Buckshot Bear Posted November 6, 2021 Share Posted November 6, 2021 Lawyers should never ask an old grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.In a trial in a small outback town the prosecutor called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman who had lived in the town all her life, to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I certainly do know you.'The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense lawyer?'She again replied, ' Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a big drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your missus, and one your sister. Yes, I know him alright.'The prosecutor nearly died.The judge asked both prosecutor and defense lawyer to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,'If either of you two bloody idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send the both of you to the electric chair.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 6, 2021 Share Posted November 6, 2021 That one is #23. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smuteye John SASS#24774 Posted November 6, 2021 Share Posted November 6, 2021 1 hour ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: That one is #23. Never seen the Australian variation before. That was different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted November 6, 2021 Share Posted November 6, 2021 This joke reminds me of my Nanny, my Dad’s Mom. She knew a lot of people in town and she also had no problem telling them what she thought of them and their families. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt. James H. Callahan Posted November 6, 2021 Share Posted November 6, 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Rich Posted November 6, 2021 Share Posted November 6, 2021 6 hours ago, Capt. James H. Callahan said: Ya ruint a good joke by postin a pitcher of a politician. kR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt. James H. Callahan Posted November 6, 2021 Share Posted November 6, 2021 6 minutes ago, Kid Rich said: Ya ruint a good joke by postin a pitcher of a politician. kR No offense meant I assure you. You can't blame donkeys because the jackasses chose them as their symbol. JHC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waxahachie Kid #17017 L Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 "Woe to you lawyers." Yeshua ben Yosef, as quoted in Luke, chapter 11, verse 46. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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