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In the beginning..............


Buckshot Bear

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In the beginning..............

 

In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for footy matches, going to the beach and barbies. He created night for going prawning, sleeping and barbies. God saw that it was good.
Evening came and morning came and it was the second Day.
On the Second Day God created water - for surfing, swimming and barbies on the beach. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Third Day.
On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plants - to provide tobacco, malt and yeast for beer and wood for barbies. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Fourth Day.
On the Fourth Day God created animals and crustaceans for chops, sausages, steak and prawns for barbies. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Fifth Day.
On the Fifth day God created a bloke - to go to the footy, enjoy the beach, drink the beer and eat the meat and prawns at barbies. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Sixth Day.
On the Sixth Day God saw that this bloke was lonely and needed someone to go to the footy, surf, drink beer, eat and stand around the barbie with. So God created Mates, and God saw that they were good blokes. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Seventh Day.
On the Seventh Day God looked around at the twinkling barbie fires, heard the hiss of opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of all the Blokes, smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns and God saw that it was good. well almost good. God saw that the blokes were tired and needed a rest.
So God created Sheilas - to clean the house, bear children, wash, cook and clean the barbie. God saw that it was not just good, it was better than that, it was bloody great! IT WAS AUSTRALIA !!

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This is the problem I have always had with religion.

 

He created the first day for, among other things, going to the beach. He created the first night for, among other things, shrimping.

 

But He did not make water until the second day. Without water you can't have a beach.

 

He did not make shrimp until the 4th day, so why would He make the first night for going shrimping?

 

Preachers tell you these kinds of things, and then get upset with you when you say, "Hang on there - that don't make sense".

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26 minutes ago, Alpo said:

Preachers tell you these kinds of things, and then get upset with you when you say, "Hang on there - that don't make sense".

Buckshot Bear’s a Preacher?

Well, I’ll be darned. I did not know this. :D

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11 minutes ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said:

Buckshot Bear’s a Preacher?

Well, I’ll be darned. I did not know this. :D

When he preaches a sermon that calls beer, Sheilas, blokes and barbies good ... I'm gonna listen to that one!

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24 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

Alpo, ..... didn't you ever go "shrimping" and not catch anything ? ....

Hard to make the boat float when water has not yet been invented.

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3 minutes ago, Crazy Gun Barney, SASS #2428 said:

I once new a Sheila named Barbie.  She was a little too fond of beer and blokes.  Maybe she was Australian too...

 

 ..... a distinct possibility .......   -_-

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2 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

 

 ...... boat ?  :huh:

Yeah, boat.

 

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You go out in the boat, and you put them huge honking nets over the side, and you scoop up all the shrimps.

 

How do you catch prawns down there in Oz, if you don't use a boat?

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Commercial fishers do ..... 

 but we used to use a net and wade along the shallows of the coastal lakes (salt water) ....... 

 

     ........ catch a lot of weed that way ... :(

 

 

 

 OK .... CGB caught me out, .......... what he says below ......   :blush:

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3 minutes ago, Alpo said:

How do you catch prawns down there in Oz, if you don't use a boat?

in Oz, Prawns are predatory, venomous and ill tempered.  All you have to do is walk along the shore, and beat them to death as they lunge out of the water to eat you.

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