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How to avoid a DUI ticket


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A French policeman stopped an Englishman's car and asks if he has been drinking.
With great difficulty the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married that morning, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception, and many single malts scotches thereafter.
Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to administer a breath test to the Englishman and verifies that he is indeed totally sloshed out of his head.
He asks the Englishman if he knows why, under French Law, he is going to be arrested.
The Englishman answers with a bit of humour.

"No sir, I do not! But while we're asking questions, do you realize that this is a British car and that my wife is driving on the other side?"

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A French policeman pulls over a car driven by a German tourist for speeding.

 

Officer: "Name?"

 

Driver:  "Hans Schmitt"

 

Officer:  "Age?"

 

Driver:  "46."

 

Officer:  "Occupation?"

 

Driver:  "No, just visiting.";):rolleyes::D

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