How do you deal with disrespectful teenagers?

[J-BAR #18287]

Respect and obedience are very different things.  But you are welcome to disagree.

[Red Gauntlet , SASS 60619]

36 minutes ago, MizPete said:

 

  And that boy clung to Petey like cat fur.  We figured it was because, possibly for the first time in his life, he felt like somebody gave a damn.

 

I well-remember daughter #3 had a close friend in high school who told her how lucky she was that her parents required her to check in and to be back at certain hours, not go certain places, etc. She said her parents didn't even care what she did or where she was. 

 

Kids don't just need discipline; they want it, whatever they may say.

[Buckshot Bear]

19 minutes ago, Red Gauntlet , SASS 60619 said:

 

I well-remember daughter #3 had a close friend in high school who told her how lucky she was that her parents required her to check in and to be back at certain hours, not go certain places, etc. She said her parents didn't even care what she did or where she was. 

 

Kids don't just need discipline; they want it, whatever they may say.

 

They crave it.

And as someone mentioned above in a post it starts from the day you bring them home from the hospital.

 

Often you hear parents whining about how bad their child is/turned out to be. I always want to say (but don't) that behavior didn't happen overnight you nurtured it along for a long long time.

[Smokin Gator SASS #29736]

I don't believe a teenager going over to a friends house for the first time needs to wait a few weeks so his friends father can "earn" his respect before he behaves respectfully. He should act respectfully from day one. Eventually the father could demonstrate that he is not worthy of being respected and the friend can just stay away at that point.

[Buckshot Bear]

2 hours ago, J-BAR #18287 said:

Respect is earned by the quality of one’s character.  Demanding respect indicates you have already lost the battle.  You can instill fear, and fear can provide some degree of control, but it probably will not grow into respect.  

Think of the officers and LEOs you have worked with over your career.  You didn’t respect all of them, even though some had the power to discipline you.  If you figure out why you respected those you did, you have your answer.

 

Disagree with that line above in bold. 

 

You being a parent you certainly don't need to earn the respect from some teenager visiting your home........its a given from the get go. If the teenager doesn't respect that (even before he's entered your front door and met you) he certainly hasn't been raised right.

[J-BAR #18287]

If a teenager (or anyone else) misbehaves in my home I will remove him either by myself or with the help of the police by declaring the offender a trespasser.  Respect does not enter the situation.  Respect is evidenced by good manners which the offender has not displayed.  Demanding respect from someone who has already offended you simply makes you look foolish.

 

 

[Buckshot Bear]

3 hours ago, J-BAR #18287 said:

If a teenager (or anyone else) misbehaves in my home I will remove him either by myself or with the help of the police by declaring the offender a trespasser.  Respect does not enter the situation.  Respect is evidenced by good manners which the offender has not displayed.  Demanding respect from someone who has already offended you simply makes you look foolish.

 

 

 

I don't need to ever meet the the person, I don't even have to be present at my home to deserve respect from some pimply faced teenager for what I have worked for and what I own if they are visiting my home if I'm there or in my absence.

[Slapshot]

1 hour ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

Disagree with that line above in bold. 

 

You being a parent you certainly don't need to earn the respect from some teenager visiting your home........its a given from the get go. If the teenager doesn't respect that (even before he's entered your front door and met you) he certainly hasn't been raised right.

Exactly a kid should respect his elders from the get go until they demonstrate they don't deserve the respect. Its all part of raising a child right.

[Joe LaFives #5481]

7 hours ago, LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L said:

Have a talk with the kid.  Tell him the expected behavior when he's a guest in your house, and that if he isn't willing to abide with that, he won't be welcome there.  Stick with that, and explain your reasoning to your kids.

And do so in Private.  Ask him to come in another room, that way he won't feel like he has to "perform"

[Trigger Mike]

2 hours ago, Joe LaFives #5481 said:

And do so in Private.  Ask him to come in another room, that way he won't feel like he has to "perform"

That is a good point 

[Abilene Slim SASS 81783]

13 hours ago, Joe LaFives #5481 said:

And do so in Private.  Ask him to come in another room, that way he won't feel like he has to "perform"

He’s being rude in public and should be dealt with in public, especially if he’s acting out to impress others.  It also lets others present know where you stand. Above all, be polite but firm that his behavior has consequences and will not be tolerated.