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Giving directions


Alpo

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You ever notice, when someone asks you for directions to somewhere, they expect you to have it on the tip of your tongue.

 

I was at the gas station one day, and this guy pulled in and asked how to get to the La Royale, which was our local homosexual bar. I knew where it was - it was kind of famous, or maybe infamous - but I had to think about how to get there from where we were. And when I had not given him directions within 10 seconds he hauled off and drove away.

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If they are annoying I tell them to go down to “Barky Delgarian’s  Garage and turn right, then go 3 miles . It’ll be on your left.”  Where I originally hailed from there actually was a “Barky Delgarian” and he did own a service station. I never met the man but every local knew where his garage was. 
Most times people look at me like I’m from Mars and move on without comment. Of course I don’t really know how to get to most places from where I am. I just wander around aimlessly until I stumble onto something familiar. :D

 

CJ

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Yeah, it takes a minute to figger a route from where you are to where they want to go- and figger out how to word the directions so that somebody else can understand them.

 

Folks tend to use landmarks when traveling along a known area.  The thing is, your landmarks may not make a lick of sense to anybody else but you.  There's an intersection near where I grew up that will forever be 'that intersection where the 2 Mustangs had the bad wreck' because 2 Mustangs had a wreck there when I was in high school.

 

That won't mean much to folks if I was to give it as a landmark when giving directions, so I have to back up a ways down the road and tell them to take the second left after the church.

 

Truckers tend to deal with road numbers/names instead of landmarks.  If I'm on US 80 headed west, I don't care if it's Main St, Veteran's Memorial Highway or the MLK Parkway in this town- I'm just following the little white shield with the '80' in the middle and the little sign on the same post that says 'West' if I'm passing through.

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Landmarks are always good, and sometimes disturbing.  I was on a business trip in Indiana.  The factory was out in the middle of nowhere.  The directions we got was to head down a certain road, and turn left at the dead horse.  I had them repeat that, because I thought I heard it wrong.  Then I assumed that was a bar or diner or something.  No... there was a dead horse laying on the corner.  :huh:

 

At least it was gone by the next morning.  I have to admit, it made a pretty good landmark for knowing where to go... a bit disturbing but hard to miss.

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"Does this road go to Bradford?"

"Nope, it just lies here like it's done for over a hundred years!"

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1 minute ago, Crazy Gun Barney, SASS #2428 said:

Landmarks are always good, and sometimes disturbing.  I was on a business trip in Indiana.  The factory was out in the middle of nowhere.  The directions we got was to head down a certain road, and turn left at the dead horse.  I had them repeat that, because I thought I heard it wrong.  Then I assumed that was a bar or diner or something.  No... there was a dead horse laying on the corner.  :huh:

 

At least it was gone by the next morning.  I have to admit, it made a pretty good landmark for knowing where to go... a bit disturbing but hard to miss.

When we were looking for land up here, a realtor told us to take a left at the old "water tower". That seemed like it would be easy to find, nope, never found it. Years latter when I was working for an underground cable locating company, I had to go up that road. When coming back out--there --way across a field in pucker brush, laying on it's side was the water tower. Completely covered in vegetation in the summer! I find a lot folks around here give directions referring to landmarks from over 50 years ago that aren't that anymore.  Me--- I still can't find Barker's building, Oh yeh, it changed to Cadwell's 40 plus years ago! The house up the road is called the "Webster" place, hasn't been the Webster's since the late 1800's, but still called the Webster place by the locals.

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That sounds like the neighborhood I grew up in (and still live in).  My grandfather built two houses in the 50's, one behind the other on a large lot.  My dad grew up in the front one, so did I, and he still lives there.  I live in the second house.  The houses in the neighbor hood are still referred to as belonging to people who moved away decades ago.  "Dotties" house hasn't been hers since the '80's, the house at the end of the street is still referred to as "Adell and Jim's place", but I dont recall ever having met them so I can only assume they were from before my time (I'm 51 years old).  There are still families that refer to my dad as Pete instead of Larry because that was the nickname my aunt called him when they were kids, and some families in the neighborhood have been there that long.

 

 

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1 hour ago, Alpo said:

You ever notice, when someone asks you for directions to somewhere, they expect you to have it on the tip of your tongue

 

I've never run across that.  On the other hand, I'm pretty quick to say either, "Sorry, I have no idea" or "Let me think a minute." Any more, though, I'm likely to pull out my phone and look it up.... which they could have done.

 

About 15 years ago I called a hardware store to ask if they were on the north or south side of the road. The lady told me that it depended on which way I was coming.   I couldn't get through to her that it didn't matter, North is North and South is South no matter which way I came in.

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Re: local landmarks. I've always worked under the assumption that if someone asks me for directions they aren't locals so the local names won't mean anything.  "Go down to the old Rec Center and take the next left after it" is useless when it hasn't been the Rec Center for 40 years and the sign has been gone for 35 years.

 

Now, if it's something like "Go down until you get to Peto's and take a right" and the Peto's sign us still prominent even though it hasn't been Peto's for 30 years, that's another thing. Or, "If you get to the bar with a car sticking out of it you've gone too far" when for the past 60 years the bar at the curve has had the back half of a car up against it so it looks like the car crashed into it and it's easy to spot.

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When I was down in Georgia, locals giving directions usually started something like, "Well, Ya go down this way, (vaguely waving their hand), 'till ya come to the red light. Then ya turn..." I always asked them which way I turned if the light was green. Threw them off about 90% of the time. 

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3 minutes ago, Larsen E. Pettifogger, SASS #32933 said:

For people living in the 21st Century all you have to do is say "Hey Siri how do I get to ---" and she will take you there.

No thanks. I don't want some "device" listening to every word I utter. <_<

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My dad giving directions: "Go down Bailey Road until you get to where Old man Smith had the red barn, it ain't there anymore, but you'll turn just across from it.  If you pass a gray brick house you've gone too far."

 

In Germany, I've asked directions before and had the guy say just follow me, jump in his car and lead me there.  Very nice, I thought.

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3 hours ago, Larsen E. Pettifogger, SASS #32933 said:

For people living in the 21st Century all you have to do is say "Hey Siri how do I get to ---" and she will take you there.

 

 .... no she won't, ......... but she will tell you where to go .......  :o

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Just a word of advice:  in Ireland, any ONE person, even a relatively small child, can tell you how to get there.  NEVER, EVER ask directions of more than one Irishman standing together.  Yes, they may start "well, ye go up hyere and tarn..."   And yes, we had someone get in the car to show us how "and wasn't I just goin' there anyway."

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A man is new in town
A man is new in town and asks the next passerby for directions:
"Excuse me, could you please tell me where the church is?"
"Yeah, it's on 3rd street."
"What, right next to the brothel?"
"What? No! The brothel is on 17th street."
"Oh, I see. Thank you very much!"

 

 

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5 hours ago, Larsen E. Pettifogger, SASS #32933 said:

For people living in the 21st Century all you have to do is say "Hey Siri how do I get to ---" and she will take you there.

Where I come from, Siri gets lost and Google Maps claims my driveway is a road, the detatched garage doesn't exist and the road runs slap over the 4 foot retaining wall behind it.

 

CJ,

 

Amusing yourself at the expense of those trying to help you doesn't sound like a good way to get reliable help.  I think I'd be tempted to give you directions to a proctologist office or something similar just to be spiteful.

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If the person that asks are acting like A holes, they get bad directions. In '77, I worked in a 24 hour gas station from 1 am to 9 am. Interesting cliental during these hours and plenty of stories that I could tell. One guy came in with a real AH attitude and demanded that I give him directions to Dunedin which was about 6 miles to the north. I told him that he was on the wrong coast and that Dunedin was on the east coast of Florida just above Daytona. Last I saw, he was headed east.

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3 hours ago, MizPete said:

Just a word of advice:  in Ireland, any ONE person, even a relatively small child, can tell you how to get there.  NEVER, EVER ask directions of more than one Irishman standing together.  Yes, they may start "well, ye go up hyere and tarn..."   And yes, we had someone get in the car to show us how "and wasn't I just goin' there anyway."


This describes the opening hilarious scene of the movie “The Quiet Man” where the guys at the train station argue over the best way to direct how to get John Wayne to where he’s going.  I had several interesting experiences myself in Ireland asking directions. I’ll never forget one fellow giving me a convoluted route to travel including taking a short cut behind someone’s barn, “They don’t mind!”  Some of my best travel experiences. 
 

Seamus

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I don't see the point of intentionally giving a person bad directions.  We don't know what a stranger might be going through. A relative just die?  On the way to an important interview or meeting?  Just say "Sorry, I don't know" and leave it at that.

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2 hours ago, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said:

CJ,

 

Amusing yourself at the expense of those trying to help you doesn't sound like a good way to get reliable help.  I think I'd be tempted to give you directions to a proctologist office or something similar just to be spiteful.

I always said it in jest, and nobody ever took it badly. We always wound up laughing about it. 

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