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The Aussie Humour Thread


Buckshot Bear

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11 hours ago, Alpo said:

And just in case you're interested, although everyone refers to them as pennies, we do not have pennies in United States coinage. They are cents.

I wish EVERYONE had more cents (sense?).  :D

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17 hours ago, Alpo said:

I thought everybody knew what d stood for.

 

When you go to the hardware store and you get a box of six penny nails, what does the box say on the end of it?

 

grip-rite-box-nails-6hgbx1-c3_1000.jpg

That's right. 6d

 

"When you go to the hardware store and you get a box of six penny nails, what does the box say on the end of it?"

 

"Known to cause cancer in california"?

 

 

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I think 1/120 of a pound is a d. 1/100 of a pound is a p.

 

Back when it was a d, how many nails of a certain size could one buy for a d.

 

Only we call them pennies now, even though the exchange rate does no work out.

 

A little d is a penny when talking about nails, and a denarius when talking about money, well maybe, at some certain time.

 

I did  a google search and I think this clears it up nicely:


 

Quote

 

…was created when a silver denarius was struck to a weight of 70.5 grains (4.57 grams). Six of these denarii, or “pennyweights,” were reckoned to the ounce (uncia) of 423 grains (27.41 grams), and 72 of them made the new pound (libra) of 12 ounces, or 5,076 grains (328.9 grams).

 

 

 

 

Especially the part about a new pound being 12 ounces. Kind of ties it all together. Especially with reckoning, folks do that a lot (reckon) around were I live.

 

On edit: Bacon used to be sold by the pound, packages are now 14 ounces. We just have to keep up...

Edited by John Kloehr
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1 hour ago, John Kloehr said:

 

On edit: Bacon used to be sold by the pound, packages are now 14 ounces. We just have to keep up...

Picked up 2 "pounds" last week. All brands were 12 oz.:angry:

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There’s a great little grocery store near me that has an even better butcher/meat department. They slice their own bacon and grind their own sausage, (among other things they do very well) and both are sold by the pound.

 

It’s almost impossible to find a “half gallon” of ice cream anymore. 
 

A loaf of bread is 3/4 to 4/5 the size you used get and is seldom as fresh and never as well baked.

 

My current pet peeve is the size of candy bars!!  What used to be the regular size bar is now the “King” or “Giant”  size and nearly double or even triple the price of just a few years ago and the “regular” size bars are, at best, three bites and cost more than ever!!

 

 

I’m just glad my vehicles don’t run on MILK!

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On 3/19/2023 at 10:31 PM, Alpo said:

So if there was a creek, and you built a structure to block the creek so the water could not continue on downstream (this structure would be called a dam here in the states) the backed up creek water behind the structure would be called a dam in Oz? The backed up water here would be called a lake or a pond, depending on how big a body of water it turned out to be.

 

The pictures appear to be a place where there used to be water - where the water has gone away, possibly because of a drought. Here that would be referred to as mud flats.

The backed up water can also be a reservoir or res for short.

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On 4/11/2023 at 12:28 AM, Alpo said:

And just in case you're interested, although everyone refers to them as pennies, we do not have pennies in United States coinage. They are cents.

 

And here in Canada we have no cents (or sense for that matter!)

 

Case in point:

Our Prime Minister

Screenshot-20210428-145256-Instagram.jpg

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3 minutes ago, Rip Snorter said:

A Super G Constellation unless I am mistaken, flew on one as a boy!

 

Thanks for that, I didn't know what it was but was wondering.....would that place the ad in the late '50's and '60's?

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1 minute ago, Rip Snorter said:

I can't recall if I was 10 or 11 for the flight but that would be mid '50's.  They went commercial in 1950, Lockheed Super G Constellation search will give more than you want to know!

 

Thanks Rip.

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2 minutes ago, Rip Snorter said:

To my Mother's distress, when on the clothes tree they were a favorite target for my Daisy Red Ryder. Still have it and it still works.

 

ROFLMAO !!!! I used to shoot them off the clothesline as well with an air rifle :) 

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1 hour ago, Rip Snorter said:

To my Mother's distress, when on the clothes tree they were a favorite target for my Daisy Red Ryder. Still have it and it still works.

 

1 hour ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

ROFLMAO !!!! I used to shoot them off the clothesline as well with an air rifle :) 


 I did it once. Grandma was very good at letting me know those were not for target practice. 

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My maternal grandfather was a crack shot with any kind of gun.  He hunted squirrels because they were pests and rabbits for extra meat. He often said that if you couldn’t shoot a rabbit with a .22, you didn’t deserve to eat it!  He carried a single shot .22 and a shirt pocket with his ammo in it.

 

My grandmother was also an excellent shot. Her garden was the worst place for any kind of varmint to visit!  Some of the critters would end up in the pot, but squirrels, possum, and coons became fertilizer.

 

We never had a BB or pellet gun, but there were .22s aplenty so long as you got permission!  (the clothespins were off limits!)

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51 minutes ago, Cactus Jack Calder said:

I found a couple of pictures I thought y’all might enjoy. Here’s the first one.B27076A3-A6C2-43A7-B5C1-F6D8355C3692.jpeg.42513eb5f58f8c13be088790d6f8c73d.jpeg

 

CJ

It's funny how your sense of humor changes as you age.

 

Back when I was in my twenties I would have thought that was funny. Along with steers and heifers, pointers and setters, buoys and gulls, he's and she's.

 

Now when I see something like that I think that they need to find the manager, go outsideDAMMIT otto YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO SPEAK SOUTHERN. UPSIDE, NOT OUTSIDE, YOU JERK his head a few times with a baseball bat, and tell him to go put signs on them that say men and women.

 

I no longer consider them funny. Just stupid.

 

 

Edited by Alpo
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1 hour ago, Alpo said:

It's funny how your sense of humor changes as you age.

 

Back when I was in my twenties I would have thought that was funny. Along with steers and heifers, pointers and setters, buoys and gulls, he's and she's.

 

Now when I see something like that I think that they need to find the manager, go outsideDAMMIT otto YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO SPEAK SOUTHERN. UPSIDE, NOT OUTSIDE, YOU JERK his head a few times with a baseball bat, and tell him to go put signs on them that say men and women.

 

I no longer consider them funny. Just stupid.

 

 

 

Just cause ya' gettin' older doesn't mean ya' got get old AND crochety :) 

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3 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

Just cause ya' gettin' older doesn't mean ya' got get old AND crochety :) 

Sure you do. "Get off my lawn!" If that ain't crochety, I don't know what is.

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