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Mother Superior


Buckshot Bear

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Mother Superior gets dressed and steps into the hall of the convent to begin the day.  As she walks down the hall, she encounters one of the senior sisters.

 

”Good morning Mother Superior!  Oh! I’m sorry! I see you got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”

 

”Why no!” She replies,  “I’m in wonderful spirits today!” She walks on down the hall.

 

At the head of the stairs, Mother Superior meets up with one of the younger nuns.

 

”Good morning!” the young sister declares. Then, after a slight pause, she continues. “Oh!” She says quietly, “I see you got up on the wrong side of the bed. Sorry.”

 

Mother Superior shakes her head, frowning slightly, “Not really.  I think it’s a wonderful morning!”  She continues down the stairs to the plaza.

 

As she approaches the chapel, she’s met by a new novice.

 

”Why, good morning Mother Superior! Oops!” she stammers, blushing bright red. “I see you got up on the wrong side of the bed!”

 

Exasperated, the older nun says, through clenched teeth, “Why is it everyone thinks I got up on the wrong side of the bed? I’m sure that I started out this morning, smiling and jovial!”

 

The novice blushes even more!! She lowers her voice and looks toward the floor.  As Mother Superior follows her view, the novice says in a quivering voice, “You’re wearing the Father’s shoes…”

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A very old Irish Mother Superior was on her deathbed. The nuns had not been able to get her to drink or eat. She finally decided she might have a glass of cold milk. The nuns brought her one but didn't tell her they added a couple fingers of Irish whisky. She enjoyed it and even asked for another. As she was slipping away for her final journey the nuns asked her if she had any words of wisdom for them. "Aye lassies. Doncha be selling that cow!"

JHC

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The very young and pretty nun was walking home from the soup kitchen when a homeless man dragged her into the woods and had his way with her. When he was done, he asked her what she would tell the Mother Superior when she got back to the convent. She calmly said that she would tell her the truth. She said: "I will tell her that I was on my way home when the most disgusting, repulsive and abhorrent man dragged me into the woods and had his way with me… twice; that is if you are not too tired.

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