Lot of courtesy is seen here in Springfield MO 

 

[Yul Lose]

25 minutes ago, Alpo said:

I know that feeling. I really do.

 

But I have reached a stage in my life where I no longer care about reactions. I do things that I do because I think that's what I should do. It's like gratitude. If I do something for you and you tell me thank you, that's wonderful. But if you don't tell me thank you, it's not going to ruin my day. And I'll probably do it for somebody else. Because I felt it needed to be done.

 

If I held the door for a woman (notice, I did not say lady), and she gave me a blast of crap about it because she is a liberated woman and did not need to have her door held open by a male chauvinist pig, I would continue to hold the door. Leaving her the choice of walking through the door that was being held open for her by this male chauvinist pig, or standing there. Nice thing about being old is I have nothing but time. I can stand there and hold that door open for her all day. And, if she finally broke down and walks through the door, and makes a nasty comment (because, truthfully, women like that are prone to make nasty comments when you're polite to them), I would ignore it. Then later, if the same woman asked me for help, I would help her. Because that's what I should do. What I should do has nothing to do with her response.

I find my tolerance for the new “woke” bullshit is very low.

Just now, The Original Lumpy Gritz said:

Lot of curiosity is seen here in Springfield MO 

???

[The Original Lumpy Gritz]

4 minutes ago, Yul Lose said:

???

Auto correct 

[Pat Riot]

I have had that happen a couple of times. Each time the female appeared to be a fat bitter lesbian. They may not have been lesbian, but they were fat and they were bitter. 

I nearly always get a smile and a “thank you” from older and younger Ladies alike. 

1 minute ago, The Original Lumpy Gritz said:

Auto correct 

So what did Otto correct?

[Lawdog Dago Dom]

Must be location.

 

I saw that snarky behavior more when I lived in Illinois.

 

Not at all in southwest Missouri.

 

Not that it doesn't exist here, I just haven't experienced it firsthand like I did before.

[Kid Rich]

I don't care about the gender of anyone coming in a door behind me, I will hold it open for them. Every once in a while I get a dirty look or no reaction at all. My reply is you're #### welcome. Most folks smile and thank you.

kR

PS forgot to mention most folks will hold door for me if I'm behind them If they let the door swing shut behind them right in front of me they will get a sarcastic thank you if it's obvious they saw me.

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

I was shopping with my elderly Father at a grocery store, when he said "Thank-you Dear" to the cashier, for his change, only to be treated to "I'M NOT YOUR DEAR!"

Always quick, even at his then 90+ he responded: "Thank GOD you're not!" 

He got a "Good For You Sir" from the Lady next in line.

[PowderRiverCowboy]

Just a couple weeks , Family with kids I started through exiting as they were entering I held door for mom and daughter got a smile and a OHH Thank you from them Husband got a glare like gee  see what it you should be doing( let the door swing shut on him )

[Okie Sawbones, SASS #77381]

[Blackwater 53393]

Recently, I’ve had to use a cane to get around quite a bit.  I’ve become pretty handy with it, but once in a while someone will open a door for me and I always show my appreciation, politely.

 

HOWEVER! I also still get the door for people most of the time, especially when there is a female in the group.  I can push a door open with the cane or use it as a stop when there is a group passing through.  Courtesy isn’t any burden and the cane is a tool that sometimes makes it a little easier to show.

 

I also like to go through any choke point last if I don’t know what is on the other side.  Since I always pause as I enter a room, it allows others to go through without me holding them up.  I mostly carry openly and being courteous sometimes seems to let people know that I’m the good guy.

[Dawg Hair, SASS #29557]

If I would ever not hold a door open for a woman I swear I would probably see my 4' 11" mother glaring at me!  Heck I do it for my daughter and for my two granddaughters.  They both giggle and think it's cute.  

[Warden Callaway]

We were taught edicate in grade school.  Not "Billy has two daddies". 

[Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663]

I’ve not had such an unfortunate experience in years.  I find most folks in public around here are kind.  Some even go out of their way to be considerate.  

[Charlie MacNeil, SASS #48580]

1 hour ago, Alpo said:

 

 

If I held the door for a woman (notice, I did not say lady), and she gave me a blast of crap about it because she is a liberated woman and did not need to have her door held open by a male chauvinist pig, I would continue to hold the door. Leaving her the choice of walking through the door that was being held open for her by this male chauvinist pig, or standing there. Nice thing about being old is I have nothing but time. I can stand there and hold that door open for her all day. And, if she finally broke down and walks through the door, and makes a nasty comment (because, truthfully, women like that are prone to make nasty comments when you're polite to them), I would ignore it. Then later, if the same woman asked me for help, I would help her. Because that's what I should do. What I should do has nothing to do with her response.

Kindness to your enemy heaps coals of fire upon his head...

[Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663]

29 minutes ago, Blackwater 53393 said:

Recently, I’ve had to use a cane to get around quite a bit.  I’ve become pretty handy with it, but once in a while someone will open a door for me and I always show my appreciation, politely.

 

HOWEVER! I also still get the door for people most of the time, especially when there is a female in the group.  I can push a door open with the cane or use it as a stop when there is a group passing through.  Courtesy isn’t any burden and the cane is a tool that sometimes makes it a little easier to show.

 

I also like to go through any choke point last if I don’t know what is on the other side.  Since I always pause as I enter a room, it allows others to go through without me holding them up.  I mostly carry openly and being courteous sometimes seems to let people know that I’m the good guy.

Dishwater, my friend I’ve known you for many years and have never seen you be anything but one of the truly good guys!     And your good natured attitude is contagious.  

[Utah Bob #35998]

2 hours ago, Rye Miles #13621 said:

I have NEVER had that happen to me. I've always got a nice thank you for opening a door for a lady. 

Ditto.

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

I recall another occasion.

Winter, I wear a hat, (A black Stetson btw) even here in Eastern Canada.

Getting on an elevator, some ladies present, I took it off and held it as I always do.

One nice French-Canadian lady leaned over a bit and said "That was nice, Thank-You!"

No even noticing the other men still wearing their hats I commented: "Ma'am, I'm an Albertan. If my 80 year old Daddy saw me fail to take my hat off in the presence of a lady, he'd kick my butt."

A couple doffed their hats and a couple gave me the stink eye.

Tough sh.......shoe leather. Get some manners.

[Muggle]

The young pretty ones seem to be like that nowadays, Don't give it a thought.

[Warden Callaway]

58 minutes ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

I recall another occasion.

Winter, I wear a hat, (A black Stetson btw) even here in Eastern Canada.

Getting on an elevator, some ladies present, I took it off and held it as I always do.

One nice French-Canadian lady leaned over a bit and said "That was nice, Thank-You!"

No even noticing the other men still wearing their hats I commented: "Ma'am, I'm an Albertan. If my 80 year old Daddy saw me fail to take my hat off in the presence of a lady, he'd kick my butt."

A couple doffed their hats and a couple gave me the stink eye.

Tough sh.......shoe leather. Get some manners.

 

Two things Dad wouldn't allow was coming to the table with your hat on or shirt off.  I always wear a shirt anyway but still take my hat off when I set at a table to eat.

[Michigan Slim]

I open doors for the ladies, I take my hat off and wash up for supper. I grew up that way. My mom would stand at the car door until I opened it. Didn't take long for even me to figure it out. I open doors for the women in my life because I love them. I open them for others because my mom would climb out of the grave and whack me with a wooden spoon id I did not.

[Michigan Slim]

7 hours ago, Dawg Hair, SASS #29557 said:

If I would ever not hold a door open for a woman I swear I would probably see my 4' 11" mother glaring at me!  Heck I do it for my daughter and for my two granddaughters.  They both giggle and think it's cute.  

My mom was 4'11"! Or six-two with a wooden spoon or a flyswatter. 

[TN Mongo, SASS #61450]

No good deed goes unpunished.

 

New favorite country song:

 

 

 

For all the "woke" young people who don't care for us old people.

[Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967]

I'm reminded of an incident....

 

Late 1980's I was working for a little outfit in San Francisco called Bank of America as a department head and project manager.

 

One morning I headed into a conference room for a meeting; as I walked in, I saw four female colleagues already seated.  "Good morning, Ladies!"  I said with a smile.

 

Three of them smiled back and returned the "good morning!"

 

The fourth leveled a scowling glare at me and blurted "I am a WOMAN!  I am NOT a LADY!"

 

Still smiling, I replied, "Well, ma'am, I reckon you're not.  My apologies," as I took a seat.

 

The other three tried mighty hard to conceal expressions of mirth.   

[Eyesa Horg]

I always hold the door for anyone if they are within 20-30' of the door, even stand there and wait for the slow ones. Generally I get a Thank you, sometimes I'm apparently invisible and once in a while the snot ass woke response. I try to tell them they are welcome as well. I'm with Yul, my woke patience is getting minimal.

 

 

[Eyesa Horg]

What the hell has happened to common courtesy??

[Rip Snorter]

3 minutes ago, Eyesa Horg said:

What the hell has happened to common courtesy??

It became uncommon!  

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

9 hours ago, Outlaw Gambler said:

I have read this reaction to that type of person. 
"I didn't hold it open because you are a lady, I held it open because I am a gentleman"

I've used that.  Learned it from my dad.